been busy the last few days?? hmm.. not exactly but i did go out with frens just this past week and i'll be going out again this week!! anyway, that outing was last thursdae.. went out with tracy and li ting to bugis.. managed to buy wadeva i needed to buy and the children's day gifts were although cute, they cost me quite a lot of money.. just the clips alone came up to almost $20.. but at least when i gave them out today, they were happy with it.. :)

as for today, i tink some people found out that i nearly had to handle the class of abt 18 kids today alone.. thx to hmm... of course, that excluded my parents and my sisters who obviously would know cause i'd have told them.. she smsed nancy this morning, informing her that she wun be able to come.. so nancy obviously told me and the 1st thing she said this morning when i saw her was.. " marianne, i've got bad news for you.." i tot wad bad news was it, but just news that she wun be turning up today.. and nancy was making arrangements for someone to come in and help me when.. poof!! she turned up and asked why she turned up, she said "oh, actually i wasn't feeling well but then i tot you would be the only one so i just come and help lor.. " dots.. not that her presence would make any difference but today, she did help me out a bit so it wasn't that bad.. she did a mindmap for me on the board so that the class could copy.. and i din tink of that so mayb one way or another, she did help out a bit today.. lol.. owells..

will be going out later in the evening for dinner.. not sure whr but i guess it sure will be good food tonite!! lol..

i'm dead bored.. the games online are pathetic.. nth to do till 5 plus when my show starts... dots.. crapping here anyway.. lol... gosh, someone save me from this boredom that i'm suffering from!! ahh!! lol... anywae, i miss sch.. i miss the frens in sch!! haiz.. mayb i dun miss all.. but i'm sure i miss the gals and that someone.. such a random post.. ok, i'm off!

this wasn't the 1st time already.. it happened before and it happened again.. i shouldn't have been rash but that feeling's coming back again after so many months.. mayb i shouldn't have looked for it.. maybe staying home would be better.. i really dun noe.. i apologise for my mistakes, for my behavior and for my attitude.. but i wish i could have turned back time.. really...

i treasure the friendship i have with you now.. at least although i know i may nv stand a chance anymore, but i'm happy with the current status quo btw us.. and i hope u treasure it too.. at least things are improving btw the two of us and we're getting to know each other better and i truly hope that u wun take it to heart with wad i tell u or msg u at times.. but i just wan u to know that although i still like you and sometimes i wish that you'll give me a chance, i wan you to know that i know certain things can't be forced and can't be rushed so i wun rush this.. i'll let things be as it is.. mayb things will change after some time but i hope that even though we may not be together, i still hope that we can be very good frens to the extent that i can share everything with you and vice versa.. will u give me a chance to do just that?? will you?? p.s i hope you know who i'm referring to...

yup yup! 1st ever post after my exams.. anyway, exams ended on thursday.. quite relaxed now and yes, i'm enjoying the freedom after exams and starting to bury myself with my interests and stuff.. lol... of course, besides enjoying myself, hopefully i'm not asked to re-sit for any supp paper especially csa.. will cry i tell you... but i guess it shld be ok bah, i pray?? and yes, i did pray before all my papers.. see, TRUST THE LORD... k, yesterday went back to KC.. honestly speaking, i shld have gone back on my own instead of as a grp.. of course that doesn't include bumping into old friends lah.. saw berlyn, carolyn, chun hui, michelle and etc.... after so long.. haha.. went a little over hyper when i saw them... haha.. after that went to look for teachers and found most of them and yes, had nice talks with them and well, they're happy to know i'm adapting and doing well in my new school!! and yes, i'm happy too.. after all that happened at the start of the new school year.. lol.. after that came back home and was at home for the rest of the day.. was quite tired lah.. lol... so anyway, as for today.. after a month's break from touching my piano, i'm back for piano lessons.. long long long long time nv touch piano le.. haha.. and i'm so thankful to yen hui jie for being so understanding.. she told me today that only when i think i'm ready den will she let me take exam again and for now, it's just music appreciation and yes ppl, i'm still learning.. lol.. but she say for me to continue, i have to take grade 5 theory and practical.. hmmm.. i may take bah.. but if it's like exam every year, i guess at least grade 5 practical will have to wait after my year 3 unless i just intend to play for the fun of it and really not continue.. but owells, i dun noe.. that will really have to depend how busy and how often i can practice in the future bah?? but for now, since i'm on holiday, i guess my house will keep hearing piano music coming from me.. lol.. cannot depend on angel.. lol.. kk, anywae, keep the post "short".. gotta go... bye!! :)))
yen hui jie, thx for being so understanding... :))

thank you thank you thank you thank you to all those who celebrated my birthday with me this year!! really enjoyed myself today!! :) here's what happened....

after BA1 exam, the gals(minus of ming li) and i went tampines to celebrate my birthday.. zi wei, cheryl, justin, rachel and nabilah went too and being naive and blur, i tot they really just went tampines for lunch and nothing else.. so with the 1st grp of ppl, we went century sq for lunch.. me, xiao min and da jie went TM at first cause angeline and yee sin went to buy something but because later angeline and yee sin were at century sq, we headed there.. so we ordered lunch and stuff and ate.. den yee sin signaled to one of the waiter and he brought out a cake.. lol.. the 2 of them bought a cake to celebrate my birthday!! so touched sia.. but the cake was too much for the 5 of us to finish so since they wanted me to bring the cake home, i took the cake along with me.. den angeline hurried us to go to the open space at TM level 4.. she say she want to go dere take picture.. couldn't quite understand but din ask and neither did i suspect anything.. went there and saw zi wei, cheryl, rachel, nabilah and justin waiting there for us.. lol!! they also bought a mint cake, hoping to celebrate my birthday too!! so yes, cut the cake again and the unfinished mocha cake.. the next thing i knew, angeline just smashed the cake into my face!! lol!! i was like.. wth.. but wasn't angry.. so went to wash up.. my hair smelt like choc and so did my shirt.. after that, they insisted that i eat a piece of the mint cake but before i could do anything, rachel smashed the piece of cake into my face and yes, i ate a little bit of mint.. yucks!! really taste like colgate!! so went to wash up again.. and cause my shirt was quite bad, wanted to change out.. so after that, we took some pics and den we left and it was only left with me, angeline and xiao min.. so we went shopping for clothes and the 3 of us bought a shirt alike!! and they paid for my shirt so yes, that's the birthday present!! :))) den we continued shopping and in the end, the 3 of us bought a bag each.. and the bag was similar and only mine and angeline's were of the same colour.. lol!! so one day, we'll wear the same shirt to sch with the same bag!! lol!! after that, they left and i waited for tracy.. lol!!

shopped at TIMES with tracy den went Macs to get a drink before gg to the arcade to slack.. den tracy went for dinner and i accompanied her cause i was more of tired than hungry.. after that, we wanted to take neoprints but cause tracy said not nice, we din take so we left TM and headed home.. felt quite sorry towards tracy cause i ended our meet earlier.. sry!! on the way home, someone smsed me and made me rather happy~~ angeline hinted that person that's why that person guessed that today was my birthday but i guess if it wasn't for angeline, i dun think i would be this happy!! so a big big big thank you to angeline!! but in conclusion, a big thank you to all these ppl who made my day memorable: TRACY, ANGELINE, DA JIE, YEE SIN, XIAO MIN, RACHEL, NABILAH, CHERYL, ZI WEI and JUSTIN.. and to all those who msged and wished me: HUI YEE, CAROLYN, CHERLYN AND ALL THE MANY MANY MANY MORE!! too many names to be mentioned so all in all, a big thank you!!!! :::))))

just felt like blogging.. haha.. ok, that's too... sudden to start my post.. lol!! anywae, this week was a sucky week for me.. friendship with a fren turned sour over an idol[that i dunno wad's so great about him other than good-looking and can sing].. ok, this is my blog so i guess i can talk crap here and if you're not happy den get lost... honestly speaking, i feel that yes, we both had our wrongs that nite.. but hey, weren't you not petty over this, getting upset and crying over it?? ok, yes, i admit that if today it was xiezhi and the grp came over and she got chosen, i would feel terrible but hey, i wun pull a long face and ignore you after that.. i mean, pls get a life?? and i know you wun be reading this cause u dun have my blog's address that's why i dun give a damn and write my tots here... ok, i may hurt u by writing this but let's be honest, i'm saying this from my heart and it's wad i really feel and think.. i hope u din go round telling people how evil i was to do this to you and shit but pls be mature[although u're 2 years older than me], count on ur poor luck? everyone and anyone who attended that concert has a right to be his princess although i dun give a damn cause he's not my style.. and you ought to know who i really like... so pls, get a life will you??

and stop pretending you're really cute.. sometimes it irritates me to see you acting cute.. not saying that i dun do it but hey, act ur age will you?? i'm not saying i'm not acting my age when i act cute but i do it to the right person who acts back too.. and pls stop asking people to say you're cute.. being your mei mei doesn't mean i have to always listen to you.. i've got my opinions and my priniciples... ok, you want to talk rite?? let's talk but stop ignoring this till after exams.. i'd rather get it over and done with and den focus on my exams.. not saying that i'm not focusing on them now but this will be a stone weighing on me until we talk things out.. mayb not me, but you.. i'll only choose to listen and not say a word unless it's necessary cause it's not me who wants to talk things out.. you chose it.. so if you think you wanna talk, you'll do the talking and i'll listen and i'll talk if i think there's a need.. ok, tat's all i have to say..

just had a sudden urge to blog after reading my dear god-bro's blog on a post he entered last year... suddenly so many tots surfaced... it happened last year... and for the past few mths, i realised i've changed a lot.. i seldom argue with my parents even though i still do but take it this wae, the arguements have become lesser... although i still do a little whining here and there but tell me frankly and honestly, haven't i changed mentally?? haven't i grown up?? i dun wish to sae this but i'll be honest, i still cry at night when i miss her.. i still want to mention her in my conversations although it's painful yet i dun wanna really really admit she's no longer around.. just mentioning her will make me feel that she's still around.. but we all know the real fact... special occasions just remind me of her... the most recent one?? my cousin's birthday celebration.. the upcoming one?? my birthday celebration.. i nv expected that last year's birthdays would be the last time she celebrated with us be it mine or my cousins or sisters... i won't know whether i'll cry again this coming christmas but i know she'll wan us to be strong.. it seems very long since she left yet recalling the mths, it's only close to 8 mths.. is it long or is it short?? but i know if i do cry again this year, it'll just show how fast time flies and it's a year gone.. many things happened yet all this made us even more stronger and more mature.. but i just realised that hey, within the next few years, i'll mature even more and be a stronger person.. owells.. GOD has his plans for all of us... and i TRUST in HIM.. :)

i shouldn't have entered her blog and read that damn post... the feeling of being guilty and that selfishness is back... really... mayb i really think i tink too much and stuff and being over-sensitive but this time round, i felt i am being rather unconsiderate even after deciding to exchange... argh!! but this is human's nature isn't it?? all humans are selfish but in a different way?? am i not wrong to say this?? or am i in the wrong? i really dunno.. but i really shouldn't have read her blog.. if i din read her blog, i guess i wun be feeling this way now.. but i really wan to tell this fren even though i know she may not read my blog:

it's not on intention that i dun wanna exchange with ur grp
just that i felt it was fair to draw lots
if you din get that time slot, u can only blame ur luck
so dun go round telling people how some people are just freakingly selfish and inconsiderate
i know it may not be me but i get the hint
i was part of the other grp who din quite wan to change
but when i wanted, ur grp changed alr
so stop saying some ppl are &%@%$!@#!@$!$
cause i believe even if you dun show it, you are one of a kind too

sorry about that but just felt somehow uncomfortable.. lol!!

yes yes, i know, it's has been a long long long long long time since i last blogged.. tot my computer couldn't sign me into but haha, i tried and yes, i'm blogging.. isn't it obvious?? lol!! i think this will be a long long long post.. anywae, just finished busying myself with all the projects! and finally all projects are over!! yeah!! happy happy! but there's the last presentation to go which i wish i dun have to present and i hate... bleah! argh!!! but happy thing is that i dun have to go to school on 17th cause got no class!! lol.. and because of some incident that happen today, i feel super guilty until i talked to dear ting about it!! thx girl! nice of you to listen!! hopefully can catch up with you soon after exams!!

anywae, things doing fine both at home and in school!! suddenly being able to blog, just leaves me at a loss for words.. dunno wad to write and even if write already, dunno whether ppl still interested in reading.. well, wun type a lot bah... if u ppl out there are still reading my blog, why not you leave a tag and i'll continue updating my blog!! lol!!till then, tata!! :)

haven updated for quite some time already.. mayb cause i've started writing a diary so everything goes into my diary.. lol! anywae, spent the recent weekends rather sadly and a little angrily cause of some stupid people.. if i've told you about it, you'll know who i'm talking about.. long story on how i got angry and upset with so i shan't comment on it.. -.- having lessons now.. but quite bored so updating my blog.. lol! haiz.. it's hard to forget but i know i can if i managed to forget nicholas.. it'll take time but i can do it.. lol! but the person's still on my mind.. so yikes! will i ever forget?? i really don't know.. anywae, will update another day when i find my blog dying! lol! oh, just a mention, i did well for my mid sem tests!! yeah! WELL DONE MARIANNE!! :)

taipei trip part 2

do a quick post before lesson starts! lol

day 3, 18th June, Monday

went to wu lai for hot springs in the morning. was there for lunch and only left at abt 2 plus. went to danshui after that after making a series of changes. the view was wow! quite nice. bought quite a lot of snacks back for loved ones at home. then, we went back to the hotel to rest before heading to hua xi night market. oh! and from xindian(wu lai) to danshui, i slept in the train.. and according to sisters, this guy drew a portrait of me.. lol.. and no, i din get that portrait.. -.-

day 4, 19th june, tuesday

lazed the morning at the hotel. went to xi men ding again to buy more gifts for friends etc... after that, we went to shilin and yes, all my remaining money was spent and used up there. bought pineapple cakes and bracelets there.. and yes, we went back to the jewellery shop and still can't believe the ppl there are super duper friendly... lol! headed back to the hotel after that and the sisters started packing.. lugguage was bursting and heavy lah with all the things we bought.. haha..

day 5, 20th june, wednesday

our last day at taipei. sisters went to the cathedral to take pictures of the mural while i stayed at the hotel, watching tv.. lol!! after that, we checked out and went to have lunch.. steamboat but it wasn't as nice as the one at wu lai.. after lunch, went to do a bit more window shopping and den proceeded to the airport. pat lost her earring there and was rather upset but i think she got over it alr.. lol.. took the plane back to sg and we were quite noisy in the plane.. haha.. funny things happened.. too lazy to type it out.. haha..

and now, i'm back in school.. really miss taipei lah.. i'm still in the holiday mood though.. lol!! hope to go back to taipei real soon!! lol!! :)

taipei trip part 1

hey folks! using the internet at the hotel in taipei while my sisters are out buying some food to eat. din go cause i just showered. lol. anyway, here's an update on my trip to taipei. short one. and is only the first part of my trip. shall update the rest another day after i return back to singapore tmr nite.. lol.. post is rather long but will try to split my trip into parts so it's easier to read.. folks, enjoy my story:

day 1: 16th june, sat
woke up at 5.45 am to do last minute packing of toiletries and stuff and to get ready to take off to the airport.. was rather excited esp. this is my first time to taipei and it's been abt 5 yrs since i last took the airplane.. so lol.. journey was abt 4 1/2 hrs frm singapore to taipei so in btw, i slept on the plane and watched movies and played computer games on the SIA plane. but the computer games were not much fun... lol. reached taipei at abt 1 plus and we headed down to the hotel, City Suites, after collecting our luggage and avoiding the dog at the baggage collection area. then smth happened quite funny and it's a long story. if you wanna know, ask me and i'll tell you.. after leaving our luggage and stuff, we headed down to shilin. that was our first stop and we tot that the shilin night market was pathetic until we found the real shilin night market and from there, we bought some bracelets and earrings from there. the owner of the shop or stall was very friendly.. told us whr to go, how to get there, wad must eat and wad food is simply, so-so.. after walking till our legs were tired, we headed back to the hotel and yup, that was the end of the first day.. lol

day 2: 17th june, sun
woke up at 5 plus and the sun was already up like singapore's 9am.. and the curtains weren't drawn so yah.. but went back to sleep although i din quite sleep well.. anywae, after breakfast, headed down to church for mass before going down to xi men ding. being sunday, xi men ding was naturally crowded just like singapore's orchard road.. shopped around, had lunch and snow ice. bought a pair of jeans on the second day, a leather bracelet and i think that was it. went to wu fen pu in the evening and gotten a white cardigan which i tot was sweet. and den, went down to raohe night market and it was simply like a maze. was rather tired at the end of the day cause of all that walking.. haha..

will stop at day 2 for now. story will continue as taipei trip part 2 and at day 3. so keep coming to my blog for more updates on my trip esp. if it's hard for us to keep in touch. so yah! will update soon!! lol!! gotta go. tata. see you back in singapore in abt 23 hrs time!! :)

it's been 2 weeks since i last updated.. lol.. haha.. anywae, tests are over! finally! today was the last day of our tests and the 1st day of our holiday. went out with angeline, xiao min, jacelyn, ming li etc after the test.. went to vivo city.. had quite a lot of fun with them today.. watched shrek 3 with them and a few other gals and guys from my class.. enjoyed myself today but am now real tired. nearly fell asleep during the movie.. haha... but really enjoyed myself! thx girls for keeping me company today and sry to let you ppl come over to my hse after the test for a while. but think you all enjoyed 'invading' my hse bah? haha.. hopefully can go out again with them during the hols and pls project grp members, dun disturb me during the hols unless it's really necessary.. haha. owells.. anywae, found a new person i'm interested in.. someone from my class.. but currently dun wanna think too much about it.. afterall, i've got abt 3 more terms to get to know him better.. lol.. owells.. anywae, can't wait for my long-awaited holiday in taipei! yes! haha.. will buy things back as sovenier for angeline, xiao min, yee sin, ming li and jacelyn and mayb him bah? shall see how.. lol.. ok, gtg..

read my sister's blog. yup, she's gone for 5 months now. tears somehow welled up in my eyes as i was reading it, and you know wad? i'm currently in school. typing this. sometimes i wonder, is she listening to us? is she praying for us now that she's a step closer to God. mayb she does hear us and does pray for us. time will heal all wounds, i guess. but it won't be so soon.. well, at least for me. ok, back to lessons.

my computer's lagging.. again. argh. can't seem to blog using my account. so currently using my mum's account to do my blogging. sch seems fine now. still settling down. yes, i adapt very slowly to new changes, new environment. but frens made are fun to be with. busy week this week. projects all slowly surfacing. meeting up in school to discuss project and stuff. so rather tired this week. dunno why also as compared to the other weeks. fell sick last week. was down with high fever on wed night, slight fever on thurs. fever went down completely on last fri and was on mc that day. but the cough still doesn't seem to go awae. still coughing but seems slightly better todae after visiting the doc on wed after csa class. like dots, i'm on medication again. how nice. -.- almost half a year has come and is soon going. mum, dad and angel leaving for rome next mon. so this will practically leave me alone at home during the day when the sisters are all at work. how nice. hopefully the tears dun come back again. KC's family day is next sat. will be helping out with mum and can't wait! can like finally get to see some classmates again like berlyn, caroline and gang! hopefully tracy will go back. haven seen her for a month or so and i miss her lotsa. as in back at those days, she was the one who would go crazy and we would yak away on 56. but now? hardly tok to her. either she's busy or i'm busy. so really hoping to see her back at KC. of course, looking forward to see others too! hoping they'll go back that day! haha. ok, time to move on and get my research done for my comm skills in-class assignment.

the tears have somehow stopped. but i'm still feeling scared, uneasy, insecure and stressed. scared, uneasy and insecure by the various things taking place and stressed by the online lecture notes and stuff. but all in all, i'm still slowly adapting. i still need time. everyday when i go to school, smses will be sent to my sisters and my mum. so i guess i still can sae, i'm still not exactly looking forward to school. but den again, school so far has been more or less quite interesting. ok, yes, i'm contradicting myself. hopefully tmr will be ok esp. when mum leaves home to go to school. after this week, i'm just hoping mum dun go to school on wed then i'll be fine. then again, mum has to be in school early on thurs and fri so chances is, she'll leave the hse earlier than me, leaving me to lock up or we leave the same time. of course, i'm hoping to leave the same time then i wun think too much. i mean, everytime for these few days, each time i'm alone at home, i tend to think too much. so just hoping that after a few more weeks, things will just get better for me. owells...

i've been crying over the last few days. as a result, my eyes are all a little red and swollen. reason being, poly has started. i'm so scared. although this week only has lectures, but it still scares me. i'm so scared i can't cope with tutorials and with project and group work. i'm so scared i can't fit in. i'm so scared of everything. i'm trying my best to not cry everyday and at least look forward to school. but wad's happening is however the opposite. i cry everyday and instead of looking forward to school, i'm looking forward to lessons ending and being able to go home. hopefully with time, this will all be the opposites. today so happen to be my one and only free day for this week. no lab class. ever since my aunt left us, i've been closer to my family members. as a result, i'm being homesick each time i go to school. tmr's thursdae. lesson in the morning till afternoon 2 pm with an hr break in btw so mayb it wun be too bad except when i'm gg to sch. but i can't say about fri. when i come home and shower after my 1st lesson during the 3 hr break, my mum leaves the hse and i'm left alone at home again till 1 plus. and then i'm back at school. haiz.. this is just scaring me and giving me a lot of stress. hopefully things get better.

during my orientation, i was badly homesick.. it was just so bad till i nearly wanted to cry.. just sort of missed home.. afterall, 5 mths since i haven attended school so guess will just have to slowly adapt to sch life again.. takes time, i guess.. made some new friends esp. those from my class.. real nice people but maybe cause i'm not close to them yet, i find it hard to talk to them but time... anywae, if anyone has a remedy for homesickness, pls tell me! i'll need to cure my homesickness fast! haha.. timetable wise, isn't much of a hectic.. still quite manageable.. but cause it's week 1, no tutorials only lectures so next week, mon to wed, i only go to sch in the afternoon for 2 hrs a day.. so mayb it wun be that bad but the later the lessons, the more i dun feel like gg at all.. but when the tutorials come in, i guess it wun be that bad lah.. as for thurs and fri, lessons till 2p.m for thurs and 4 p.m for fri.. so actually, more or less, i'll still be able to watch some of my fave shows so i doubt it'll be that bad.. will update again when sch proper starts..

my computer's lagging badly or is the system just getting on my nerves?? took so long just to load a page.. blogger got me irritated the last few days.. argh! anywae, was out with the girls on saturdae.. had fun with them doing shopping.. they got what they wanted and i got what i wanted so it was quite enjoyable! well, partly cause this would be the last time out shopping together esp. now that they've started poly and the next time out would be ages later... so was overall happy with my gain that afternoon.. met up for dinner with my dear long sisters and little cousin.. tired sort of overtook me and i was a little irritated with my cousin that evening for a little little while.. i become easily irritated if i'm out the whole day without any rest. hopefully it just gets better when school starts on monday officially... owells.. orientation's tmr.. not very enthusiastic about it but would love it if i get my timetable tmr.. den i can pon half a day on fridae.. yes, me poning orientation when i've never poned sec school b4.. haha.. it's so... unbelievable.. of course, plans to pon school will only be confirmed after tmr and on friday.. things will have to depend on how the orientation goes tmr.. if it's fun and enjoyable, den mayb i wun pon afterall.. if not, heehee.. i'll come home and sleep.. guess will be rather tired tmr.. owells.. actually i'm both excited and nervous when school starts.. after all that holiday-ing, it's time to get down to serious business and i'm gonna work real hard for the next 3 years.. hopefully there's still a chance for me to go university to get a degree.. lol.. a degree is better than a diploma so since i can, why not work hard and hopefully end up in the uni??? wun that be better?? and also, i dun wanna waste mum's money.. so yup, it just all boils down to one thing: work hard! lol... hopefully i'll make new friends tmr and enjoy myself and dun think abt *****... haha... :p