hey!! taking a short breather away from the books.. anyway, this post will be filled with many pics that was taken the last few days.. so enjoy the pics!! =)

27th May, Tuesday:

shaun's birthday cake.. bought by the guys, kai hui and kelly frm TM.. but everyone chipped in.. ice-cream cake somemore.. lol...

that's shaun, the birthday boy and my boss.. =)

the people who celebrated shaun's birthday with him during the break..

dinner with them on tuesday.. from left to right: melvin, ben, gen, kai hui, me, shaun and desheng.. I so love this group of people.. they make me love the class even more and i'll miss them when we split next sem..

30 May, Friday: had an early celebration for melvin's birthday.. had lots of fun.. was nearly the only girl.. well, i guess now i think i wun be feeling wierd being the only girl with just those guys cause i'm getting used to it and me, shaun, desheng, ben and melvin may end up as fellow classmates next sem.. and yup, according to melvin, if we all end up in the same class, they won't leave me out.. well, i hope he holds his word.. anyway, here's the pics.. starting with HR presentation first..

the pic is quite small.. but nevertheless, here's 2B01.. I love my class.. =)

here's the ladies in class.. haha..

the very nice guys in class.. only the 9 of them..

my project group mates.. the two guys are shaun and ben.. gals are tricia, me, gen and miao feng.. i love this group!!

took some other pics in the library just before sch..

kai hui, ben, sara, shuan, me, melvin and desheng (who was the only one not in formal wear..)

numbers 1 to 7.. haha..

I like this pic!!!

after HR, we went over to ben's place... me, kai hui, ben(of course), desheng, melvin, shaun and yong qiang.. slacked a bit before leaving for orchard.. talked quite a bit on the bus and as i said, i'm hoping that me, melvin, desheng, ben and shaun end up in the same class... it'll be cool and i'll definitely do proj with them!! =) here's some pics taken at swensens', kai hui's workplace..

here's ben!! haha..

here's the secretary and the boss of my HR project grp.. gosh, his expression is so unglam.. haha..

anyway, end of pics.. i chatted quite a lot with the 4 guys last nite.. but i really like their company.. it was great and fun and they make me laugh!! i really do hope all 5 of us will end up in HR and finance and better still, same class.. lol.. but i will only know results on monday.. was home at midnight.. because of them, i stayed out till super late but it was all worth while.. heehee.. cabbed home with desheng, ben and dudu.. but we dropped ben and dudu first cause it was more convenient.. slept late last night as well cause my hair was wet and was talking to people online.. lol.. anyway, i'd be back in school on monday to meet gen cause she needs to borrow my notes.. the guys will be in school as well, so most prob go and look for them and study for a while with them.. lol... ok, end of post.. gonna shower and get back to the books.. =)

schooled today.. am supposedly to be at the airport to pick mum and pat up but no, just kinda got irritated and decided to stay home instead.. afterall, i've got quite a number of things to do.. anyway, was telling sherlyn abt him.. owells.. shan't think too much and take things at a time.. if we're meant to be, i guess we'll be.. afterall, i quite agree what my apel teacher said: 'from the time you came into this world, GOD has prepared your other half for you alr.' i agree and if he's isn't the right one, maybe GOD has yet let me meet this special guy.. =) rather optimistic, huh? lol.. but that's the truth isn't it? and i do believe that GOD has a plan for every one of us...

wasn't feeling that well today when i went to school.. was just about to skip finance tutorial but i decided not to.. lol.. so yup, i went to school.. lecture was better.. i preferred this lecturer from church rather than the usual lecturer.. i think he's clearer and pls, i do understand what he was saying.. haha.. the group of guys didn't turn up.. and apparantly, they went to desheng's hse.. lol.. how do i know? of course through boss.. lol.. had my jap presentation.. was so bored that i started messaging him.. lol.. and he was like 'haha sway.. etc..' whatever.. but was glad that at least he bothered to reply me.. =) public speaking today was slack.. talked to boss about nonsense.. haha..

needed a talk last nite and so, i talked to sherlyn. well, she asked me not to pin too much hopes on him.. well, i know that and after that great fall in feb, i'm so scared of falling. i tot i wouldn't fall for a guy again in year 2, but no, i was wrong.. we just had to be frens and he moved my heart... lol.. i guess this time round, i'll fall again but i just dunno how bad this fall would be.. talked to boss's gf this afternoon through sms.. haha.. boss, dun worry, ur secrets in class won't be spilled to her.. you have the word of your secretary.. i'm just being purely frens with her.. =) and she told me to take a step at a time and see how it goes.. mayb we really will end up together.. who knows?? haiz.. tmr's another busy day.. seems that they are going to celebrate melvin's birthday but i dunno how true that is.. if they are, i may consider going especially when i've been out this whole week.. no good.. and i need to start studying.. :)

i so badly need to blog.. current mood: shitty and down.. before i go into why i'm feeling this way, last night's dinner and movie with the group(me, kai hui, amy, gen, ben, desheng, shaun, melvin and yong sing) was great and fun!! had a lot of laughs.. will upload some pics after i get it from gen.. hopefully soon.. really enjoyed last nite's outing.. hopefully we'll have one soon!! right after mid-sem test.. =) trained home with ben, desheng, gen and yong sing.. reached home, tired and exhausted but only went to bed at 12a.m..

woke up this morning at 8.30.. luckily i told dad to give me morning call, otherwise i think i wld have overslept.. was real tired.. PS lecture with shaun and obviously, we weren't paying attention.. after that, lunched with him and desheng before meeting the group for presentation discussion.. it wasn't that productive cause i was all too tired and irritated partly because of the unexpected visit.. HR lect was quite ok.. revision.. at least i know what kind of questions we'll be tested and i know how to go round studying it.. lol.. after that slacked in the library before going for apel.. met sherlyn after school to pick up my finance tut.. haha.. will be chatting with her on the phone for a while soon.. lol..

now, after all that crap, why am i feeling down? it's because of him.. i mean, i've got so many things to do tonite and yet, my mind is all about him.. i feel what i've been doing so far is rather obvious.. couldn't he tell? couldn't he see? after being hurt once, i'm so scared of being hurt again.. i'm tired.. i wish i could let go, but not now.. it's too soon to let go.. but i want to, to avoid getting hurt.. i'm really at a loss. he makes me feel happy but what i'm doing now, is he finding it irritating and disturbing?? i really don't know.. can someone tell me? i'm feeling very down.. =(

p.s: i just realised yesterday that there are some classmates reading my blog other than kelly and kai hui.. so i just wanna say HI to melvin and shaun!! helloz!!

and to end off on a happy note: I LOVE 2B01 (the guys i talk to in class and kelly and kai hui and a few other girls.. ) LOVE YOU PEEPS LOTS!! =) YOU MAKE MY YR 2 SEM 1 GREAT!! =) FRIENDS 4EVA... =)

i'm tired.. really tired after all that commotion.. i'm only looking forward to his call now and hopefully, he'll call me back... =) anyway, was at home till 3.30 today before meeting caroline for dinner and some shopping.. that girl went on a shopping spree sia!! she seemed shopped-deprived.. haha.. had sakae for dinner and something unglam happened and i shall not say it here.. must help my dear fren save her reputation.. but i laughed till my stomach ached.. lol.. we took some pics but i'll only be able to upload them when she sent me.. haha.. left at 6 plus and trained home.. felt really exhausted on the way home.. gosh.. i think i'll be even worse tmr.. lol..

came home, gen called me and we chatted abt boss's birthday celebration.. lol... will be hanging out with them during break so that desheng and kai hui can go get the cake.. lol.. and i think kelly will go with them.. haha.. :) called melvin and told him about the plan.. now, hopefully yong sing get back to me or gen about who's confirm going for tmr's outing.. argh!! it's getting on my nerves lah.. sian.. anyway, i've got nothing more to say.. mayb next time.. my damn antivirus program just spoilt my mood.. :( but for now, i'm just looking forward to his call.... =)

I guess i was right to tell sherlyn that blogging has become an everyday thing, an addiction.. lol.. owells.. started to camwhore just now cause i was too bored.. here are some pics taken not too long ago:

the evening view taken from my room's window.. lol.. btw, those two schools there are BGSS and RSPS (my sister's future working place..).. haha..

tired from all those tutorials.. i'm still doing my BOE idea proposal btw.. haiz..

haha.. candid shot.. was just too bored.. lol..

i like this shot.. haha.. btw, this pics were taken by me.. lol.. anyway, angel's at camp.. she won't be back till monday.. mum and pat leaving for HK tmr and i can't go.. they'll be back on thursday.. thank goodness, my dinner meals have more or less been settled.. will most probably go to the airport to pick them up on thursday after school.. lol.. here's my schedule for this week after school:

monday - dinner and window shopping with dear caroline.. nicole may be coming but she's not confirmed yet.. looking forward to see at least caroline on monday!! =)

tuesday - movie and dinner with class peeps after school.. most prob either cab back or take a bus back with desheng.. haha.. =)

wednesday - most prob either packed dinner or dinner from nanny's place.. which means i'll see if sherlyn can walk with me again to opposite like last week or desheng?? see how it goes..

thursday - most prob fast food at the airport for dinner.. anyone interested?? haha.. picking mum and pat up that nite!! they'll be back in no time!! =)

anyway, gtg.. will try to complete my BOE tonight.. and show tutor on tuesday.. so that i've got more time to make amendmends if necessary.. lol.. update again maybe either some time tonight or tmr.. till then.. *waves* i suddenly miss you so much...

haha.. i'm blogging again!! whee!! HR's over!! for the time being but better than nothing.. handed in our proj today.. gosh, that sense of satisfaction is... WOW!!! haha.. but our hard work did pay off!! =)

was in school early today to have lunch with boss (shaun) and ben and of course desheng and serene.. asked them along since they ended class at 11.. so we went opposite to eat and boss was late... haiz.. forever.. and as usual, boss helped me carry my laptop back to school.. haha.. rushed through the final touch-ups of project and i skipped jap lecture.. xiao min said it wasn't impt so i skipped it and concentrated on the project instead.. as a result, boss and ben didn't go for public speaking lect as well.. haha.. we finished just before 2 and went to class.. nearly couldn't find the document and i almost went hysterical! gosh, at that point in time, i was like, wth.. dun play a joke on me at this time.. but thank goodness, gen calmed me down and we found the file with help going to.. BOSS!! haha.. =) transferred the file to boss immediately and to gen.. but my laptop decided to play a joke on me and had an unexpected shutdown just as i was transferring the file to gen.. luckily boss got a copy alr.. if not, i can just cry.. just felt that this wasn't my day today.. but i left school with a happy and relieved face.. =) didn't exactly talked to kai hui and kelly today.. was really anxious over the damn HR project.. think they were going out after school since kai hui was waiting for kelly.. i think even if they asked me along, i wld have said no cause i was really mentally drained out alr.. somehow i just feel the both of them are closer than me with anyone of them.. maybe i'm just thinking too much but owells...

many other things happened as well but shan't go into detail.. now that HR proj is cleared, i can now focus on preparing my mid-sem.. really want to do well this sem as usual.. lol.. my grades can't drop.. oh! i just remembered.. YNPS called me this afternoon to go in and teach but i couldn't.. the lunch grp looked surprised to know that i do relief teaching and ben still could ask me 'aye, who you talking to? talk until so soft..' lol.. and BOSS started to tease me over an old man incident we saw today in relation to my PS impromptu yesterdae.. haiz.. wadever lah.. but i really must say, boss is very nice!! ok, shall end here.. maybe another update tmr.. =)

blog first before I start going after peeps thru sms abt HR.. lol.. afterall, I'm hungry and I can't work on a hungry stomach.. haha.. so anyway, here's my day:

had finance tut this morning but was feeling very tired.. dunno why too... but just felt tired.. maybe cause i woke up at 4.30 and couldn't sleep till half an hour later.. boss didn't turn up cause he slept at 5 am after watching soccer.. dots sia.. but haha.. had finance lect after that and the LT was super packed.. was supposed to save seat for yee sin and gang but nope, in the end i sat with gen and gang (desheng, yong sing, gen, melvin etc..) and maybe it was a good thing i sat with gen cause she wasn't feeling well and i went to look for her to make sure she's ok.. haha... and ben? haha.. i think he wasnt in a good mood today.. lol.. maybe cause of HR or he woke up on the wrong side of his bed and left the house late to only be late for class.. and he smsed me to sae he wld be late lah.. lol.. can never understand why he nv sms desheng or yong sing instead but me.. strange.. and in case u peeps are wondering, no, ben is not my cup of tea.. haha.. oh! and smth happened during lect and i wanna tell her: i'm sorry.. i didn't mean it.. (you will know who you are.. (: )

had jap tut and PS tut just now as well.. wasn't concentrating on jap today.. mood wasn't that happy until i got a hug frm angeline.. lol.. was supposed to meet boss to go for class but he went to desheng's hse and asked if i wanted to go over.. long story but i guess this was one reason why i felt down.. after that was impromptu assessment.. i think i did pretty ok.. and according to boss and tutor, i did great, considering that my topic was smth that i never experienced before.. lol.. :) my mood was happier after that.. haha.. couldn't decide whether or not to clash french lecture but i'm somehow glad i didn't cause it just started to rain!! ahhh!! lol.. so no, i came home after class.. tired.. wanting to do the formatting and editing for the report to be handed in tmr but no, boss didn't send me.. haiz.. lol..

i guess comparing my grp and kai hui's grp, i guess i like my grp more! cause i think up to now, we're all being so co-operative.. haha.. owells.. anyway, meeting at 11 tmr to go for lunch with the grp and talk abt the proj.. hehe.. boss wanted to meet at 12 but i said cannot cause not sure whether within 1 hr, i could finish the editing and formatting but heehee, lunch.. hmm.. lol.. and i asked him to see if desheng want to join us since he got lesson till 11.. lol.. haha.. i'm such a funny secretary.. lol.. ok, i'm not making any sense now.. tata!! :)

once again, i'm saying this: i've been blogging real often despite being busy with the damn HR project but i'm glad to say, it's ending soon!! this week!! yeah!! at least i'm free from all HR projects till after holidays.. haha.. :)

anyway, waited for kelly this morning at bus entrance.. kai hui was late so we went to class first.. saw desheng but no, he didn't wait with me.. but kelly came just after he left, saying 'hi.. i go first..' lol.. haha.. spent quite some time with him today as well.. read on and you'll know why.. :) my, i was sooo forgetful today.. didn't bring my thumbdrive for MBS.. haha.. i forgot to put it back into my bag after printing my jap stuff.. so i copied from kelly.. btw, access is starting to bore me.. but since when does computer stuff interest me..?? haha.. owells.. went for HR after that.. it wasn't really a lecture.. had the electives talk.. and oh!! corp comm can be taken with marketing or tourism.. so i guess my 1st 2 choices will be that but just dunno which one to put first.. lol.. will talk to mum about it.. :S left halfway cause the 3 girls were hungry.. super hungry.. needless to say, the 3 girls refer to me, kelly and kai hui.. lol.. so we went biz park to eat before lazing around at biz sch and library with kelly's HR grp and kai hui while i waited for my proj discussion to start..

had quite a bit of fun and laughing today.. kai hui, desheng and melvin sat in and kept my grp company... lol.. we were laughing and talking awae and discussing abt class outing next week.. and smth happened to deshang that made me and gen laugh until our tummies ached.. lol.. overall, i won't say today's proj discussion was productive.. it didn't seem to.. mayb cause the 3 was there and we all didn't really have the mood to do HR.. we're meeting again tmr to finish up everything.. hopefully we can.. after that was BOE and as usual, boring.. time was spent chatting awae and laughing awae and discussing abt next week's class outing to movies and dinner after class.. and like what i told kai hui, i foresee that there will be some people whom we don't want to see go.. but, it's ok.. so long as i've got kai hui and kelly, i'm happy.. cause got company.. lol.. while we were in the lift in sch, melvin pulled my rubber band and being me, i screamed.. lol.. he's such an ass and he kept moving towards me and deshang cause i was in the centre of both of them.. lol.. dunno what he's thinking.. and i guess i can never understand guys just like how guys can never understand girls.. lol..

a lot of things to write but don't wanna make it a long post.. some things are meant to be kept in my heart.. tmr will be another long day.. hopefully i'll have no problem sleeping till morning.. my sleepless yet tired nights are back.. tata.. :))

whee!! went out today with my dear fren.. sad, din take any pics with my phone but we took neoprints.. had lunch with her too.. haiz.. all forgot to take pic.. haha.. but nevertheless, this post will be a picture post.. here's the pics i took today before and after i got home!! :)

what i wore out today.. quite happy with my outfit.. haha.. was wearing a white halter with a grey tube inside with a brown jacket.. lol.. :) the following pics were taken when i got home.. haha.. the clothes i bought.. lol..

my cookie monster shirt which i got.. bought a total of 3 shirts and this was one which angeline chose for me.. haha.. next...

i like this shirt.. simple and the words.. haha.. 'hand over the chocolate and nobody gets hurt..' haha..

this shirt came free with my other 2 shirts.. haha.. elmo.. lol.. cute.. :) lastly, is a dress that i bought (under the persuasion of angeline and the boss).. showed xiao min the pic and she agreed to say it was revealing.. but lol, i'm not wearing just like that.. it'll be matched with a tube and a sweater.. otherwise, i think my parents will faint.. lol.. here's the pic:

well, i do agree it's revealing cause it's a halter.. but this dress is indeed nice!! lol.. :) haha.. so that wrapped up my day for today at bugis with angeline.. will most prob go out with her again for dinner next week or another day out after our tests..lol.. :)

anyway, tmr's dinner with the group.. i guess i'm looking forward to it cause it's the first time i'm having dinner with my oh-so-nice classmates! and i mean it.. this class is really a lovely bunch but 1B08 is never forgotten.. :) to end off, i decided to type this: i may like him but i feel more comfortable and happy being friends with him for now.. who knows what will happen in future?? but for now, i like this friendship we have btw us.. :)

I'm having a splitting headache again.. owells.. anyway, tmr's dinner is cancelled.. instead, it's on tuesday after school.. most prob a movie followed by dinner at tm.. lol.. looking forward to it.. i guess it's only the 3 girls and mayb 3-4 guys.. but i think it'll be more guys than girls cause it's only kelly, kai hui and me.. the 3 gals.. lol.. but really, i'm looking forward to it.. so this means not having dinner on tuesday nite.. will just tell mum having dinner with classmates.. lol.. anyway, i realise sometimes i'm at a loss without him.. is this love? i dunno.. but i guess for now, it's best for us to stay as frens.. :)

I realised I have indeed blogged a lot this week despite being super busy with school work and to the extent that I forgot to plan lesson for class this week.. but nevertheless I think my blog has become a 'place' where I can say what I wanna say and how I feel towards things.. with S.H.E's song playing in the background while i'm typing this, i think this post will once again be a long post..

anyway, let's start off with last night first.. chatted with him for an hour or so through sms.. contents of our conversation, I think I choose to keep it a secret here.. maybe I will tell a friend or 2 but I just feel that what we talked about yesterday night was something very.. personal, especially at the end of our conversation at midnight.. I said something which I regretted saying and so I just said it was my sister who did it.. although I had the intention of letting him know, I changed my mind cause to me now his friendship matters more.. owells.. but one thing I felt glad was that unlike the last one, I think he won't take it seriously so I guess things will return to normal.. having to be in the same class as him and knowing him as a friend, I'm glad already.. :) although we may never end up in the same class again, but at least I've got his contact?? and I think as friends, it's normal to meet up and have a meal occasionally, right?? :)

anyway, back to church stuff.. class party next week!! gosh, I foresee a mess.. lol.. oh, and according to nat, auntie evelyn will be taking over as level rep instead.. I'm maybe just a little disappointed.. but I think it's good.. at least I can focus on my studies better than to worry over church.. but I think once I'm done with my studies, they may make me level rep.. but owells, that leaves things to come.. hopefully auntie evelyn takes the post as level rep up.. haha.. then i don't have to worry so much.. haha.. but again, btw me and nat, I've helped her along.. now that auntie evelyn may be taking over, I'll just assist her lor.. haha.. trains me anyway.. haha.. :) ok, I think I'll stop here.. will update again tonite if there's anything for me to update... :)

I'm bored.. dead bored.. i'm still contemplating whether or not to have dinner outside.. i think even if i don't have it with kai hui and grp, i may have dinner with angeline.. lol.. how how how?? i have no idea.. lol.. btw, i think my mum is thinking that i've got a boyfriend.. lol.. why do i say so? cause usually she never asks me who i'm going out with and go where.. ok, maybe sometimes.. but when i said i was going shopping with angeline on monday, the next thing she said was where are you going and with who.. dots.. lol.. now u understand why i think this way.. :S

slept in till 11 plus this morning.. it has been quite some time since i slept in until this late.. was talking to angeline on the phone this morning after i woke up.. was discussing about going out on vesak day.. that girl wants to go to bugis street so most prob we'll end up gg bugis on monday.. just finished talking to kai hui online.. well, she asked if me and kelly are interested to meet up for dinner on monday with melvin and him.. i said i don't mind.. afterall, i'm going out and will be near town area.. but timing not confirm yet.. she said either after 6pm or after 9pm.. so i did tell her that if it's after 9pm, i can't cause i guess mum and dad won't be very happy.. and next day still got school.. so owells, shall just wait for confirmation frm her..

told my cousin abt him yesterday.. she thinks he's jealous that i was talking to someone else.. if you ask me how i think, i don't know cause i'm at a loss on how to make facts right.. and rgd monday's dinner with them, kelly can't make it.. not sure if i'll still be going.. don't wanna make things even more obvious.. told her about the good night msg i sent.. she asked if i was making things obvious? well, if you ask me.. i would say yes but this beats telling him directly better, rite?? i mean, he's not stupid so he may catch some clues and stuff.. but owells, i'm thinking negatively already to prepare myself for the worse.. otherwise it'll be even worse if history repeats itself, rite? but for now, i'm letting nature take its course.. many frens have told me things and yes, i do listen to them but the choice is mine and so long as i'm happy with the choice i make, does it matter?? :)

overall, i'll just let things as it is.. i'll just be my ownself and not bother about what others think.. if i'm happy with the way i'm living and how i'm handling things, why should i let what others think bother me? but whatever they tell me, i'll listen as advices.. i'm happy as it is to be frens with him.. if he wishes to be more than frens with me, he'll react in some way or another.. but for now, being happy is most important.. :)

I realised i've been blogging very long posts these days but heehee.. it's happy stuff that i blog about.. or at least i'm blogging cause i'm feeling happy.. :)

i think i said it just now and i want to say it again.. kai hui's boss, melvin, has been suan-ing me since tues until now... it has never been like that the past few weeks and it only started this week.. suan until today.. sickening sia.. i think its partly resulted frm THEIR conversation on tues at level 6.. =.= maybe kai hui and kelly knows wad i'm talking about.. damn irritating.. as though he has something against me.. argh!! the more he suans me like that, the more i think that they were indeed talking about me on tues at level 6.. i mean, helloz?? out of the blue and you start suan-ing me like that.. a bit wierd rite?? and i did realise the 2 of them have been behaving wierdly (out of class) everytime i'm around since tues.. hopefully it'll stop.. haha.. but owells.. keeping things neutral..

anyway, mum and pat's gonna be away frm the 25th to the 29th may.. heehee.. anyone wanna ask me out for dinner after school?? and i'm looking for activity to do on 26th.. anyone interested pls let me know, k?? heehee.. that implies to my 2 Ks in school.. :) love you peeps.. *hugs* anyway, see you peeps ard.. will blog again when i'm bored or when i'm in a happy mood.. :)

blog a while before i continue with my work.. lol.. was in school today for project meeting.. my boss, shaun, was super early.. even before i could leave my house, he smsed me saying he was in school already.. lol.. and he was super high today.. kept talking and talking and talking.. haha... before project started, met xiao min to pass her the chocs i bought yesterday.. before she arrived, shaun was so nice to wait with me and he helped me carry my laptop.. and he asked me whether i was waiting for my boyfriend.. and i was like '=.=, no, i'm SINGLE'.. haha.. and i emphasised on the word single somemore.. lol.. but really, boss was super high and lame today.. lol.. the others started arriving from 10 onwards and we got down to business... this was wad we completed today: we completed the introduction for the report!! :) at least, i'm more at ease now.. peer teaching notes more or less done.. just have to wait for ben and miao feng to send me their copies so i can compile with the other notes.. :) overall, the report is finally moving.. i'm so at ease.. :)

we managed to finish by 12.45p.m?? yah, cause gen and boss went for lunch and tricia left.. was in the project room doing some jap stuff while waiting for kai hui to help me look through my draft for my jap presentation in 2 weeks' time.. she actually smsed me asking me where i was and that the guys wanted to eat.. so i told her that i was at the library and she could come after the guys have finished eating.. so i waited for her.. the moment her boss, melvin, saw me, he kept suan-ing me lah... diaoz.. non-stop sia.. so when i passed kai hui her chocs, he was like 'why she got, we dun have...' diaoz.. do i actually need a reason for giving frens chocolates?? lol.. one reason why i asked kai hui to come later with her group was so that i could see him longer... haiz.. but we didn't really talked..

left after kai hui said my draft should be ok.. so went to look for yee sin, da jie and angeline.. some things happened and i went back to the proj room to put my stuff and laptop.. before gg back to look for them.. haha.. after running up and down business school, i finally went back to get my things before leaving for home.. as usual, melvin suan me again.. offered them food but they didn't want.. noticed that he was looking at me (maybe for a while...??) but looked away when i turned and face him for a few secs.. owells.. i think melvin has something against me sia.. stupid melvin.. =.=

anyway, towards him, i've chosen to think of the negative side that he has nothing for me until some things figure out on their own.. i mean this way, i don't have high hopes towards this and at least i won't get too hurt someday.. but like what i agree with da jie is that being frens for now is better than nothing.. at least it's better this way and i have his contact so it's easy to keep in touch.. and we only known each other for 4 weeks so i'm taking things easy.. who knows for sure that maybe one day, me and him would end up tgt, and starting as frens?? nobody knows.. ok, end of this long long post.. it's time to get back to work.. :)

i felt a need to blog?? oh, i don't know.. just felt like blogging.. schooled today as usual.. went for jap lecture followed by public speaking lecture.. but the PS lecture didn't turn up so there was no lecture.. wth.. I had an hour so went to print and photocopy HR notes for myself and the gals.. but in the end, a fellow classmate took kelly's copy cause she had hers already.. couldn't really blame her cause i didn't tell her i photocopied a set for her.. but thank goodness, someone took her copy.. lol..

after that from 11 to 2 was project.. somehow slacked in the library while the other groups were doing work.. haha.. by 12 plus, i was a bit high and so i went to talk to kai hui and kelly, finding out how they were doing.. and yup, i was super happy during that time till lecture.. although we didn't chat much, but we still talked.. haha.. so yup, i was happy.. :) after project was lessons and as usual, boring..

anyway, keep having headaches the last few days.. not sure whether it's due to the hot weather or because of HR project.. just felt like banging my head against the wall.. lol.. ok, enough of school.. let's talk something more... personal?? haha...

i won't say their guess is wrong.. maybe they're even right.. right that i'm falling for him?? well, i don't know.. but just seeing him makes me happy.. the same feeling i had for the ex-crush last year.. but this time, it was even worse.. i didn't sleep well last night, even with the aircon.. my whole mind was quite active even when it was drawing close to 1 and the only thing that was on my mind was him.. i think this is bad.. i dunno.. just my feelings.. but one thing i know may be for sure is that, yes, i could be falling for him.. :S

kai hui said the 2 guys in her grp was talking about me and kelly.. but he said no.. i choose to believe my dear fren cause why would she lie to me over such things?? and if they didn't talk about me and kelly, why didn't they dare to let kai hui know when she asked them?? see, it doesn't make sense does it?? well, come to think positively, maybe it was a good thing if they were talking about us.. at least he noticed.. well, that's maybe for sure.. :S

no matter whether or not they were indeed talking about us, i'm currently taking things one step at a time.. although i really wish i could let him know but no, i don't want history to repeat itself again this year.. i'm just keeping things the way it is for now.. hopefully, at the end of this sem or at the end of year 2, i'll have good news for my dear frens... :)

hey peeps!! this post will be for a fren in school.. specially for her...

to Kai Hui:
dearest fren, we just became frens a few weeks ago but i feel we've known each other for years.. not that i know a lot about you but in the feeling we get along so well that even those in class think the 3 of us have been friends for soooo long.. i know ur blog alr (through friendster.. heehee..) and i read your posts starting frm april this year.. maybe you can't remember but i still will have to say this... i'm so sry i left you waiting for me for abt 1/2 hr for the finance make-up lecture that friday and then i told you to go in and find a seat instead.. i really didn't mean to so i say sorry for making you pissed off that day.. :)

dun worry.. i will still continue to tease you abt superman but yah, i wun force you to be friends with him.. but i guess you were happy when we saw him that day when he lent his access book to kelly.. haha.. maybe it's a good thing for the 3 of us not to be in the same group.. at least we can complain to each other about our group members without having to hurt the feelings of any one of us.. dun u think so??

oh! and i'm sorry for not telling you directly that he was my eyecandy.. because i don't want to make things too awkward for him and myself that's why i chose to keep it a secret.. but now that you ad Kelly know about it, i trust you two to keep it a secret for me.. even though he may have found out something and you've got a responsibility!! to find things out abt me from him.. haha.. i'm kidding but i don't mind if you wanna do it.. heehee..

the 3 of us will be the best of frens in 2B01.. you, me and kelly!! like what kelly says, we're the 3 muskateers of 2B01.. haha.. there are many things which i wanna share but hey, let's take a step at a time, yeah? we'll get to know each other more as time pass by and yup, we'll be the best of frens!! even if next sem we can no longer be in the same class, we'll still meet up and have fun, yeah?? :) you and kelly will forever be the frens i remember from 2B01.. :) *hugs*

it's just the start of a new school year.. this resulted in a new crush.. i think i like him.. or at least he has become my eyecandy.. it's too early to say.. well at least for now, i just want to get to know him better.. i've been hurt once and just somehow recovered frm that 'injury'.. i don't want to get injured again.. i dreamt of him last night.. i have no intention of telling him anything yet.. afterall, i can't really confirm i like him but at least maybe he has really become my eyecandy.. i hate the thought of being brokenhearted again.. at least for now, i can keep it in my heart about how i feel about him.. at least i can save myself frm some heartbreaks.. at least i can see him without having to feel awkward.. at least no one knows about my feelings for him.. and dear friends, it's not that same guy.. it's a different guy.. a totally different guy.. a much better looking guy.. and this other guy just had to melt my heart and even i, myself, am not sure whether it's just a illusion.. whether i truly like him or not or am i just looking for some male company.. but like what the gals say, he's indeed much more good-looking and that my taste has improved.. i'm seeking for answers rgd him.. but i know one thing for sure, i'm not going to tell him anything this time round.. i'm not going to repeat my mistake last year.. never.. this shall most probably be kept as a secret until the end of the semester?? owells.. i don't know.. :S

project on wednesday wasn't as bad as what i thought.. we had quite a bit of fun laughing and stoning and deciding on what to do when we got stuck.. overall, i think this grp will be better than what i expect.. haha..

anyway, met up with the gals today for lunch.. haha.. it was nice meeting up with them.. exchanged a lot of chats and info.. oh!! i so miss them lots.. saw angeline and ming li as well too.. that girl gave me a teddy bear just when i was having lesson.. was quite shocked to see her and my classmate was giving a speech lah when i left the classroom.. but when i went back, it was time to go.. lol.. so was the first one to left class to chat with her.. heehee.. bumped into so many 1B08 ppl today!! yuan hao, justin, cherlyn, cheryl, ming li etc.. haha.. i just so missed these ppl lots and the 6 of us were finally united for a while!! haha.. it was so like last year.. and i think we were screaming each time we saw someone from 1B08.. haha.. but yah, i miss those times.. haha.. ok, i think i'd stop here.. talking to cousins online.. dun feel like blogging anymore.. the momentum is broken.. haha.. :)

shucks.. tmr is project day.. meeting up to do HR project.. sian sia.. just dun feel like doing with this grp but owells, can't help it.. i have to do with them no matter what.. but i guess i'll just bear with this HR grp.. afterall, it's only for one semester.. haha.. owells.. there's Jap lecture tmr morning at 9.. but i'm not going.. will be going for the friday one instead with xiao min and angeline.. so at least i got company and can do nice catching up with angeline.. btw, i met her today after MBS lecture.. haha.. i miss that dear girl lots.. :( well, i miss all my dearies lots.. lol.. nvm, thursdays coming!! it's meeting up with them again.. I'll be looking forward to thursday but not to wednesday and HR tutorials on fridays.. drats.. lol.. ok, i'll end off here.. short post for today.. off to bed soon... lol.. nites!! :)

sob sob sob sob sob.. lol.. (ok, that was contradicting...) although i'm having quite a bit of fun with 2B01, i can't help missing 1B08.. and i know i'm not the only one.. the gals miss 1B08 too... yee sin, jacelyn and i guess the other 3 as well... these is what i miss about them:

i miss having lessons with them, both lecture and tutorials.. i miss having lunch with them during the breaks, where we sometimes can't make up our minds on where to eat and what to eat.. i miss the picnics we have during lectures, where we sit at the back and munch on snacks, especially those boring lectures like OB... i miss talking nonsense during tutorials and laugh at nonsensical things.. i miss sitting at the back of the tutorial class and discuss work, talk about non-school related stuff and gossip about other matters... i miss the fun we have during lectures when Angeline would occasionally draw on our notes and where we wld go crazy and require Dr. Tan to 'prescribe appointment letters' for us.. i miss the times where we wld call each other up on the phone and ask questions rgd tutorials and exam.. i miss those long chats and convos we had while discussing a big issue or just having a casual chat.. i miss the times we used to have as a grp and as a class...

although there are even more misses, i guess life will still have to continue.. i may have my doubts on having close friendships with some in 2B01, but i know i'll never forget the times i had with the other 5 gals frm 1B08.. i miss them lots... :)

the 2nd week of school has just come and went.. by the end of 2nd week, i've got 2 project grps.. one with kelly and kai hui.. another with totally new classmates.. i'm having mixed and wierd feelings about working with my HR mgmt project grp.. dun ask me why.. i just dunno.. the finalised grps were confirmed by drawing lots.. and initially, my grp was confirmed already.. but nononono!!! some ppl in class just had to say, let's draw lots to get to know each other better... :S

i'm not saying i'm against drawing lots to decide project groups.. but i just personally feel that it's important to be comfortable with the people u're working with for that project.. and yes, it seems i'm not very comfortable working with them.. maybe cause i'm not in the same grp as kel and kai hui bah?? but then again, the pros to working with new people is yes, you get to mix around with the people in your class.. 2ndly, it's easier to complain to ur own close frens about the people in your grp.. haha.. and of course 3rdly, when you eventually go out to work, you can't choose the people you want to work with.. so in some way or another, you're working with people with different working styles.. haha.. ok, pls tell me to continue to think that way.. haha...

owells.. haven been exactly in a very good mood since yesterday.. maybe cause i'm just received a PRESENT.. and maybe because of COW.. owells.. she told me i need not feel bad because COW is indeed good-looking.. haiz.. well, i know my limits so i won't push things too far.. haha.. ok, write up to here.. it's a long post for today... :)

I won't betray my friend's trust so I won't fall for him.. I hope I don't.. I managed to prevent myself from falling into another pit the last time.. I hope I can prevent myself from falling in again cause i know I'm not his kind.. but it's hard to say.. afterall, we used to be in the same class and I had a little feelings for him... but i don't want to lose her as my friend.. so i'll try not to fall again.. he's her eyecandy... i'm her friend.. i treasure her friendship.. now that i don't see him, will i get over him and help her win her eyecandy?? i really don't know.. i don't want to fall again.. or at least, not yet... :S

last post for the month of april.. haha... anyway, i'm in school now, rotting away, waiting for my next lesson which is at... 11a.m. after that followed by a 3 hour break again... sian.. was supposed to have HR mgmt tutorial but was cancelled again.. and i only have an hour lesson at 4... dots.. will be bored to death again.. haha... YNPS called me just now again to ask me to do relief teaching.. but as i said, i have got lesson.. even if i don't have, i end at 1.. how to do relief?? haiz... i miss teaching kids... i'm having an after-effect from teaching.. haha... there goes my extra 1 day pay.. oh, they called me yesterday as well.. so it should be, there goes my extra 2 day pay.. haiz... sad sad... :( but nvm, i've got more chances in future... lol... ok, off i go stoning... lol... bye! :)

worked today again.. heehee.. had fun but tiring.. but even then, i still love relief teaching!! :) seems that from now onwards, i'll be working on mondays if the schools need me... lol.. haha.. anyway, yup yup, new start to a new week.. i'm already a bit cui le after today.. haha.. hopefully i'll get my energy back.. looking forward to a quick break during the week as well!! heehee.. labour day of course!! i guess many of us are indeed looking forward to this break, huh?? owells... i smsed K this evening after i reached home, asking her about plans for tmr's break.. apparently, she's spending it with KH.. i'm starting to feel left out.. in the sense that she didn't ask if i wanted to join her.. ok, maybe i'm just being over-sensitive.. but i hate to be left out without giving 'prior notice'.. i mean, like when i was planning to have lunch with my ex-classmates on thursdays during the 1-hr break, at least i told her beforehand so she could choose to either plan her own break or have the choice of lunching with us.. well, at least i invited her.. not that she doesn't know the gals.. owells.. maybe i'm really just being over-sensitive.. lol.. pls tell me i'm thinking too much and i wun feel left out in this new class.... =S

I wanted to blog... but now, I've forgetten what i wanted to blog about.. gosh, i think i'm going to suffer frm senile dementia in future.. can't remember recent happenings.. *gasps*

yes yes.. i survived the 1st week of school.. FYI, i'm actually supposed to be in school, taking part in some business day event for all Yr 2s in dip in business but no, i didn't attend.. i'm at home.. lol.. but it seems it's part of APEL.. so yes, i skipped one tutorial lesson for APEL already.. btw, i'm not the only one.. heehee.. ok, back to the topic.. yes, i survived the 1st week of school... made some new friends but not very close to them yet.. however, me and two other gals, kai hui and kelly, would meet up and go for class tgt.. so it's a good thing?? well.. will get to know the others in class more.. :)

although i made new frens in class, i miss my 1B08!! i miss having lessons with them and having picnics during lecture.. although i still see some of them like xiao min, yee sin and rachel, i still miss them during tutorials!! lol.. but i'm glad to know that we'll all still keep in touch with each other.. for e.g, i made a deal with jacelyn, xiao min and yee sin to have lunch tgt on thursdays since they clash my lecture and after that we all have an hour's break.. of course, the group will increase cause i'll include sherlyn as well occasionally bah? lol.. so thursdays are my meeting days with them!! :)

wad about me and him?? owells.. i was talking to sherlyn the other day after jap and our topic was him.. she told me wad daphne and the others were telling him, to give me a chance.. haha... to me, he's hurt me badly.. at this point in time, i only see him as a fren.. no more than a fren, purely because he hurt me badly. i dun wanna get hurt again in the meantime.. so i guess i won't be looking for any guys yet.. but maybe one or two will catch my eye.. but towards him, even if he does heed daphne's advice and give me a chance, chances are i may not accept him because of what happened in the past and he's accepting me not on his own free will but because of wad others has told him.. even without him, i believe i will live my life better.. i will prove to show him that it's his loss, not mine although i know his main intention.... and we were talking about some other stuff about me and him... all not very convenient to say it here lah.. but what i just said above is the general conclusion... lol..

geeks, this post seems long huh?? lol.. too many thoughts and happenings this week alr.. well, there were more happenings but heehee, won't be able to jot everything down here.. btw, i was a little unwell this week.. and school has just started.. lol.. this is sure BAD!! anyway, i bumped into hui yee 3 times this week already and it was all coincidental.. haha.. owells.. ok, this is such an abrupt ending to my post.. lol.. :)

yeah!! tmr's 23rd apr!!! getting paid tmr.. although it was only for last monday (for the time being until 8th may...), but nevertheless, i'm still being paid!! yeah!!! haha... so exciting!! lol.. anyway, i officially started school today... and yes, i made new frens like kelly (tx to xiao min...).. and rite, i survived day 1 with him in class.. gosh.. thank goodness no one in 2B01 knows my relationship with him otherwise i guess the teasing will never end.. haha... so let's say i start my life anew.. maybe cause so far, i'm the only old fren he knows, we still talk to each other and surprisingly, more than before.. haha, maybe u'll think it's a joke but hey, no, i'm not joking.. lol.. owells, i'm sure i'll be able to survive year 2 sem 1 with frens like kelly.. i think i'll end up calling her kel.. lol.. anyway, morning lecture tmr.. but it's jap!! looking forward to it... heehee... will update again soon... p.s: i think i'm down with a sore throat.. :(

finally have the time and energy to blog.. lol.. anyway, let's start frm friday.. went to the doc to get my stitches removed but sadly, no, it hasn't fully recovered when i thought it was... the wound near the joint didn't heal back.. so i was on bandage again for 2 more days... waited quite long just to remove the stitches and i had to rush home to have lunch before reporting to school.. haha.. in all, i earned $194 this week after deducting $1 for some chinese association?? lol..

went to the other side of singapore on saturday to pay respects to my late grandparents.. basically, my family went qing ming on saturday afternoon.. the sun was super hot.. stopped by macs at yishun for ice-cream before coming home.. went out about an hr later.. was meeting angeline for dinner and k box.. heehee.. we went marina square where they had buffet and k singing there.. quite worth it but i think the both of us didn't sing enough.. haha.. i still had songs i wanted to sing.. will go back some other day again.... was home late.. mum called at 10.50p.m to check where i was... by the time i reached home, it was 11.15... and i took a cab back (by the way) from bedok inter cause there was no bus!! lol... could have reached home earlier if i took a cab instead and had not decided to wait for the bus..

a result from last nite's late night out: super sleepy in church.. and a super high catechism teacher in class.. haha.. the kids are not high, but the teacher is.. haha.. and yes, that teacher is me.. lack of sleep lah.. ever since i entered poly, i'm so used to having a minimum of 8 hours of sleep.. so yes, with only 7 hours of sleep, i was damn tired.. lol.. had piano.. came home and sleep after that.. my eyes literally couldn't open.. gosh.. =O

anyway, tmr's the start of a new year.. gosh, i feel so old.. i'm senior to the Yr 1s.. haha.. remember last year when i started school.. had some problems but.. i'm glad i got them!! haha.. they know who they are lah, rite??!! there's no lessons for me tmr but i'm going back with sherlyn and a few others to settle some subjects stuff and admin work.. will be doing my binding of BOE notes and settling my lappy.. haha.. after that, most probably have lunch with them unless KCP calls early and i decide to go in and earn myself another $65.. lol..owells.. i can only say, i'm not really prepared to start school because i'm 'hooked onto' relief teaching and partly cause of him...

i just needed to blog today.. haiz.. got back my timetable.. i was supposed to be excited but after knowing he would be in my class, i was a little upset.. why?? just when i thought that he could be out of my life after last sem and start my love life anew this sem, the school just had to post him to my class.. if he didn't change course from marketing to business, i wouldn't have ended up in the same class as him.. haiz.. i'm quite bothered by this.. we're now STILL classmates this semester again.. when i told the others, they were quite shocked and some even felt i was being unlucky.. sherlyn said she didn't know whether i should be happy or sad and whether she should be happy or sad for me.. in my point of view, i ought to be sad.. i mean, now that we're in the same class again, i can't really guarantee that my feelings for him won't come back... i can't say that i won't fall for him again.. i just really wish he can get out of my sight man... haiz.. bothered man..

anyway, overall, my timetable's quite ok.. got one free day.. yes, ting and tracy, dun be jealous.. haha.. quite a number of hours for break on tuesday and wednesday.. seems for the 1st few weeks, i'll be coming home for lunch and to rest after class till i've settled down with my new class and when projects start to come in.. lol.. hopefully i'll make new friends real soon!! ok, let's being mean for once.. maybe i hope that someone is alone in class this sem and i can make frens with her.. lol.. this class isn't going to know the relationship between me and... btw, i've been working.. today and tmr.. going in the afternoon to relief a teacher.. i love the afternoon sessions more than the morning sessions.. heehee... and good news: stitches removed tmr!! yeah!! :)

hey peeps!! i guess it's become a habit for me to blog once every two days.. not sure if this will continue when school starts or not but owells, studies come first.. anyway, went out today.. nono, not relief teaching but an outing with Godma.. :)

received Godma's sms this morning and i thought since i'm free at home, why not meet up with her since we've been trying to meet ever since i started my holidays till now.. so yup, met up with her.. headed to her house to meet her before going to east coast park for a walk.. it has been some time since i went to the beach so naturally, i enjoyed the breeze and the walk.. we walked for abt 45 mins to 1 hour before going to starbucks for a small snack.. heehee.. as usual, she treated me to starbucks.. lol.. it was quite fulling so didn't have dinner when i came home.. oh, she sent me back to her place and i took a bus back from church since it was more convenient for her that way.. heehee.. i guess i was a little tired out from the walk that i slept a while in the bus.. lol.. what did we talk about? lol.. family, school.. everything.. lol.. I love this Godma of mine.. :) a very nice lady who would give me advice on life and sent me emails about religious issues.. :) she sure helped me improve my faith in Catholism.. haha...

anyway, timetable will be out tmr!! so excited.. can't wait to know who's in my class.. haha.. i'm just hoping i end up in the same class as sherlyn but owells.. low chance bah?? gonna turn on my lappy and the PC at home so that i can print out my timetable and compare with other people.. and easier for me to type out my own style.. lol... can't wait.. and btw, seems that we've only got 5 subjects including CDS.. lol.. i guess this semester wun be that stressful and packed afterall.. :)

before i start on my day, argh!! my timetable will only be out on thursday... and i think next week, 1st wk of sch, i've got 3-4 tutorials!! ahh.. this is sooooo crazy and insane.. argh.. i'm so gonna die due to the stress, increased workload and the projects.. and i hope i choose the correct project mates this sem.. dun want a repeat of what happened last sem to happen again..

ok, anyway, i was finally being called to do relief teaching by my old school just on my last wk of holidays!! how nice.. but nevertheless, i've started my teaching experience.. a long story about today.. too lazy to type it out here.. but i've enjoyed myself today back in school with the familiar faces of the old teachers.. and it was nice of them to remember me, this old girl.. i missed those days in the basement, in the canteen etc.. a lot of memories came back.. lol.. how i missed those days.. :) but it sure was fun.. this just somehow made me more determined to go into teaching after i finished poly.. sounds silly but.. heehee.. i enjoy doing this job.. gosh, first time you hear marianne saying she enjoys her job.. lol.. but of course, with kids, i enjoy any job even though i may and will face obstacles in future.. but with my love for kids and my enjoyment for teaching, heehee.. i guess it's worth it.. and like what mum says, the $65 earned today is worth it although it was tiring.. :) i love kids, i love teaching, i guess i love my life too.. :)

latest update abt my hand.. haha.. for those who wanna know, dun worry.. my hand is recoving well.. the elbow hurts a little occasionally but is quite itchy.. according to mum, she says that if it's itchy, it means that the wound is healing.. so i guess it really is healing and doing fine.. so not to worry!! i was brave enough to take a look at the elbow yesterday when i went back for my checkup and dressing.. i thought it was 5 stiches.. but heehee, i was wrong.. it's 3 stiches only.. so i guess it's not too bad.. at least the cyst is removed once and for all and it won't get bigger already.. lol.. my doctor said everything's going well.. just have to keep the wound clean.. will be back at the doctor again next saturday to remove the stiches.. lol.. not going to see!! btw, i think i scared my frens off with the sudden bandage of my hand.. haha.. anyway, here's the pictorial form of my hand, starting with day 1:


my hand in bandages just after the surgery at the clinic.. heehee.. it's also the picture i sent to those at home and some close friends.. haha...


this was taken yesterday at home.. after the bandage was removed.. it got me itching.. lol..


heehee.. this was today after i showered.. had to change the dressing and apply my cream.. gross huh?? lol.. my first minor surgery in 2008.. hopefully this will be the last till i have my own child.. haha... u know what i mean.. lol...

anyway, i'm entering my last week of the holidays already! so fast.. although i'm bored at home, with nothing to do, i don't exactly feel like starting school yet.. lol.. well, but i guess that's natural.. but really, i can't wait for timetable to be out.. at least i will then know if i got any friends in the same class as me, be it for core class or the CDS class.. lol.. hopefully i'll end up with someone i know.. heehee... when school start, i guess i'll be blogging lesser and come online less often as well.. not everyday but maybe once in every 2-3 days.. can't help it, but school's more important.. plus projects and tutorials.. oh gosh, how am i ever able to look forward to school??!! lol.. ok, cyaz ard.. :)

take a look at my hand first..



basically, it's a minor surgery i went to remove a cyst on my elbow.. yes, marianne, the girl who is scared of injections, went for a surgery involving needles and the surgery knife.. how nice... somehow i overcome my fear and went for the surgery.. it's just to get rid of the cyst which was irritating me.. lol.. so yes, i'm now injured.. heehee.. not sure how to go round doing my daily activities.. just tying my hair is a problem.. so is changing.. haiz.. going back to the doc to get a new bandage and next saturday to remove the stiches.. yes, my elbow was stiched which means there would be a scar.. to guys out there, if you mind my scar on my elbow, kindly get lost or just go and die.. lol.. more updates when my hand is slightly better... :)

back a few hours ago from grand-godpa's funeral.. tired out.. a lot of things happened recently to those around me and each time an event like that happens, we will only then realise the importance of our family members when faced with experiences with death.. i've been through it once and i know how tired the family of the late can get and the pain they are feeling.. i teared a little today and although we wasn't exactly that close, yet he touched my life in the things he has done and the things he believed.. it has really been tiring for his family members and i pray that with God's mercy, they will continue to stay strong cause i believe, that's what he would want them to be... :) ok, sch's starting in 2 weeks time... drats..

whee!! back abt an hr or so already from my outing with tracy, li ting and fiona.. haha.. had a lot of fun and laughter.. so tired.. enjoyed myself really.. hadn't seen li ting and fiona for very long already!! and we were busy catching up with each other.. lol.. i updated fiona about me and him.. well, even she thinks that he shouldn't have treated me that way a month ago.. but owells, it's really over btw me and him.. dun wish to dwell on him anymore.. even though he's the 1st guy to make me realise how much i like him.. :S overall, i had lotsa of fun today!! read the other gals' blogs to find out more in detailed.. a bit lazy to type out.. heehee... here's some pics for today!!

me just before i left the house!!

me and ting while waiting for our food!! lol...

the 4 of us at BK camwhoring.. haha.. :)

me and fiona on the train back home..

the ending photo to today's outing.. i love this photo a lot!! credits to ting.. :)

short reflection again.. although i happily enjoyed myself today, i couldn't help but reflect on what happened recently in my life.. a lot of things happened recently to my loved ones at home, be it directly or indirectly.. godma and her family were affected and now, i guess dad's been affected.. afterall, that old man was his godpa, was my grand-godpa.. we all would be naturally affected one way or another.. i guess now that he's gone, i will miss the last times i talked to him.. and his asking of which one of us sisters have boyfriend or when are we getting married?? lol.. mum told me a few things about grand-godpa.. how he reacted when he heard ah yi passed away.. how he said that why should the younger generation go first instead of him, an old man.. i guessed he really wanted to return back to God and how ready he was to take his place in Jesus' kingdom.. he left in peace, i guess.. back to his maker... to this old man, i think i really would miss him.. i tot i wouldn't be much affected but i guess i was wrong.. although i have never lived with him, but the encounters with him have made me love this old man dearly and somehow, unknowingly.. really.. but i know that no matter how unwilling we are to let this old man go, we all know that he is happy to return to God, to Jesus and i'm sure ah yi will welcome him back... :)

grand-godpa, you'll be dearly missed by all of us.. we will miss you for sure esp. your own family and daddy.. :)

another event that will be affecting all of us at home again.. grand-godpa passed awae due to old age this morning... hmm.. what should i say other than repeating myself again?? i thought his death came quite sudden.. but we never know what God has in store for us.. just like what happened in the past, we never know when we will be called back to God, our maker.. it can be today, tomorrow, a month later or years later.. we all never know.. but one thing i choose to know is that i trust in God.. that everything he does has a reason.. even taking our loved ones back to HIS home.. therefore, i trust in HIM cause he knows what is best for us...

to end of this post, i asked my mum this question, will the death rate in Singapore increase this year?? lol..

just like what my msn nick says... now i know why they're not calling me.. mum checked out the reason behind to why they're not calling me to go in despite being in need of relief teachers.. all because the school clerk thinks that having to verify records and stuff are all so troublesome.. i wonder if she's just being pure lazy or what.. does having to do verification need so much time?? =.= if all school clerks think like her, i can forget about working as a relief teacher even when it comes to my next long holiday.. i mean it.. drats.. haiz.. what to do??

owells.. we were just talking about working just now while preparing dinner.. lol.. i somehow just feel i don't suit office jobs.. really.. haiz.. really don't know how i'm going to survive my 3 months internship next year.. somehow, this is one of the reasons why i felt i made the wrong choice in studying this course.. but then again, what xiezhi said yesterday on tv just struck a chord in me.. i have never perservered at all in office jobs.. longest just being 3-4 days.. and like what he said, if you never perservered, how do you know if you're meant for that job.. ok, i know i'll end up contradicting myself but i somehow agree with what he actually said.. how do i know if i suit office jobs if i've never tried perservering in office jobs?? but i guess the problem just lies with me.. i know the concept yet i'm not applying it.. i'm just scared that i really don't like what lies in store for me.. yet i can't possibly stay home all day the next long holiday.. doing relief teaching isn't exactly a 'stable' part-time job cause you don't know when they'll call and whether they'll ever call.. office jobs, hmm, maybe i'll consider it when i do my SIP but will it be too late?? cause it's a must to complete my SIP.. will i hang in there?? sales job?? i'm a lazy person.. don't want to go far to work.. would rather work nearby.. if this carries on, i really don't know what to do.. can someone just give me some faith in office jobs?? ahh!! i need help man..

hmm.. another reflection again.. lol.. it seems that being single has an advantage, if you would consider it to be one, would be that you dun have to think about whether or not your other half's parents like you or not or approve to you and him or her being together.. would that be an advantage?? i mean, being single, all it takes is spending more time with your family and nothing major to consider abt rgd relationships but being attached is totally different.. it's more than just spending time not only with ur family but with ur other half, and also getting the approval by both families.. and even getting approval doesn't just mean a full-stop to the problems.. it may just be the beginning only.. owells.. maybe i'm thankful for being single at this point in time.. at least i don't have to worry and think for my partner now.. maybe in the future, i'll be that girlfriend thinking for her boyfriend, worrying for his studies, the approval of his parents etc.. but for now, i'm thankful for the life i'm living now.. :)

blog blog blog!! let's blog abt.. today!! finally met up with dear tracy!! like after 6 months!! *gasps* that's very long lor.. haha... lol.. and she say i become chio bu.. haha.. thank you hor!! lol.. p.s: i actually only started to da ban da ban ever since i entered poly.. haha.. influenced by friends lah.. heehee.. so we went to bugis.. had prawn mee and started our shopping spree.. walked around bugis looking for clothes and shops.. haha... fun but tired and hot!! the result of our shopping spree was super fruitful!! trace got her bag, sweater, shorts, belt etc.. as for me, heehee, i got my new pair of skinny jeans and... my *finally, after so long* jumper!! i so love my jumper!! it's so nice!! and i'm glad i bought it.. hehe... can wear for church, school and even meetings with frens!! haha.. so love it!! :)

took neoprints with tracy too!! gosh, the aircon was just the thing we needed and wanted after shopping at bugis village!! was so hot and sweaty.. we love the aircon at bugis junction after our shopping spree, don't we?? can u believe it?? we went in the afternoon and we got all so hot.. whatsmore at night?? and worse if there's no wind!! haha... then it was camwhore time!! took pics with my phone.. haha.. haiz, dun say anymore.. enjoy the rest of the post with the best pics we took!! :)

we've got a secret but only the two of us know.. lol.. *do we have a secret?? haha...*

i just love this friend to bits!! heehee.. and lastly...

the pic we both like lots!! haha...

anyway, had lotsa of fun with tracy today!! looking forward to next wk with the addition of ting and fiona to the pic!! :)

hmm... sudden reflection again.. got back from a wake not too long ago and well, this post is on my reflection:

it's quite surprising on how we tend to treasure life and those around us after an upset event has happened... we tend to take things for granted.. we do not know how to cherish our loved ones until something happened.. for me, that was something i've learnt abt 1 year and few months back after what happened.. it was a blow to me and that day, i couldn't accept it.. no tears, nothing.. didn't know exactly how i should feel.. and i guess maybe that was how Godma and they felt yesterday?? to them, they may have felt prepared but for us, it wasn't.... godma said this today: 'children, treasure ur parents before it's too late...' this somehow struck a chord in me.. yes, we ought to treasure them before it's too late.. i mean, our parents have done a lot for us, their children, and shouldn't us, being their children, do something for them and treasure them?? it just makes sense doesn't it.. i guess this incident will make me learn again.. learn not to take things for granted and to cherish those around us, parents, siblings or even friends..

i've been through the pain of losing a loved one forever.. i don't want to go through it again.. or at least not at this moment.. i had a bad dream that day.. not a good one.. and i don't want history to repeat itself.. i'm afraid of losing someone else.. i won't know what i'll do if it happens.. but Lord, not at this time yet, ok?? to all my friends: treasure those around you before it's toooo late... treasure and cherish them now and i promise, you won't regret when they leave ur life one day... :)

after a short chat with a fren online, i suddenly had this reflection, not only for myself but also for them, i guess in some way or another...

it makes me happy to know that slowly and gradually, close frens of mine, mostly from sec sch, are getting attached.. whether or not the other half is their mr right, i'm happy for them to have found someone who likes them and they like other than their family members.. for some, they had to go through obstacles and worries before they can be together and for others, they're still experiencing obstacles even after being together for some time already.. however, there are also some who feel that their other half doesn't suit them and end their relationship while others may be having problems within that relationship.. so it actually still mean to say that even after you're together, there are still problems that you will face be it now or in the future.. and even before you can be together, you may have to undergo obstacles first before you can be together.. no matter what, all these problems and obstacles are just testing your love for each other.. although we can let nature take its course, but on the other hand, shouldn't we do some actions to gain our own happiness?? well, that is if you feel that he's the special one for you.. :)

talking about others, what about me? at this point in time, i'm also not very sure.. yes, i've agreed to give him up and let go.. i'm tired of thinking whether or not i'll end up in a relationship with guy A or guy B.. it just tires me out.. but i'm not against meeting new frens of the opposite gender.. it just broadens my social circle and some way or another, increase my chances of getting hitched.. but that is beyond my control.. i'm tired of thinking on the positive side and hurt myself indirectly.. it just feels like a burden to me after all that had happened.. i'm not sure if being in a relationship is what i want now although i know that even if i'm attached, i won't neglect my studies.. but is this what i really want?? i really don't know.. mayb it is, mayb it isn't.. let's hope i just meet that right guy next semester in year 2.. that's all i can wish for, i guess.. but i don't think i'll ever take the initiative to express my feelings again if i'm not sure of how the guy feels towards me.. yes, although i may be brave but i don't wanna get hurt again, if you know what i mean... :)

owells.. hopefully things go smoothly for me and i'll be able to find THE ONE.. will i?? just where is my ONE?? :S

homebound this week.. lol.. one, no money so can't go anywhere.. 2nd, it's Holy Week.. don't wanna go out and be so tired after that.. and ever since i've finished exams, i've been gg out so this week, i shall stay home and be good.. but i'm gg down to TM to get some CATS stuff for TJ lesson.. so yup.. spent quite a lot of money last week.. and gosh, i think the effect of hanging out with angeline is starting to show.. lol.. why?? i've started to spend money on clothes and stuff.. and one thing/clothing i wanna get the next time i'm out shopping would be a new pair of jeans.. and tat would be at bugis street with tracy!! lol.. owe her her present so i'll have to go with her one day to bugis to get it.. and mayb shop for a pair of jeans!! lol.. and i also wanna go k box!! but i guess that would be in another 2 weeks time when i've arranged a time with tracy.. next week seems to be fully packed already.. lol.. here's my schedule for next week, beginning on easter sunday:

sun - GP's birthday celebration, chalet day 1
mon - chalet
tues - neighbourhood mass[evening]
wed - day out with tracy or godma [tentative]
thurs - day out with sherlyn and angeline
fri - day out with tracy or godma [tentative]

see how packed my next week will be?? lol.. owells.. but i'm not so afraid lah.. cause i'll have extra allowance since i'm not gg out this week.. so lol.. heehee.. :)

back from my outing not too long ago.. haiz.. another one tmr.. tummy upset and feeling so tired.. just dun feel like gg.. owells.. will update another day.. :S

got back my results abt 2 days ago.. hmmm.. not that bad i would say but i'm somehow a little disappointed in my results.. i guess i would have mayb scored better for my GPA if it wasn't for my OB grade.. but owells, it's over.. i shall just leave the unhappy memories of year 1 behind and look forward to year 2.. and of course, work harder.. haha..

went out with mama and mum yesterday.. had jap for lunch.. yummy.. eat until quite full.. but went shopping for angeline's present with angel at TM after that and gave angeline a surprise.. haha.. came home, showed pat her present.. and pat asked if i was dating angeline.. lol.. like no way... she's taken by a nice guy and i'm straight.. can't i have very good frens like tracy??!! haha.. it's funny when my sisters ask me such a question.. well, i'm intending to get married and have kids u know?? lol..

will be going out in abt 2 hrs time.. meeting my dear gf.. going shopping with her and have dinner.. but i dun think i'll be home very late tonite.. haha.. owells.. meeting her again tmr with the other gals and i'm somehow not looking towards tmr.. for some reasons but.. owells.. i'm letting go so that i can live better and not because i wanna give them a 2nd chance or smth.. i'm just torturing myself like that.. so why not free myself from all that torture and let go?? haha... in this case, i'm only referring to the 4 gals..

owells.. gotta go offline soon.. need to shower and get ready to go out.. need to go to the bank first.. update my bank book again.. haiz.. poor me.. ok, will update soon again!! :)

hmm.. seems that now my laptop can let me blog, wad did i just say abt blogging more often?? haha.. let's do a late nite post tonite den..

was basically at home the whole day today.. one, the rain just somehow spoilt my mood of gg out.. every time i look at the sky, it alwaes seems to be dark and gloomy.. haiz.. so sian.. but i guess that just doesn't stop me from making plans to go out with best friends.. haha.. meeting angeline on friday and saturday.. friday to celebrate her birthday wif her.. an early celebration on my part lah.. looking forward to our 3rd date together after the holidays have started.. haha.. the 1st was when she accompanied me to the IT fair and 2nd was on monday.. haha.. lol.. saturday to celebrate the other girl's birthday but just don't seem to be looking forward to it even though angeline is gg as well.. mayb it's because of those incidents that took place.. mayb like wad he said, to let go.. and only when i let go, will i be able to forgive them and move on.. but the problem is, i can't seem to let go no matter how willing i am.. it's those memories tat they gave me lah.. just wish they can disappear from my life.. hopefully i'm not so suai to end up in the same class as any one of them in yr 2, will i??

actually planning to meet tracy tmr.. but then, the weather was another factor that made me reconsider my decision.. and also because i'm broke alr.. no money so can't get her present for her yet.. will have to wait till after easter and i'm not planning to go out next week so that would mean i've got extra 40 bucks to spend the following week with tracy.. haha.. hopefully i manage my budget well enough.. i hope i do... dun overspend my budget can liao.. lol.. ;p

owells.. i guess i'll stop here for now.. starting to feel a little tired.. will try to sleep soon after a cup of milo.. haha.. have been having problems sleeping since after exams.. strange but owells.. i believe if i continue to try and tire myself out, i will be able to fall asleep without much problems.. p.s exam results release tmr/thurs!! strange but i can't wait to get back my results.. lol.. :) will update again after i know my results.. haha.. :) nights everyone..

i guess i'll be updating more often nw that i have my laptop!!! haha... slept quite late last nite.. was talking to him online.. surprisingly, we chatted more than what i expected.. haha.. chatted quite a bit although in the end, we concluded that although we are somehow different in character and our beliefs, we still can be friends and we ARE friends.. haha.. and we were talking about the both of us.. he must have been glad to know that i'm letting go.. and the funny thing is, we were actually talking abt the gals and he just said letting go and i asked him in which area is he referring to.. so he just said mayb in trying to forget him... and so, i told him my POV and wow, he actually agreed with what i said.. haha.. owells.. even though we can't be together as a couple, mayb for us, it wld be good to stay as friends.. and hopefully, we'll be each other's good fren.. i think that would be great if this really happens.. :) but no matter what, i'll treat him as a fren and i'll still be friends with him.. too many reflections when he's involved in my tots..

owells.. was slacking awae at home today.. nothing to do.. so was playing games for a while this afternoon.. when u have nth to do, everything will just be bored to you.. well, i'm not a busy person like him or my other friends.. haha.. hopefully this week gets better and i won't be dat bored.. just hoping friends can ask me out to play, to do window shopping or to chat.. i would be so happy just to do that and get away from home.. haha.. there's CATS tmr.. will be seeing my lovely team of ladies and those darling kids.. although they can be naughty, yet i still love them... who ask me to love kids soo much!! haha... there's piano too.. haiz.. sian.. really dun feel like playing piano and it's not 45 mins tmr.. but 1 1/2 hrs.. i'm just too tired to commit to practising every week esp. now that i'm on holiday.. may propose quitting piano again to mum someday.. although i love music, but i'm losing the interest.. owells.. :S

haha!! i'll be updating my blog on my very own laptop from now onwards!! yeah!! i'm so happy.. like finally.. my own laptop.. haha.. anyway, since the last post till now.. a lot of things happened.. in school and in relationships.. the friendship between us gals just became sour.. purely because of projects and the peer evaluation.. i know they dun read my blog thus i can write it out here.. but then again, this is my blog.. why shld i bother how they think.. in relationships, i've really decided to let go.. reason being, is that he's told me how's he's feeling.. another reason is that i guess it was a good thing that he told me what he said.. cause i'm starting to feel tired waiting for him and trying to change him.. it's really tiring just to wait for him.. so i've decided to give up and let go.. letting go now although will make me feel hurt and pain, but this beats having to let go in the future.. it'll be even more pain and hurtful to me.. so yup, let go... owells.. but i think my tao hua yun quite strong the last few weeks since valentine's day.. have been meeting new guy friends.. haha.. but for now, i'm not thinking that far ahead.. what matters most for personal matters is to try and get over him asap...

the girl seems to be falling sick.. yes, that's me.. i'm so tired from all that hectic lectures, tutorials and project deadlines.. and yes, my blog died a few weeks ago, and it's alive again.. haha.. so fiona, stop the lameness... anyway, projects this semester sucks.. mkt project's due in almost a week's time but we haven really got anything started.. so i sae, my group's so dead meat.. at least OB is somehow doing fine.. thank goodness, i'm not the 'leader' for mkt if not, i'll just die... but den again, being the leader for OB isn't any better when it seems that they're somehow against you, and not very happy with you.. but thank goodness, i've got her and a bunch of dearies that i know i can alwaes turn to and complain to... thx sweeties!! i miss you guys!! =)

but really, i somehow regret being in the same grp.. i mean, get a life.. stop forcing ppl to turn up for projects when they can't or stop asking ppl to not leave early when they have a valid reason.. there's too much complaints abt them which i think cannot be written here due to certain reasons... but my sweeties you can ask me abt them.. lol.. i can just say, i really regret making the wrong choice and doing projects with them.. for now, i can only wish all these projects and presentations can quickly be over so that i can concentrate more on my preparation for exams which i so badly wanna do well..

to my dear sec sch frens:
thanks so much for always answering the phone or calling me back when i so badly need someone to talk to and complain.. thanks for always being there for this girl.. and she really appreciates that even when she knows you all are soooo busy... really love you ppl lots and i miss you!! =)

p.s to all those reading my blog, i'm NOT les.. i'm straight... =)

I'm back to blog again.. lol.. highlighted my hair yesterdae... nice!! haha.. although the colour isn't that that that obvious.. but still, it's nice!! haha... went down to parkway today to find my good friend.. and i did give her a surprise.. lol.. bought my chocs for godma and have given to her already.. hope she'll like the chocs i got her.. haha... =) saw caroline today too in church cause went for memorial mass.. chatted a bit with her.. missed talking to her lah.. miss all my sec sch frens.. esp. my very close frens like her and nicole.. hopefully i'll get to chat with them soon!!

anyway, she left us all a year ago.. a year later, we pray for her.. that she'll continue to be happy with whr she is now.. watching over us.. and we're all still doing well.. although for some of us, it's still painful.. for me, flashbacks frm a year ago still "haunt" me.. i still rmb a year ago.. the incidents and days spent crying till eyes were swollen.. but we've all slowly letting go cause we know she would want us to be happy and not sad just because she isn't around anymore.. she would want us to be happy so that she too will be happy for us frm wherever she is.. i mean, if we think positively, all of us return to Jesus one day.. but it's just a matter of who goes first.. since Jesus called for her first, we ought to be happy that she's now with Jesus, and that one day, we'll all still meet in Heaven.. I've tot things thru and slowly accepting things the way it is now and events that are yet to happen.. accepting the fact that if we dun treasure the chance we haf with our loved ones now, it'll be too late when they're gone.. accepting the fact that life is so unpredictable and that it is really not up to us to control when we stay on this earth and when we return to our maker.. it is HE who decides.. so for the rest of us here, let's continue to live our lives happily so that she'll be happy for us and she can rest in peace.. for those who have yet to lose a loved one, an advice frm someone who have experienced the pain of losing someone, treasure those around u now.. dun wait for a tragedy to happen before you learn, because by then, it'll be all too late.. and you may regret for not treasuring that person before.. i've learnt my lesson through her.. that's why i've changed and treasured those around me.. and it was through her, that i've learnt this.... =)

people, pls cheer that i'm updating.. lol.. have been busy with school.. projects and stuff.. and adding to that, i've got some projects not started and half-way hanging there.. plus mid-sem is coming... -.-''' anyway, dun feel like talking abt school.. let's talk abt more personal.. i din hear wrongly.. i heard correctly and i've asked.. it's his habit.. and i'm starting to continue picking up myself and move on... i nearly dropped back down to that pit but i'm glad i hung in there and cleared things with him.. =) and i feel that we've made quite a bit of improvement this sem.. as in friendship wise and =), i'm smiling.. we talk to each other and stuff.. and yes, i'm moving on... =) ok, i'd better shut this up just in case some people do not understand wad i talking abt.. lol.. owells.. may go back to my books soon.. i need to start revising early if not... =( i know my strengths, that's why i choose to start studying early.. =)

i feel shitty.. i tot i had gotten over it and moved on in life.. but it was all self-deception.. or wadeva you call it.. i tot he left my heart slowly but i was wrong.. mayb like wad S said.. cause i see him in school almost everyday... i really don't know wad to do.. i just stone when i see him.. is this how i really feel or am i just deceiving myself in making myself believe i still like him when the feelings have faded alr?? i really dunno.. can someone tell me??