was on the phone for about an hour last night with nicole. had a nice chat with her. but we weren't chatting about the past or about school. we were talking about our problems. she consoled me and i consoled her. she counselled me and i counselled her. and this chat made the both of us emo and for me, i felt some terrible feelings. the same feelings i felt when i quarreled with the yr 1 crush at the beginning of this year. i think only year 1 frens will know who's this year 1 crush i'm talking about. not convenient to mention who is it cause i'm not sure if anyone from class still reads this. the same feelings that made me hurt and the urge of crying yet cry without tears. nicole asked if his reply to me affected me. if his acad status affected me or was it just the 'talk to you another time' reply. i felt it wasn't his acad status but more of the 'talk to you another time' reply. maybe i shouldn't have smsed him but if i didn't, i never knew how long i had to wait. but now i know. after his exams. and can i say i hope his exams end next week? at least i have a higher chance of having a happy face for class chalet. but nevertheless, the chat made me feel better.

i had my reasons for wondering how come mr chan told him about me. ok, if you tell me it's normal for mr chan to tell him that he saw me without knowing i knew him, maybe i still can accept. but to the extent that he asked if i was wearing a white shirt that day? i really have my reasons. and i want to know the answer to my questions. tried asking mr chan last nite but he was off to sleep. maybe tonite. it's just the curious side of me. or is it better not to know the answer at all?

overall, feeling better today. not so emo. but still, those thoughts still run in my mind and his replies. i guess it's the night thing, just like what i told nicole. it's the night thing. after 11pm, when the streets are almost quiet. when the house is quieten down. thoughts would run wild. guess i'll still be emo the next few days till he calls me back. i never know. but one thing i'm glad is that i have nicole and nicole have me for company over the next few days. i know i can always confide in her. she was, she is and she will always be my confidant, my zhi xin peng you. :) and i realised i've been talking to secondary school mates a lot these few days. just love those dearies. :)

i'm glad i have you as company..
i know you'll always be there for me..
whenever i need a listening ear..
thanks dear!