having problems sleeping again.. not sure why.. just feel tired but can't fall asleep.. ahh!! maybe cause of P2's 1st recon night coming up next week.. can be said as an annual big event? and whatsmore this year, i'm not like the others, stationed in church.. i'll be assisting auntie nancy and auntie tina so i'll be all over church.. according to auntie nancy, i'm undergoing training for level rep.. does that mean next yr i'm most prob likely to become level rep? owells.. so i'm somehow playing a big big big role this year.. and if you wanna say undergo training, my training started in june, after i took over nat in taking minutes.. haha...

anyway, off to church in another 2 1/2 hrs.. going in a little earlier so that i can settle some things rgd next week and see if the P3 needs help.. busy busy busy yet bored bored bored.. haha... after that, may or may not be meeting nicole already.. that girl ahh... so depending on her mood and energy level on whether she can still hang on for a few more hours and whether she's willing to come down to church and meet me.. haiz... owells.. shan't blame her.. hmmm... dunno whether the altar boys will be helping tonite? if they are, will he be there? i dunno.. but i doubt they're helping..

nicole said she'll find out when n levels end.. i told her no need already.. cause no matter how much i may wish to know, after knowing it will result in more hope and then eventually more hurt.. so i'd rather not know but self-deceive myself... owells.. letting nature take its course.. what's more important is that i'm happy.. agree? lol.. :)

-edited-
my mood's feeling good tonight.. not because i saw him... on the contrary, i thought i would see him when i saw the other altar boys but phew, he wasn't there.. you must be wondering why i'm glad that i didn't see him when i should be feeling otherwise.. well, he's not there would allow me to not think so much.. and my mood won't get affected.. so i guess for now, it's best that i don't see him.. i'm trying not to think about him or contacting him.. shall just wait and see after his exams (which i don't know when that ends..).. owells.. been feeling irritated and stuff the last few days.. people put me on aeroplane which after a while, puts me off.. argh.. owells.. hopefully the meet on sunday will go as planned... :S

我不懂你的心..
心在痛, 眼泪倒流..
有时候真的好累..
想不再回头..