wednesday outing with the clique was fun!! lunch and movie at Great World City before dinner at Tiong Bahru and chill out at Clarke Quay.. and it wasn't my fault that we had to bus down to GWC, ok? cause the internet showed nearest MRT was orchard!! lol.. anyway, yes, met the clique up at orchard.. was early cause went to run errands before that.. movie was nice and touching.. touched me but the tears didn't flow.. however, sad memories of 2 yrs plus back was reminded.. dinner at Rajah Inn.. not a bad place.. food was pretty ok.. took pics of course and yes, we all had fun that day.. went to clarke quay to chill and we saw people play the bungee jumping that some of the guys showed interest in playing.. but i told one of them that unless he wanna see me cry, there is no way i'm going to play.. after chilling out for an hour or so, we trained back and i was back home at 12 midnight, which made mum and dad a little unhappy.. nevertheless, the day was great and i had lots of fun! here's the pics!! :)

the different soup base - chicken, herbal (liang yi), tom yam(wendy) and fish(hao you).. mine was chicken soup with liang yi's food cooking in it..

this was our dessert.. chocolate fondue with fruits, marshmallows and banana cake with nuts and of course, chocolate and durian ice cream!! yummy!!

the company for the evening: poh tiong, ke yuan, shi qi, shermaine, melvin, hao you, liang yi, shu peng, wendy and of course, me!

their ice-cream competition.. to see who can finish their ice-cream in the shortest possible time..

the girls and guys for the evening.. missing hao you cause he left for home while the rest of us headed to clarke quay..

in the train to clarke quay.. we all agreed that this pic was best cause ke yuan was somehow hidden by the pole!! lol..

I love this clique a lot.. out of the 10 of us there, at least 8 of us are somehow "permanent".. me, liang yi, shu peng, hao you, wendy, ke yuan, melvin and poh tiong.. whenever there's a clique outing, the 8 of us are cfm present!! love these ppl lots!! :) hopefully we'll have another gathering next week before some of them leave for shanghai.. till the next post then!! :)

I was thinking, I'd better upload pics taken last thursday when we celebrated Poh Tiong's birthday before i accumulate lots of owed pics.. haha..

us girls at K Box toilet at Kallang Leisure Park.. camwhoring away!! lol.. while walking out, wendy decided to buy poh tiong a big sausage with spicy korean 'tear' sauce.. notice the before and after..

before: when he just started eating..

after: notice what new item appeared on the table.. lol..

liang yi also wanted to try the hot dog so he bought it with spicy korean 'bomb' sauce.. likewise, notice the before and after effect.. haha..

before and...

... after.. lol.. see the difference? (p.s: can play spot the difference leh.. lol..) headed to kallang bridge after that.. took some random shots as follows..

try guessing who's who.. lol..

shu peng and oyster...

me and wendy... :)

i so love this clique!! they're really fun to be with.. even during SIP and after we graduate, we'll still try to keep and touch and celebrate each other's birthdays together, as a clique, yeah?? <3

meeting nicole, caroline and hui yee for dinner tmr evening.. next post will most be pics on them and happenings during the dinner.. :)

finally able to upload the chalet pics.. here are some pics taken during chalet.. not all pics though cause there's far too many.. lol.. the nicer ones are up here so enjoy!! :)

day 1: 9 Mar, Monday

upon exploring the rooms, we decided to camwhore first.. haha.. this was a pretty random shot by me..

preparing for the BBQ on the first day.. ladies at work, plus poh tiong at the BBQ pit.. :)

the stayovers playing cards just before a group of us went night cycling... during the game, it was damn funny cause people kept losing while others kept winning.. lol..

day 2: 10 Mar, Tuesday

birthday celebration for our 2 birthday boys whose birthdays were coming up.. poh tiong and hao you!! :)

one the pics showing the clique playing truth or dare.. haha.. that night, only 6 of us stayed over and we all bunked into one room.. :)

day 3: 11 Mar, Wednesday

after checking out of the chalet, those who stayed over on the 2nd night headed to the beach to eat the unfinished birthday cakes.. but like what someone said, it was a torture cause the sun was blazing hot!! took individual shots with them as well..

lastly, this is 2B05!! love this class a lot.. first time i had so much fun at chalets.. coming to think of it now, i do miss the fun we had.. the late night cycling, the activities as a clique and as a class, the stayups to chat and play.. but sad to say, while there is a beginning to the fun, there is also an ending to the fun.. hopefully we can have more get-togethers and more fun as a clique as well as a class.. :)

next up would be the photos taken on poh tiong's birthday!! the 8 of us.. so do look out for updates, yeah?? it'll be pretty soon!! till then!! :)

to V2 (if you know who it exactly is):

I'd rather keep this friendship than to break it.. although there won't be a happy ending, but I would like to say thank you.. thank you for not avoiding me.. it really meant a lot to me.. I'd rather be very very very close friends with you than to hope to be together and have a not-so-close friendship.. very very very close friends to the extent that we can go out anytime just for a meal or a movie or simply for a chat.. close to the extent that we can chat on the phone anytime about anything.. I just want you to know that this friendship really mean a lot to me.. I'm happy to just have your company, your listening ear when I'm sad and to be your friend whom you can disturb/irritate/bully anytime.. we won't know what will happen in the future.. so no matter what happen, be it good or bad, may this friendship continue to last and have many years of friendship between us.. :)

you're a great guy friend I can ever ask for
out of all my guy friends, you are one of the closest..
I hope that like me, you treasure our friendship.. :)

decided to change back to blogspot.. more used to playing around with blogger.. haha.. but I guess things written here would be more general than personal.. lol.. anyway, back from chalet today.. although I'm physically tired, I'm not mentally tired.. headed to parkway for dinner with nicole.. pretty impromptu but yah, enjoyed myself, be it at the chalet or dinner tonight.. the uploading of pics is taking ages.. I'll post the pics another day.. for now, ciaoz!! :)

uncomfortable. wierd.

that's what my heart is feeling now.

-edit-
we always seem to be able to try to make time for each other every week,
no matter how busy we both are..
and i'm thankful for that!! :)

p.s: you know who you are..

it's damn irritating when hotmail doesn't allow you to read your emails.. i've got 2 unread emails in my inbox and i so damn can't open it.. haiz.. hope i can read it tmr..

AGM today was ok.. yes, i'm officially level rep for P2.. looking at current circumstances, I'm stuck with being level rep for at least 2 years.. but it's ok.. at least it goes to show that hey, I'm active in church!! :)

a brand new week tmr.. still tired.. never ever seem to get sufficient rest during the weekends.. especially when your weekends are packed with endless stuff to do.. but owells.. P2 meeting almost at the end of the week will keep me going.. and certain people will somehow have their way of getting me to school, just like how certain things will stop me from wanting to go to school..

and for now, i'm off to pack my bag, watch that 5 mins of Little Nonya and hopefully, complete my FOI (Full Of Idiots) tutorial.. good night peeps and have a nice week ahead.. till my next post.. :)

this post is for my dearest jie.. i know you've heard me say this many many times but i'll say it again and you know i mean well for you..

i know you're at a loss when it comes to certain stuff.. i know you have many things on your mind.. but you know what? i'll be your listening ear when you need someone to listen to you rant and vent.. i'll provide you with tissue paper and accompany you 24/7 when you're upset and wanna cry.. of course, i'll also listen to you share your joys (as well as sorrows and woes).. you know that i'm always here for you..

no matter what choice you make, whether it may be a right or wrong choice, i'll always support your decision, your choice.. no matter what you intend to do, i'll always support you.. so long as the choice you make can and will make you happy, make you smile, i'll be happy for you... you know what i mean and what i trying to say can alr.. and when my jie is sad, your mei will be sad as well.. but when she's happy, your mei will also be happy for you.. but hor, you must must must remember! that no matter what, you must always tell me, k? cannot keep it to yourself unless you want me to get angry.. and of course i'll tell you all my secrets too!! we must share everything ok? secrets and whatever we can think of!! and lastly, if you have a bf, you cannot abandon me, ok!! cause i know i won't abandon you if i have one.. you know it.. :)

finally, I LOVE YOU JIE!!! from strangers to friends to dears to now, jie mei.. it's not easy to become best frens, to become dears, whatsmore to become jie mei!! it takes fate to bring two friends together to be jie mei.. i really really really treasure this friendship, this sisterly love between us.. this is our 7th year as friends.. 7 years and still counting.. may our sisterly friendship continue to last forever, till the day we die.. love you lots jie!! p.s: dun cry after reading this if you're too touched, k? msg me after you see this.. :) <3

hello 2009!! HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!! hoping that 2009 will be a way better year than 2008 in terms of everything!! and i'm going to face everything, good or bad, with a smile!! :) and this is the 1st post for 2009!! lol.. ok, my new year wishes are going to come in.. enjoy the partying peeps!! :)

about 4 more hours to 2009!! great!! new start, new year.. mum just asked me why i'm so looking forward to 2009.. my reply was 'because.. 2008 has been a shit year for me..' dears will know why.. although i've made new friends, some of whom has been great frens, asking me how's my life occasionally and listening to me... but you know even then, the year hasn't been a great one.. yes, there were surprises but i think they were more of negative surprises than positive happy ones.. so i'm ready for 2009, looking forward to 2009.. hopefully 2009 will be a better year for me, in the many areas, health; friendships; relationships; studies; and of course loved ones stay healthy and happy always.. but my conclusion is still this: because 2008 is a shit year for me, i'm hoping, wishing that 2009 will be better.. that 2009 will have more POSITIVE surprises for me and hopefully, just hopefully, good news to share with my dears.. they'll know what i mean.. :) to all friends, dears and her, if 2008 has been a shitty year for you too, you know what? look forward.. look forward to start a new year with smiles and great things! always have hope and no matter what surprises you have in the new year, i'm always here for you.. :) so let's say together, BYE BYE 2008 AND HELLO 2009!! :) cheers, people!! :)

school started again.. gosh, now i've got to get used to waking up early for morning classes again.. :( it wld be great if someone could be so nice and give me morning calls on days that i have to wake up early.. it would be greatly appreciated.. lol.. i mean it.. will be blogging lesser.. not so much time especially with project deadlines and to chiong and prepare for main exam which mind you, isn't very far away.. it's in about 2 months time and with my predicted sucky mid-sem test results, i obviously have to prepare early and chiong.. i mean it too.. but will update once more, or maybe twice this week again.. after that, not so often le.. :) ok, school sucks but i'm glad at least the company of friends keep me motivated.. :)

i miss you again...
but i will try not to get upset over you..
it's a promise to myself...
but i'll still try to give you up...

smiles on my face.. created by someone.. lol.. partying soon when the dears come over!! so excited.. after all it has been ages since i last met up with some of them so of course i'm excited and looking forward to it.. :) for now, ciaoz..

other than them,
that idiot is always able...
to put a smile..
on my face.. :)

after this holiday, i came to realise something.. i've somehow seemed to lost my trust in that group of friends.. or rather, they made me lose my trust in this group of friends.. i won't say which group it is.. it just doesn't feel the same as it used to be.. owells.. anyway, MERRY CHRISTMAS to my family, jie, dears and friends!! :)

i love christmas this year..
it just seems so different..
as compared to previous years.. :)

it's been 2 years.. 2 years have just pass like that.. it all seemed like yesterday.. those flashbacks seem so real.. but we've all moved on somehow, one way or another.. we're stronger and living life happily, the way she wanted us to live, even though amidst our smiles and laughter will be that small little sadness... but the lesson learnt from this was to treasure and cherish everyone around you.. this was what hui yee told me today as well.. and this is what i'm telling you frens out there.. only my dears and jie will know why this day mean so much to me..

anyway, on a happier note, been meeting with hui yee up quite often.. starting from yesterday, i think i'll be meeting her almost everyday.. yesterday, today, (maybe)tmr, (maybe)wed if she's decided to come to church for christmas midnight mass with me and my family.. will be glad to have her around! hopefully, we'll meet everyday this week.. of course except for christmas day itself.. i may even meet her on friday to find caroline during her lunch break.. and i'm definitely seeing her on saturday!! gosh, this week seems exciting!! sooo looking forward to it.. :)

sooo looking forward to christmas this year..
no idea why either.. :)

I. think. I. still. miss. you. a. little.

I. guess. my. hopes. are. dashed.


no. call. nothing. at. all.

whee!! first and foremost, mid-sems are over! it's time to party and play!! haha.. although i felt i screwed mid-sems, but forget it.. it's over!! should have fun now that the holidays are here.. lol.. was out till 1.30a.m yesterday! yes, i reached home only at 1.30a.m.. cool, rite? was helping mass comm people with their filming.. or rather, my dear sister was helping them out and i was being her 'nanny' for the day.. but had lots of fun with them!! they're really a cool group to be with.. getting to know quite a number of mass comm people because of hui yee.. but nah, i'm not complaining cause they're nice nice nice people!! :) will have to help them out again with the green screen? but i don't mind.. lol.. last night, had occasional chats with hui yee.. the both of us have sooo many things to tell each other.. and she wants to find out how i'm coping.. (not with school.. some other stuff..) hopefully we get to meet this week.. haha.. :) half a sem's gone.. when sem 3.1 come, i've got no lunch company cause my dear girl is doing her industry attachment.. but hopefully we'll still meet up for dinner and dessert, yeah? but even then, i'm still 24/7 for her.. and of course, for my other dears!!

anyway she asked me something last night but i didn't give her an answer, maybe cause my sister was around.. but yah, maybe someone caught my eye.. i say, maybe.. nice person, rather friendly.. good impression of him.. but before i can really get another eye candy or smth, i think it's right and best of me to forget J first.. i mean, it's only ethical of me.. or at least, until i don't feel a thing when i see him, until i don't get emotional and start crying again.. but owells.. for now, i'll leave it as it is..

an extract from my diary:

yes, i may want to be in a relationship. but i want to be in one that will last. so i guess no matter how badly i want to be in one, i'll leave it to God. cause HE knows best. my life is in His hands. HE has a plan for me. i'd rather wait and look for one relationship that will last forever, than find one but no happy ending. i'll leave it to God... with the recent terrorism attack, i've once again realised that when it's time for you to go back home, when God wants you back, He has a way to want you back up there, even if it means just staying at home. when your time on earth is up, it's up. get the point? likewise even if i'm in a relationship now, he may not eventually be my Mr. Right..

so i guess he isn't for me.. he isn't the one God prepared for me. cause i believe that unless God wants me to become a nun, He's got my other half prepared for me, waiting for me. maybe that true Mr. Right has appeared already but as friends.. maybe he hasn't.. but whatever is it, I'm leaving it to God.. cause I believe and trust in Him that He knows best.. :)

p.s: is anyone still reading my blog?? hmmm.. ok, back to books.. :)

just felt like blogging again... less than one week to my first paper for mid-sem and i have no mood to study.. this is real bad.. haha.. my mind now is all on holiday events.. write and send christmas cards to my dears and friends (after buying them asap..), hair appointment on 17 dec, yen hui jie's wedding on 20 dec, ah yi's death anniversary on 22 dec (so fast time flies.. it's been xxx years already.. the dears will maybe know how long it is..), last minute shopping for christmas gifts on 23 dec, christmas eve mass on 24 dec, CHRISTMAS DAY on 25 dec, preparation for christmas party on 26 dec, CHRISTMAS PARTY on 27 dec, rest day on 28 dec and back to school after that... just the 2nd week of holiday and i'm busy with all the christmassy events!! but yea, i'm not complaining cause i'm looking forward to christmas and the party!! :) haha.. owells.. busy busy holiday.. but firstly, let's get mid-sem tests over and done with.. lol.. excited!! =)

may be going out later.. ok, if i do go out, i'll bring my HR notes along to study.. have to get myself in the studying mood or else no time again.. :) anyway, end of post.. watching tv now.. :)

sooo looking forward to the holidays..
cause of the many happening events..
and cause i'm spending christmas with my dears and loved ones.. :)

we seemed to be drifting further away as half a sem passed.. maybe cause these few weeks i haven been in a stable mood? mood swings come and go very fast.. but is that the reason? or are we getting used to the class that we talk to others yet not to each other? even M could ask if we were ok and did we quarrel.. my reply was no.. but do you think we're really ok? i see you sitting with them during lectures.. i really don't mind cause i don't wish to have any more close relations with them.. but i just feel that it's different when we sit together for lectures.. is it you changing? or is it me changing? without the both of us noticing it? i really don't know.. sometimes, i agree that you can't always do projects with your very close frens.. it won't be as pleasant as you want it to be..

this has nothing to do with him..
and i've woken up already..
and hopefully, i can walk forward more bravely.. :)

do a quick post before i go for my lecture.. cause i really need to blog.. busy as i may be with project deadlines, some 'idiot' is in my mind.. the things nicole and caroline tell me.. they're repeating in my head.. hang on if i think there will be progress, give up if i think there won't be any.. don't regret my decision.. since i've chosen to give up, i should move on.. i really want to do so but is it still possible? i'm really scared i'll regret my decision.. :( mood's been quite bad these days.. dun feel like talking much yet the thoughts fill my mind.. there is a thousand and one things waiting to be done yet i'm not in the mood to do so.. if not is i'm too tired, brain dead.. this can't be happening now.. especially when mid-sem is just next week!

i've got the urge to sms that 'idiot'.. even if it's a 'how are you recently?' sms.. i know that his reply will be short and simple and may hurt but at least i know it'll make me smile a little.. i know if i do that, my dears will scold me.. sometimes, i feel like an ass.. always bothering them with BGR especially when it has to do with the 'idiot'.. yet they always assure me that they won't mind cause that's what friends are for.. argh... just when i thought i could move on, the 'idiot' had to appear in front of me.. hate yet like.. maybe i really am not ready to meet the 'idiot' at all... :(

do i want things to repeat itself again?
do i still think that he'll be nice to me?
do i want to see myself crying over him?
my answer to all that is NO..
yet i'm starting to turn back..
and yet i know that if i do turn back,
my heart will break even more
and i'll cry even more... :(

i really screwed up.. i thought i could let go.. i thought i had let go.. let go completely and totally.. but judging from my reaction, i don't think so.. i saw him today and i can't believe i actually felt happy.. i can't believe that my heart skipped a beat.. i tried to ignore his presence but i couldn't.. i'm not hiding from him or avoiding him.. i'm doing what i told her.. face up and not avoid cause it'll do me no good.. but look at where my feelings are bringing me to.. i'm starting to think of him again.. does all this just mean that i didn't let go completely yet? does all this just mean that i'm still missing him? i'm screwed up..

just now as i listened to S.H.E's song, i nearly started crying.. so i changed song.. listening to it now again cause i think the song is nice but i feel like crying yet i'm holding back those tears.. partly because my sis is in the room now.. but those tears can't drop.. i can't let it flow.. can my dears please tell me what to do?

were the feelings gone at all?
or were they just hiding in a corner..
invisible till i saw you?
i feel like crying.. really..

not again...? starting to cough again.. =.= plus headaches these days.. ahh! wad's happening to me sia? can't afford to fall sick cause tests coming up, projects due.. oh man.. i hope next week not so hectic.. =X

RHRA/MER report to be done.. deadline is next week..

comm skills 2 online problem.. deadline is next week too..
and problem 2 on communication etiquette officially started this week..

PFP test this coming monday.. haven even started studying.. =X

RHRA/MER and FOI mid sem is in 2 weeks time..
haven started studying.. how nice..

FOI project not even started when the other groups have..
PFP is getting nowhere either..

so many things to do and to clear..
yet so little time..

projects, projects, projects and more projects..
holiday starts on 13 dec, friday at 4pm..
but with all these projects..
can i even have my holiday?

i need and want a break..
i want to meet up with Godma and my KC dears..
i need and want a breather..
i need my holiday..

projects and tutorials and tests
go away...
but for now, i'll jia you!
and complete whatever needs to be done by this week.. =)

i thought i would get a call from someone from church this month..
but as the month comes to an end,
i realised that maybe the position wasn't mine at all in the first place..

as such, i've stopped hoping..
stopped hoping about everything that doesn't seem realistic..
i've stopped hoping that the position is for me, just as they said..
i've stopped hoping that that person will call me soon, telling me good news,
news that i wanna hear..

instead, i tell myself that maybe it's a good thing if they decide to change their mind about giving me that position..
at least i can concentrate more on my studies.. (even though i wish i could have that position..)

but while i stopped hoping, i'll still pray..
pray that He knows what's best for me..
pray that maybe a miracle would even come true...

and while i've stopped hoping for this matter,
i've also stopped hoping for another matter..
stopped hoping that i would even see that person online..
stopped hoping that something will happen..
which will change me and him..
stopped hoping that our friendship would develop into something better..

cause all those hoping and hopes will just break my heart one day..
be it sooner or later..
and i know i won't be able to take these blows
especially him..

it all just boils down to one word:
coincidence

dark clouds.. heavy rain.. may make people feel emo.. but for me, not the case.. instead i have a smile on my face.. not happy cause it's raining.. but this rain suddenly makes me reflect on my life.. =)

life is like the weather.. sometimes sunny, sometimes rainy.. it's something that everyone must experience, whether or not you like it sunny or rainy.. in my case, i relate sunny weather to good times and rainy weather to bad times..

when it's sunny, i have my family and friends and dears to share my happiness with.. but when it's rainy, i still have them to share my sorrows and hear my complaints and lend me a listening ear..

when it's sunny, i have them to laugh and smile with me.. but when it's rainy, i still have them to cry with me..

when it's sunny, i have people who believe and trust in me and be there with me.. but when it's rainy, i still have people who continue to believe and trust in me and be there for me and with me..

these people know who they are.. they know how much they mean to me.. they know i love them lots.. they know that i appreciate all that they've done for me, even if it's just a listening ear.. and they know that i believe and trust them as well.. just like how they believe and trust in me.. and they know that i'm always here for them when they need me, 24/7, 365 days..

i'm glad to have my family, such friends and my SWEET dears with me, whether in sunny or rainy weather.. and i'm really thankful for them..

sunny or rainy weather is something everyone of us will go through and have to go through.. but no matter how long or short each rainy weather is, i truly believe that there'll always be sunshine and a rainbow after each rainy weather.. :) and i hope that if you are experiencing a rainy weather in your life, in your story now, always believe that your friend here is always here for you, always believing and trusting in you.. smile peeps! :)

thank you Lord for giving me these dears and my family..
they add smiles to my life to make it happy..
they add laughter to my life to make it lively..
most importantly, they support me in everything i do..
and they trust and believe in me..
THANK YOU LORD FOR THEM!! :)

with tests and project deadlines due before mid-sem, i really need a break.. like seriously.. i have yet to finalise the details for my christmas party!! gosh, i'd better send out an email informing the dears about it first.. get them to block off that day.. cause it's 90% confirm to be on 27th dec.. i seriously need a break.. or rather, a breather.. busy busy busy.. hectic hectic hectic.. take tmr for example, in sch from 11 to (hopefully) 4pm.. maybe will go back with hui yee.. shall see how..

anyway, today was tiring yet fun! KSCC was fun.. we all seemed rather busy today.. all 6 of us.. can't say what we were doing but yah, we were busy yet at the same time, had fun.. =) i'm starting to love the attachment more.. went home for lunch before meeting caroline.. nicole couldn't make it last minute but it's ok.. many more opportunities in future especially now when the JC ppl finish their A levels.. haha.. so yup, more meet-ups with them.. okok.. i need to slack now.. like really.. ;)

hui yee came over for dinner last night.. it was a last-minute invitation.. lol.. cause she didn't have dinner at home and i didn't want her to eat soo much outside food cause of msg so i called mum and asked if hui yee could join us.. so in the end she came over and i think she enjoyed herself.. with the yummy food (chicken rice) mum made and boy, it has been 2 years plus since my KC dears came over to my place.. and like everyone, she naturally missed my mum's cooking.. haha.. but she had a filling and yummy dinner.. and i enjoyed her company cause we talked about many things, from past to present.. and be surprised, we have endless things to talk about!! :)

was talking to some of my KC dears last night online as well.. and it suddenly struck a chord in me which made me feel that time pass real fast and i've actually known these dears for years.. and i mean, YEARS.. lol..

hui yee, tracy, sueann, samantha etc - since sec 1 till now.. 6 years and still counting..
nicole, caroline (if i never rmb wrongly), carolyn - since P6 till now.. 7 years and still counting..
li ting - since P5 till now.. 8 years and still counting..
fiona low (if i never rmb wrongly) - since P4 till now.. 9 years and still counting..
evadne and charmaine - since P1 till now.. 12 years and still counting..

these dears are the people whom i still keep in contact with.. of course there are many others and most of them, i know from KC.. those from KCP, ha, i lost contact with many except for evadne, charmaine, li ting, fiona and carolyn.. my mum even knows evadne's parents! that's how long we've known each other.. up till now i still can remember how i met each one of this dears..

a special msg to them:
you dears are the most important group of friends to me..
you all rank no. 1 and is irreplaceable..
thanks for always being there for me, lending me a listening ear and believing and trusting in me..
you girls mean so much to me..
i love you girls cause we're KCians and sisters!! <3

p.s: 10 years in a blue and white uniform.. I'm missing those days.. we're like a family that's why we're so close and they're irreplaceable in my heart.. :)

haiz... first is facebook.. now is friendster.. all friends kena deleted when they did the maintenance.. how nice.. =( just finished adding people.. sickening sia.. and now, i can only reply comments after people accept my friend request.. bleh.. =( ok, off to piano soon.. edit later..

-edit-
i seriously hope friendster can fix my problem.. =X anyway, piano just now.. wasn't that bad.. kept laughing and talking abt school stuff (i.e projects, lectures and tutorials..) and personal stuff.. both of us are hectic man.. me and my piano teacher.. and i can't believe mid-sem is coming already! super fast! another 2-3 more weeks and i'm on holiday again.. lol.. and of course, christmas is coming so yup yup, hair appointment! haha.. after mid-sem..

was telling mummy that i decided to stop taking piano already.. the first time i told her this, she suggested that i learn for the fun of it.. now that this is the second time i'm telling her this, seems like she's really gonna let me stop even though she asked me why.. but really, i've got no time to practise.. especially next year.. with CATS, church, school.. pls tell me, where can i find the time to practise.. although i think it'll be wasted and i'll miss learning new songs but yah, this way, i'm not wasting yen hui jie's time, mum's money and my time as well.. =X owells.. but i'll still play on my own for the fun of it.. haha.. learn new songs on my own.. haha... =)

today's sunday..
no sign of him..
yet i wished i saw him today..

advice given by friends:
don't bother.. not worth my time..
not worth saving the friendship..

so....
i shall not bother anymore..
and i don't wanna talk about it anymore..
leaving it behind and I'm moving on..
i've got better and more important things to do..
shan't go and be bothered..

their mouths belong to them..
what they want to deny or say, i can't control..

but if they want to see me upset..
i'm so sorry that they'll have to be disappointed..
because i'm gonna be happy and live my life happily..
because without them as friends, my life still goes on..
and so long as i've got God, my family, my KC dears..
who believe and trust in me,
I've got nothing to be afraid of.. =)

beware! long post cause I'm finally updating.. like FINALLY.. blog left dead for a week.. and within this one week, many things happened.. all related to school..

firstly, I'm sorry I changed my blog address (again).. changed so that there'll be more privacy cause this new address is only known to less than 10 ppl.. so please, respect my decision and not let the others (from TP) know.. =)

school's getting busy that I have yet to practise piano.. shit, I think I"ll get scolded again for not practising.. maybe it's time for me to talk to mum about piano again.. =X but anyway, yes.. busy busy busy.. projects have taken off.. earliest deadline is 3 Dec followed by 5 Dec.. how nice.. just before mid-sems.. but still, that doesn't stop me from meeting my KC dears after they end their A levels.. I'm like going out with them next week already! and talking about next week, my week seems packed.. and out of 5 days, I'm only going to school early on thursdays.. I either report late or start school late for the other days.. nice, rite?! slack.. haha.. things to get done this weekend is my tutorials, study for comm skills 2 and try to squeeze in some time to touch my *dusty* piano..

ok, something more personal.. I'm more or less over that barrier.. but who knows what will happen if we meet..?? but nah, i'm not going to think so far ahead.. =) as for friendships in school, long story to why the friendship is somehow broken but take it as i still want this friendship.. on my part, i'll try to save this but whether it works out or not, will also have to depend on them.. and certain things that have happened cannot be easily forgotten.. overlook their flaws? yah, i will try but it won't be easy.. (sherlyn, understand?) but i'm leaving these things behind.. next week onwards, it'll be better.. and since i'm leaving these unhappiness behind, I'm not going to dig up the past as well.. so don't bother asking me unless I wanna tell you..

ok, off to dinner.. but before i go, just something to end off that I heard it somewhere.. you are the lead in your life.. the main lead.. others are just supporting roles, be it minor or important.. so the story is yours.. and you should live life happily each day.. because of this, i'm not going to let what others say or do affect me.. =) cause I'm going to live a happy life from now on, starting from this moment..

i know you won't read this but..

thanks for adding again.. =)

your friendship still means a lot to me..

-----

everything is just screwed up in my life recently.. either that or everything has something against me..

-edited-

------

true friends don't bitch about you behind your back..
my true friends will stand by me, 24/7, 365
my true friends won't leave me to die... they'll die with me if they have to..
my true friends? they're my KC dears..
and most importantly, my loved jie.. <3

5 days a week..

will meet hui yee at least two days a week be it for lunch or just going home tgt (hui yee, see this??).. =)

-edited-

ok, i'm out of here.. and no, i'm still emotionally unstable...

I think my blog will be left dead for a period of time..


or at least until i make sure that i'm emotionally stable before it'll be revived..


i'm sorry but what you see now..
is all a pretence from me..

sherlyn dear, don't get too high during lectures and tutorials.. it's been great so far having you for lessons and lectures.. at least i don't feel so left out.. and yes, i'm enjoying school cause it's a distraction.. with you, xiao min and DJ during lectures and with you for tutorials, i'm really thinking lesser already.. *hui yee, see this? i'm thinking lesser already... lol.. *

anyway, i think i'll be listening to hui yee's advice regarding certain issues.. you know can le.. =) and we can meet for lunch on mondays, wednesdays and thursdays! just call or msg, k? i'll look for you if i need company.. haha.. i don't think my friend, sherlyn, will mind.. heehee..

from total strangers to friends to best friends to dears/dearies to hao jie mei.. i'll truly treasure these friends.. while i can have many friends and best friends, i can only have few dears and dearies cause we can clique and have topics to talk about.. but i can only have 1 hao jie mei.. she know who she is can le.. =)

ok, i'm off to shower before i start on my research for comm skills.. so badly need to complete that tonight cause it's HSM3 and dinner tmr with hui yee.. yeah! can't wait.. heehee.. =)

-edited-
I've made my choice.. I hope i don't regret.. i know i may and will feel like shit when there are encounters in church.. i know i'll be damn down and emo after each encounter but this is the only thing i can do in order not to get hurt even more.. but i really considered a lot and with her advices, i'm making this move.. i just hope i don't regret.. and i know while going through this, she'll be there to hear me out, listen to me talk.. i know she'll bring me out for dinner and dessert and try to cheer me up.. at the same time, i'll be strong.. i'll focus on my studies, together with her.. the both of us will chiong studies now.. we'll have each other as company..

a best friend is a sister God forgot to give you..
to me, she's more than a best friend..
she's my hao jie mei whom no one can replace..
and she'll be the only one..
this is my assurance to her.. =)

back from my trip yesterday but was too tired to update.. and i'm still tired.. lol.. almost couldn't wake up this morning for tutorial.. anyway, overall, the trip's great! had fun shopping, walking around and we were either eating or shopping most of the time.. let the pics show you..

*BEWARE: YOU MAY GET HUNGRY AFTER SEEING THE PICS!! lol.. =)

our lunch for day 1!! keow tiao soup.. not too bad.. yummy! =)

our gelato ice-cream at the first shopping mall.. the mall was near our hotel that we walked there and back.. lol..

our dinner! chicken rice balls at Jonkers.. It's actually those shops in the midst of a night market.. it was really packed and squeezy that i got a little irritated.. the place, however, reminded me of taipei's hua si night market..

we had wan ton mee on the 2nd day after church at Jonkers again cause the sisters wanted to get pineapple tarts.. the serving was really small that me and dad had 2 plates each.. great food once again.. and that's my drink - herbal tea.. had an after-taste but good to cool down cause the weather was real hot!

that's our dessert.. also at Jonkers.. mum, dad and my 2 older sisters had chendol while me and angel had mango ice kachang.. it's really different from Singapore.. Singapore got a lot of kachang but over there, no, it's only sweet corn and kidney beans.. and small portions so was easily gone.. the dessert really came at a good timing cause the weather was so hot that i think you can heat stroke...


that's our tea-cum-dinner.. we had satay at 4 plus.. it was like a satay buffet.. where you sat and eat until you had enough.. but no, it wasn't free.. you had to pay for the number of sticks..

try guessing the number of sticks we ate in total?? lol.. we ate a total of 115 sticks.. but the satay was good.. yum.. smelt of satay after that.. anyway, end of pics... didn't take pics for dinner on day 2 cause i forgot.. was too hungry but the serving was big! and mind you, we had western... from chicken chop to chicken thigh to lamp chop to sirloin steak.. price was rather reasonable upon conversion back to singapore dollars.. that's why it's worth to eat western in malaysia cause in singapore, it's only half the price! no pics for the last day as well cause it was home-sweet-home.. lol.. overall, really had fun!! from now till mid-semester break, there's no more holidays so let's get down to business, frens!! =)

P.S: yeah! HSM on thursday!! whee!! finally something to really cheer me up.. =)

extracted from sherlyn's blog.. "happiness is seeing marianne in sch everyday." hahahahaha..... sherlyn, i'm so touched.. really.. lol.. we don't need to make new frens le.. we go be anti-social ourselves!! haha.. but no, we must try to clique with them, ok.. haha, even though we know we're happy with just the company of each other.. lol.. to me, i'm having happiness already.. cause happiness = family, happiness = friends i love, happiness = GOD, happiness = being able to teach young kids catechism, happiness = jie who always listens to my complaints and good news, happiness = liking him even though it may one-sided... happiness = current life!! =) cheers, people! =D

p.s: i so wanna watch HSM3!! i'm into HSM these days.. cause i think zac efron is cute!! lol.. =)

headed down to thomson today just before school for a eye check.. mild eye infection... eyes too dry, dead cells(?) results in no wearing of contact lens for one week.. that is till next thursday when i go back to thomson to check again.. so i'll be in specs this week and next week.. how nice but can't be helped.. my eyes are more impt.. and yes jie, i should have listened to you.. =x called the eyewear shop just now to see if i can get my new specs on thursday instead of friday.. cause friday's a long day for me.. after school got to come back home to pack for malacca trip.. so i thought thursday would be better.. they called me back and said if they receive it tmr, i can go and collect.. i think the salesperson heard wrong day but never mind.. lol... ok, i'm sleepy.. but i can't nap otherwise tonight i'll be an owl.. O.O

bad news... at least, it's bad news to me.. went to make new specs just now after seeing my jie get hers.. design is similar to hers and it's blue! hers is blue as well but different shades.. like mine! =) however, bad news is i'm officially $100-$200 poorer (shan't state the exact cost lah..) and my degree for both eyes went up! like rocket sia! right eye increased from 650 to 750, left eye increased from 600 to 650 and astigmatism went up by 50 for both eyes.. yikes! how bad is this.. double that of my second sister! =S i've so gonna take better care of my eyes now! and good news is that the design's nice that i may consider wearing specs to school on certain days.. haha! cause i think the design's rather fashionable so heehee.. and bad news (once again) is that my eyes are super red now! all thanks to my contact lens.. i may not wear contact lens tmr to school le.. depending on my eyes.. hopefully it's just because i didn't sleep well last night that's why it's red.. owells.. anyway, from this week onwards, i'll be rather busy for the next few weeks, including weekends.. this long deepavali weekend is gone, next saturday and sunday will be in church (somehow looking forward to it...), following saturday is thanksgiving and BBQ in church! how nice! owells.. maybe it's a good thing.. =)

jie, enjoy your long long long weekend, k?! your 'stupid' mei will get you snacks from malacca.. meet up next week to pass to you.. the day we meet (which is most prob a wednesday?), i'll wear my glasses to show you!! i promise.. haha.. lol.. dun miss me, yeah? haha... -loves-

I've got to say I'm sorry.. i tried not to think so much but the more i try, it's worse.. i said i won't bother and focus on my studies now but i can't.. i really wanna know how you're doing, are you ok.. all those outings with hui yee did make me enjoy myself and cheer myself up.. it really worked but i don't deny that somewhere in my heart, i'm thinking about you.. please don't doubt that my smiles are fake.. it's real, it's coming from my heart but i'm sorry that he's affecting me now.. those thoughts.. those factors that are popping up.. they're making me think a lot again, making me consider if i should let go and give up or should i hold on to my happiness, that he's the one.. making me consider whether it's like or infatuation... blinded by the desire to be in a relationship.. but i promise, that when school starts tmr, i'll be fine.. i'll try to divert my attention to studies.. and i'll not be that emo and down but more happier cause i've got friends around me to make me stay happy.. i'm sorry but i'll be fine... =)

maybe i don't belong in your world at all...
maybe you don't belong in my world at all...
that's why I'm thinking a lot again...
I know I've got to move on and be who I am again...
but I seem to be stuck at this point..
I don't seem to be able to move on for now..

have been up since 7.15 this morning till now.. heehee.. surprisingly i could wake up for the orientation but sadly, i was a little sleepy and maybe it's been quite some time i woke up early, i started going crazy as what xiao min they all know.. super high during the break and sherlyn and me kept laughing and talking.. haha... although we're different timings for our attachment, we're glad to be in the same class.. =)

gg out later in the evening at 6 plus.. meeting dear hui yee for dinner and shopping at bugis street.. heehee.. hopefully even when school start, we can meet up once every few weeks for dinner and dessert at blk 85 or simpang bedok.. don't mind going to simpang.. geez, she'll know why.. haha.. ok, let's enjoy the last 2 days before school officially open.. and i've got no more free day but it's ok.. =)

-edited-
got home not too long ago.. tired after one whole day.. the both of us.. but we had fun at bugis.. had some heart-to-heart talk with hui yee, shopped at bugis street, chatted and laughed in the train and at bedok inter.. we didn't go home empty-handed.. hui yee bought a pair of jeans which was nice and i bought a pair of shorts, as a present from tracy (THANKS GIRL!!) and a bag, the kind which i've been looking for since last year.. so was pretty fruitful, as always! :) too tired to blog already.. nights peeps! =)

jie, thanks! thanks for hearing me out each time i got a problem.. thanks for hearing me out each time i tell you updates (you know about what lah..).. thanks for always bothering to go out with me every time i'm down because of certain reasons.. although i feel i'm not a good jie mei as you, but i know you <3 me! lol.. hope you enjoyed this holiday cause we've been meeting up! when school start on monday, we still must continue to meet up, yeah? and i'll still continue to update you.. and on mondays or wednesdays, if you wanna meet up to go home tgt or even for dinner and dessert, i'm just a call away.. jie, remember that your mei is always here for you, k?! just like how you're always here for her.. =) -loves-

haha! my dream came true! me and sherlyn really same class!! :) cool.. haha.. for the next 1 1/2 yrs, we'll be fine.. really fine and at the end of it, we'll be over-hyper! haha..

sherlyn, i'm loving you!!
hahaha... cause we're classmates once again!! :)

i'm not feeling myself today.. rather i'm not at ease.. not sure why either.. there's just this strange feeling in me.. owells... but i foresee i won't be able to fall asleep easily tonight cause timetable's being released tmr morning at 10 am.. gonna wake up early, check timetable before bombarding people's phones with calls and msgs... lol.. :)

great day today! had lots of fun with hui yee.. just loving her lots! and i made her tear a bit.. lol.. but overall, it was a great day and i think she had fun! she left me a msg last nite and again at 12 plus.. so i called her and the first thing i did was not say hello but sang her a birthday song when she answered the phone.. and she was so touched she started tearing.. haha.. she's my jie so obviously her birthday will be celebrated in a special special way.. :) so met up with her and as usual, i was early despite leaving the house late on purpose.. bused to marine parade and we walked to east coast park.. walked and chat and laughed.. headed to the bicycle rental shop where we rented a tandem after concluding that i can't ride on my own.. we had fun trying out the tandem and when we first started, i kept screaming (as usual) and she panicked as well.. lol.. but after a while, when we got used to it, we headed off to bedok jetty.. haha! i can ride a tandem ok.. and help to pedal.. so till i can ride on my own, dear frens, i can ride a tandem! haha! ok, so at bedok jetty, we started to camwhore and enjoy the nice breeze before heading back cause it looked like it was going to rain although in the end, it didn't... we got tired and we went for gelare ice-cream after returning the bike.. chat and laughed again before heading to the beach to once again, enjoy the breeze and boy! the breeze is real shiok! haha... after that we walked back to KC before taking a cab to bedok inter cause she was late..

overall, i guess be it me and her, we truly enjoyed ourselves today! had lots of fun! we're meeting again on friday for dinner and shopping at bugis.. gotta get her present and i think she'll be getting mine as well, if i'm not wrong.. haha.. and we're trying to see if after school start, whether we can meet one day for steamboat at east coast park there too! cool, looking forward.. this holiday rocks cause i kept meeting up with her almost every week and also cause she was there when i needed her and i was there when she needed me.. all this is because we're hao jie mei, best frens.. :) i won't exchange her for the world... cause she's my jie! :) once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUI YEE!! :)

-edited-
i'm tired, having a bad headache.. i think i most prob can sleep till morning tonight.. and my heart's beating faster.. :)

since yesterday, i've been in a super good mood! shan't say why but yah.. :) and it's good to be in a good mood! haha.. anyway, today went back school for a while for some HR kelly services attachment briefing.. haha, me and sherlyn were glad that we had each other for company cause we knew no one there! imagine going to the briefing alone! yikes! haha.. really hoping that the both of us will end up in the same class and we were making logic and reasoning with the subjects and classes and stuff... there's an attachment orientation on friday morning in school.. gotta wake up at 7 plus.. meeting sherlyn at 8.30.. and knowing her, i think she'll be a little late.. haha.. rite girl? by then, i think we would have gotten our timetables already so me and her would either be damn happy cause we're in the same class or damn sad.. but i believe my dream will come true.. :) packed week ahead.. tmr is birthday celebration with hui yee, wednesday is date with angeline since there is no way we could fit everyone so we decided to meet up... just the both of us and we're going for sushi! cause i've got craving.. thursday is angel's birthday celebration and friday is HR attachment orientation.. i think it'll be fun! sherlyn, i'm looking forward to it.. i hope you are too!! if we really end up in the same class, you'll improve lots in areas like punctuality, attendance, discipline and neatness? haha.. lol.. :)

I hereby announce that I AM JIE JIE AND NOT AUNTIE.. so sad when marcus ask his son, lucas, to call me auntie.. my next reaction was 'is call jie jie lah, not auntie' before i proceeded to play with his son.. but his son is sooo cute... :) then again, all kids below primary 4 and babies are cute.. :)

I'm hooked on to chocs recently.. just started not too long ago.. currently enjoying my pack of Hersheys' kisses - milk chocolate with almonds! yum! i need to get my supply of chocs, preferably dark chocolate.. best choice for me? DARS.. :) and chocs is always able to cheer me up... :)

my half-eaten pack of Hersheys' chocolates.. haha..

my new pack of chocs!! tempting huh? haha..

that one hersheys' choc is just so small.. it's gone before you know it.. :) -loves-

hmm.. i'm starting to wonder.. ever since i changed my blog address, does anyone else other than those i told to, know about the new blog address? -thinks- anyway, yes, what am i doing at home at this time when i actually had a class outing to celebrate kelly's birthday? i'll tell you: they smsed me.. whoever that is.. they msged me.. but sadly, i didn't receive any sms from them... seriously, i tell you honestly! it's not my fault that i don't wanna go (although i admit i was still considering) but yah.. i never received any msgs frm them.. so pls tell me, how do you want me out of the house when they were at esplanade at 6.30p.m and when mum has prepared my dinner? so to conclude, this is not my fault... owells.. my next worry is do i seriously have to do comm skills with them?? -sighs-