latest update abt my hand.. haha.. for those who wanna know, dun worry.. my hand is recoving well.. the elbow hurts a little occasionally but is quite itchy.. according to mum, she says that if it's itchy, it means that the wound is healing.. so i guess it really is healing and doing fine.. so not to worry!! i was brave enough to take a look at the elbow yesterday when i went back for my checkup and dressing.. i thought it was 5 stiches.. but heehee, i was wrong.. it's 3 stiches only.. so i guess it's not too bad.. at least the cyst is removed once and for all and it won't get bigger already.. lol.. my doctor said everything's going well.. just have to keep the wound clean.. will be back at the doctor again next saturday to remove the stiches.. lol.. not going to see!! btw, i think i scared my frens off with the sudden bandage of my hand.. haha.. anyway, here's the pictorial form of my hand, starting with day 1:


my hand in bandages just after the surgery at the clinic.. heehee.. it's also the picture i sent to those at home and some close friends.. haha...


this was taken yesterday at home.. after the bandage was removed.. it got me itching.. lol..


heehee.. this was today after i showered.. had to change the dressing and apply my cream.. gross huh?? lol.. my first minor surgery in 2008.. hopefully this will be the last till i have my own child.. haha... u know what i mean.. lol...

anyway, i'm entering my last week of the holidays already! so fast.. although i'm bored at home, with nothing to do, i don't exactly feel like starting school yet.. lol.. well, but i guess that's natural.. but really, i can't wait for timetable to be out.. at least i will then know if i got any friends in the same class as me, be it for core class or the CDS class.. lol.. hopefully i'll end up with someone i know.. heehee... when school start, i guess i'll be blogging lesser and come online less often as well.. not everyday but maybe once in every 2-3 days.. can't help it, but school's more important.. plus projects and tutorials.. oh gosh, how am i ever able to look forward to school??!! lol.. ok, cyaz ard.. :)

take a look at my hand first..



basically, it's a minor surgery i went to remove a cyst on my elbow.. yes, marianne, the girl who is scared of injections, went for a surgery involving needles and the surgery knife.. how nice... somehow i overcome my fear and went for the surgery.. it's just to get rid of the cyst which was irritating me.. lol.. so yes, i'm now injured.. heehee.. not sure how to go round doing my daily activities.. just tying my hair is a problem.. so is changing.. haiz.. going back to the doc to get a new bandage and next saturday to remove the stiches.. yes, my elbow was stiched which means there would be a scar.. to guys out there, if you mind my scar on my elbow, kindly get lost or just go and die.. lol.. more updates when my hand is slightly better... :)

back a few hours ago from grand-godpa's funeral.. tired out.. a lot of things happened recently to those around me and each time an event like that happens, we will only then realise the importance of our family members when faced with experiences with death.. i've been through it once and i know how tired the family of the late can get and the pain they are feeling.. i teared a little today and although we wasn't exactly that close, yet he touched my life in the things he has done and the things he believed.. it has really been tiring for his family members and i pray that with God's mercy, they will continue to stay strong cause i believe, that's what he would want them to be... :) ok, sch's starting in 2 weeks time... drats..

whee!! back abt an hr or so already from my outing with tracy, li ting and fiona.. haha.. had a lot of fun and laughter.. so tired.. enjoyed myself really.. hadn't seen li ting and fiona for very long already!! and we were busy catching up with each other.. lol.. i updated fiona about me and him.. well, even she thinks that he shouldn't have treated me that way a month ago.. but owells, it's really over btw me and him.. dun wish to dwell on him anymore.. even though he's the 1st guy to make me realise how much i like him.. :S overall, i had lotsa of fun today!! read the other gals' blogs to find out more in detailed.. a bit lazy to type out.. heehee... here's some pics for today!!

me just before i left the house!!

me and ting while waiting for our food!! lol...

the 4 of us at BK camwhoring.. haha.. :)

me and fiona on the train back home..

the ending photo to today's outing.. i love this photo a lot!! credits to ting.. :)

short reflection again.. although i happily enjoyed myself today, i couldn't help but reflect on what happened recently in my life.. a lot of things happened recently to my loved ones at home, be it directly or indirectly.. godma and her family were affected and now, i guess dad's been affected.. afterall, that old man was his godpa, was my grand-godpa.. we all would be naturally affected one way or another.. i guess now that he's gone, i will miss the last times i talked to him.. and his asking of which one of us sisters have boyfriend or when are we getting married?? lol.. mum told me a few things about grand-godpa.. how he reacted when he heard ah yi passed away.. how he said that why should the younger generation go first instead of him, an old man.. i guessed he really wanted to return back to God and how ready he was to take his place in Jesus' kingdom.. he left in peace, i guess.. back to his maker... to this old man, i think i really would miss him.. i tot i wouldn't be much affected but i guess i was wrong.. although i have never lived with him, but the encounters with him have made me love this old man dearly and somehow, unknowingly.. really.. but i know that no matter how unwilling we are to let this old man go, we all know that he is happy to return to God, to Jesus and i'm sure ah yi will welcome him back... :)

grand-godpa, you'll be dearly missed by all of us.. we will miss you for sure esp. your own family and daddy.. :)

another event that will be affecting all of us at home again.. grand-godpa passed awae due to old age this morning... hmm.. what should i say other than repeating myself again?? i thought his death came quite sudden.. but we never know what God has in store for us.. just like what happened in the past, we never know when we will be called back to God, our maker.. it can be today, tomorrow, a month later or years later.. we all never know.. but one thing i choose to know is that i trust in God.. that everything he does has a reason.. even taking our loved ones back to HIS home.. therefore, i trust in HIM cause he knows what is best for us...

to end of this post, i asked my mum this question, will the death rate in Singapore increase this year?? lol..

just like what my msn nick says... now i know why they're not calling me.. mum checked out the reason behind to why they're not calling me to go in despite being in need of relief teachers.. all because the school clerk thinks that having to verify records and stuff are all so troublesome.. i wonder if she's just being pure lazy or what.. does having to do verification need so much time?? =.= if all school clerks think like her, i can forget about working as a relief teacher even when it comes to my next long holiday.. i mean it.. drats.. haiz.. what to do??

owells.. we were just talking about working just now while preparing dinner.. lol.. i somehow just feel i don't suit office jobs.. really.. haiz.. really don't know how i'm going to survive my 3 months internship next year.. somehow, this is one of the reasons why i felt i made the wrong choice in studying this course.. but then again, what xiezhi said yesterday on tv just struck a chord in me.. i have never perservered at all in office jobs.. longest just being 3-4 days.. and like what he said, if you never perservered, how do you know if you're meant for that job.. ok, i know i'll end up contradicting myself but i somehow agree with what he actually said.. how do i know if i suit office jobs if i've never tried perservering in office jobs?? but i guess the problem just lies with me.. i know the concept yet i'm not applying it.. i'm just scared that i really don't like what lies in store for me.. yet i can't possibly stay home all day the next long holiday.. doing relief teaching isn't exactly a 'stable' part-time job cause you don't know when they'll call and whether they'll ever call.. office jobs, hmm, maybe i'll consider it when i do my SIP but will it be too late?? cause it's a must to complete my SIP.. will i hang in there?? sales job?? i'm a lazy person.. don't want to go far to work.. would rather work nearby.. if this carries on, i really don't know what to do.. can someone just give me some faith in office jobs?? ahh!! i need help man..

hmm.. another reflection again.. lol.. it seems that being single has an advantage, if you would consider it to be one, would be that you dun have to think about whether or not your other half's parents like you or not or approve to you and him or her being together.. would that be an advantage?? i mean, being single, all it takes is spending more time with your family and nothing major to consider abt rgd relationships but being attached is totally different.. it's more than just spending time not only with ur family but with ur other half, and also getting the approval by both families.. and even getting approval doesn't just mean a full-stop to the problems.. it may just be the beginning only.. owells.. maybe i'm thankful for being single at this point in time.. at least i don't have to worry and think for my partner now.. maybe in the future, i'll be that girlfriend thinking for her boyfriend, worrying for his studies, the approval of his parents etc.. but for now, i'm thankful for the life i'm living now.. :)

blog blog blog!! let's blog abt.. today!! finally met up with dear tracy!! like after 6 months!! *gasps* that's very long lor.. haha... lol.. and she say i become chio bu.. haha.. thank you hor!! lol.. p.s: i actually only started to da ban da ban ever since i entered poly.. haha.. influenced by friends lah.. heehee.. so we went to bugis.. had prawn mee and started our shopping spree.. walked around bugis looking for clothes and shops.. haha... fun but tired and hot!! the result of our shopping spree was super fruitful!! trace got her bag, sweater, shorts, belt etc.. as for me, heehee, i got my new pair of skinny jeans and... my *finally, after so long* jumper!! i so love my jumper!! it's so nice!! and i'm glad i bought it.. hehe... can wear for church, school and even meetings with frens!! haha.. so love it!! :)

took neoprints with tracy too!! gosh, the aircon was just the thing we needed and wanted after shopping at bugis village!! was so hot and sweaty.. we love the aircon at bugis junction after our shopping spree, don't we?? can u believe it?? we went in the afternoon and we got all so hot.. whatsmore at night?? and worse if there's no wind!! haha... then it was camwhore time!! took pics with my phone.. haha.. haiz, dun say anymore.. enjoy the rest of the post with the best pics we took!! :)

we've got a secret but only the two of us know.. lol.. *do we have a secret?? haha...*

i just love this friend to bits!! heehee.. and lastly...

the pic we both like lots!! haha...

anyway, had lotsa of fun with tracy today!! looking forward to next wk with the addition of ting and fiona to the pic!! :)

hmm... sudden reflection again.. got back from a wake not too long ago and well, this post is on my reflection:

it's quite surprising on how we tend to treasure life and those around us after an upset event has happened... we tend to take things for granted.. we do not know how to cherish our loved ones until something happened.. for me, that was something i've learnt abt 1 year and few months back after what happened.. it was a blow to me and that day, i couldn't accept it.. no tears, nothing.. didn't know exactly how i should feel.. and i guess maybe that was how Godma and they felt yesterday?? to them, they may have felt prepared but for us, it wasn't.... godma said this today: 'children, treasure ur parents before it's too late...' this somehow struck a chord in me.. yes, we ought to treasure them before it's too late.. i mean, our parents have done a lot for us, their children, and shouldn't us, being their children, do something for them and treasure them?? it just makes sense doesn't it.. i guess this incident will make me learn again.. learn not to take things for granted and to cherish those around us, parents, siblings or even friends..

i've been through the pain of losing a loved one forever.. i don't want to go through it again.. or at least not at this moment.. i had a bad dream that day.. not a good one.. and i don't want history to repeat itself.. i'm afraid of losing someone else.. i won't know what i'll do if it happens.. but Lord, not at this time yet, ok?? to all my friends: treasure those around you before it's toooo late... treasure and cherish them now and i promise, you won't regret when they leave ur life one day... :)

after a short chat with a fren online, i suddenly had this reflection, not only for myself but also for them, i guess in some way or another...

it makes me happy to know that slowly and gradually, close frens of mine, mostly from sec sch, are getting attached.. whether or not the other half is their mr right, i'm happy for them to have found someone who likes them and they like other than their family members.. for some, they had to go through obstacles and worries before they can be together and for others, they're still experiencing obstacles even after being together for some time already.. however, there are also some who feel that their other half doesn't suit them and end their relationship while others may be having problems within that relationship.. so it actually still mean to say that even after you're together, there are still problems that you will face be it now or in the future.. and even before you can be together, you may have to undergo obstacles first before you can be together.. no matter what, all these problems and obstacles are just testing your love for each other.. although we can let nature take its course, but on the other hand, shouldn't we do some actions to gain our own happiness?? well, that is if you feel that he's the special one for you.. :)

talking about others, what about me? at this point in time, i'm also not very sure.. yes, i've agreed to give him up and let go.. i'm tired of thinking whether or not i'll end up in a relationship with guy A or guy B.. it just tires me out.. but i'm not against meeting new frens of the opposite gender.. it just broadens my social circle and some way or another, increase my chances of getting hitched.. but that is beyond my control.. i'm tired of thinking on the positive side and hurt myself indirectly.. it just feels like a burden to me after all that had happened.. i'm not sure if being in a relationship is what i want now although i know that even if i'm attached, i won't neglect my studies.. but is this what i really want?? i really don't know.. mayb it is, mayb it isn't.. let's hope i just meet that right guy next semester in year 2.. that's all i can wish for, i guess.. but i don't think i'll ever take the initiative to express my feelings again if i'm not sure of how the guy feels towards me.. yes, although i may be brave but i don't wanna get hurt again, if you know what i mean... :)

owells.. hopefully things go smoothly for me and i'll be able to find THE ONE.. will i?? just where is my ONE?? :S

homebound this week.. lol.. one, no money so can't go anywhere.. 2nd, it's Holy Week.. don't wanna go out and be so tired after that.. and ever since i've finished exams, i've been gg out so this week, i shall stay home and be good.. but i'm gg down to TM to get some CATS stuff for TJ lesson.. so yup.. spent quite a lot of money last week.. and gosh, i think the effect of hanging out with angeline is starting to show.. lol.. why?? i've started to spend money on clothes and stuff.. and one thing/clothing i wanna get the next time i'm out shopping would be a new pair of jeans.. and tat would be at bugis street with tracy!! lol.. owe her her present so i'll have to go with her one day to bugis to get it.. and mayb shop for a pair of jeans!! lol.. and i also wanna go k box!! but i guess that would be in another 2 weeks time when i've arranged a time with tracy.. next week seems to be fully packed already.. lol.. here's my schedule for next week, beginning on easter sunday:

sun - GP's birthday celebration, chalet day 1
mon - chalet
tues - neighbourhood mass[evening]
wed - day out with tracy or godma [tentative]
thurs - day out with sherlyn and angeline
fri - day out with tracy or godma [tentative]

see how packed my next week will be?? lol.. owells.. but i'm not so afraid lah.. cause i'll have extra allowance since i'm not gg out this week.. so lol.. heehee.. :)

back from my outing not too long ago.. haiz.. another one tmr.. tummy upset and feeling so tired.. just dun feel like gg.. owells.. will update another day.. :S

got back my results abt 2 days ago.. hmmm.. not that bad i would say but i'm somehow a little disappointed in my results.. i guess i would have mayb scored better for my GPA if it wasn't for my OB grade.. but owells, it's over.. i shall just leave the unhappy memories of year 1 behind and look forward to year 2.. and of course, work harder.. haha..

went out with mama and mum yesterday.. had jap for lunch.. yummy.. eat until quite full.. but went shopping for angeline's present with angel at TM after that and gave angeline a surprise.. haha.. came home, showed pat her present.. and pat asked if i was dating angeline.. lol.. like no way... she's taken by a nice guy and i'm straight.. can't i have very good frens like tracy??!! haha.. it's funny when my sisters ask me such a question.. well, i'm intending to get married and have kids u know?? lol..

will be going out in abt 2 hrs time.. meeting my dear gf.. going shopping with her and have dinner.. but i dun think i'll be home very late tonite.. haha.. owells.. meeting her again tmr with the other gals and i'm somehow not looking towards tmr.. for some reasons but.. owells.. i'm letting go so that i can live better and not because i wanna give them a 2nd chance or smth.. i'm just torturing myself like that.. so why not free myself from all that torture and let go?? haha... in this case, i'm only referring to the 4 gals..

owells.. gotta go offline soon.. need to shower and get ready to go out.. need to go to the bank first.. update my bank book again.. haiz.. poor me.. ok, will update soon again!! :)

hmm.. seems that now my laptop can let me blog, wad did i just say abt blogging more often?? haha.. let's do a late nite post tonite den..

was basically at home the whole day today.. one, the rain just somehow spoilt my mood of gg out.. every time i look at the sky, it alwaes seems to be dark and gloomy.. haiz.. so sian.. but i guess that just doesn't stop me from making plans to go out with best friends.. haha.. meeting angeline on friday and saturday.. friday to celebrate her birthday wif her.. an early celebration on my part lah.. looking forward to our 3rd date together after the holidays have started.. haha.. the 1st was when she accompanied me to the IT fair and 2nd was on monday.. haha.. lol.. saturday to celebrate the other girl's birthday but just don't seem to be looking forward to it even though angeline is gg as well.. mayb it's because of those incidents that took place.. mayb like wad he said, to let go.. and only when i let go, will i be able to forgive them and move on.. but the problem is, i can't seem to let go no matter how willing i am.. it's those memories tat they gave me lah.. just wish they can disappear from my life.. hopefully i'm not so suai to end up in the same class as any one of them in yr 2, will i??

actually planning to meet tracy tmr.. but then, the weather was another factor that made me reconsider my decision.. and also because i'm broke alr.. no money so can't get her present for her yet.. will have to wait till after easter and i'm not planning to go out next week so that would mean i've got extra 40 bucks to spend the following week with tracy.. haha.. hopefully i manage my budget well enough.. i hope i do... dun overspend my budget can liao.. lol.. ;p

owells.. i guess i'll stop here for now.. starting to feel a little tired.. will try to sleep soon after a cup of milo.. haha.. have been having problems sleeping since after exams.. strange but owells.. i believe if i continue to try and tire myself out, i will be able to fall asleep without much problems.. p.s exam results release tmr/thurs!! strange but i can't wait to get back my results.. lol.. :) will update again after i know my results.. haha.. :) nights everyone..

i guess i'll be updating more often nw that i have my laptop!!! haha... slept quite late last nite.. was talking to him online.. surprisingly, we chatted more than what i expected.. haha.. chatted quite a bit although in the end, we concluded that although we are somehow different in character and our beliefs, we still can be friends and we ARE friends.. haha.. and we were talking about the both of us.. he must have been glad to know that i'm letting go.. and the funny thing is, we were actually talking abt the gals and he just said letting go and i asked him in which area is he referring to.. so he just said mayb in trying to forget him... and so, i told him my POV and wow, he actually agreed with what i said.. haha.. owells.. even though we can't be together as a couple, mayb for us, it wld be good to stay as friends.. and hopefully, we'll be each other's good fren.. i think that would be great if this really happens.. :) but no matter what, i'll treat him as a fren and i'll still be friends with him.. too many reflections when he's involved in my tots..

owells.. was slacking awae at home today.. nothing to do.. so was playing games for a while this afternoon.. when u have nth to do, everything will just be bored to you.. well, i'm not a busy person like him or my other friends.. haha.. hopefully this week gets better and i won't be dat bored.. just hoping friends can ask me out to play, to do window shopping or to chat.. i would be so happy just to do that and get away from home.. haha.. there's CATS tmr.. will be seeing my lovely team of ladies and those darling kids.. although they can be naughty, yet i still love them... who ask me to love kids soo much!! haha... there's piano too.. haiz.. sian.. really dun feel like playing piano and it's not 45 mins tmr.. but 1 1/2 hrs.. i'm just too tired to commit to practising every week esp. now that i'm on holiday.. may propose quitting piano again to mum someday.. although i love music, but i'm losing the interest.. owells.. :S

haha!! i'll be updating my blog on my very own laptop from now onwards!! yeah!! i'm so happy.. like finally.. my own laptop.. haha.. anyway, since the last post till now.. a lot of things happened.. in school and in relationships.. the friendship between us gals just became sour.. purely because of projects and the peer evaluation.. i know they dun read my blog thus i can write it out here.. but then again, this is my blog.. why shld i bother how they think.. in relationships, i've really decided to let go.. reason being, is that he's told me how's he's feeling.. another reason is that i guess it was a good thing that he told me what he said.. cause i'm starting to feel tired waiting for him and trying to change him.. it's really tiring just to wait for him.. so i've decided to give up and let go.. letting go now although will make me feel hurt and pain, but this beats having to let go in the future.. it'll be even more pain and hurtful to me.. so yup, let go... owells.. but i think my tao hua yun quite strong the last few weeks since valentine's day.. have been meeting new guy friends.. haha.. but for now, i'm not thinking that far ahead.. what matters most for personal matters is to try and get over him asap...

the girl seems to be falling sick.. yes, that's me.. i'm so tired from all that hectic lectures, tutorials and project deadlines.. and yes, my blog died a few weeks ago, and it's alive again.. haha.. so fiona, stop the lameness... anyway, projects this semester sucks.. mkt project's due in almost a week's time but we haven really got anything started.. so i sae, my group's so dead meat.. at least OB is somehow doing fine.. thank goodness, i'm not the 'leader' for mkt if not, i'll just die... but den again, being the leader for OB isn't any better when it seems that they're somehow against you, and not very happy with you.. but thank goodness, i've got her and a bunch of dearies that i know i can alwaes turn to and complain to... thx sweeties!! i miss you guys!! =)

but really, i somehow regret being in the same grp.. i mean, get a life.. stop forcing ppl to turn up for projects when they can't or stop asking ppl to not leave early when they have a valid reason.. there's too much complaints abt them which i think cannot be written here due to certain reasons... but my sweeties you can ask me abt them.. lol.. i can just say, i really regret making the wrong choice and doing projects with them.. for now, i can only wish all these projects and presentations can quickly be over so that i can concentrate more on my preparation for exams which i so badly wanna do well..

to my dear sec sch frens:
thanks so much for always answering the phone or calling me back when i so badly need someone to talk to and complain.. thanks for always being there for this girl.. and she really appreciates that even when she knows you all are soooo busy... really love you ppl lots and i miss you!! =)

p.s to all those reading my blog, i'm NOT les.. i'm straight... =)

I'm back to blog again.. lol.. highlighted my hair yesterdae... nice!! haha.. although the colour isn't that that that obvious.. but still, it's nice!! haha... went down to parkway today to find my good friend.. and i did give her a surprise.. lol.. bought my chocs for godma and have given to her already.. hope she'll like the chocs i got her.. haha... =) saw caroline today too in church cause went for memorial mass.. chatted a bit with her.. missed talking to her lah.. miss all my sec sch frens.. esp. my very close frens like her and nicole.. hopefully i'll get to chat with them soon!!

anyway, she left us all a year ago.. a year later, we pray for her.. that she'll continue to be happy with whr she is now.. watching over us.. and we're all still doing well.. although for some of us, it's still painful.. for me, flashbacks frm a year ago still "haunt" me.. i still rmb a year ago.. the incidents and days spent crying till eyes were swollen.. but we've all slowly letting go cause we know she would want us to be happy and not sad just because she isn't around anymore.. she would want us to be happy so that she too will be happy for us frm wherever she is.. i mean, if we think positively, all of us return to Jesus one day.. but it's just a matter of who goes first.. since Jesus called for her first, we ought to be happy that she's now with Jesus, and that one day, we'll all still meet in Heaven.. I've tot things thru and slowly accepting things the way it is now and events that are yet to happen.. accepting the fact that if we dun treasure the chance we haf with our loved ones now, it'll be too late when they're gone.. accepting the fact that life is so unpredictable and that it is really not up to us to control when we stay on this earth and when we return to our maker.. it is HE who decides.. so for the rest of us here, let's continue to live our lives happily so that she'll be happy for us and she can rest in peace.. for those who have yet to lose a loved one, an advice frm someone who have experienced the pain of losing someone, treasure those around u now.. dun wait for a tragedy to happen before you learn, because by then, it'll be all too late.. and you may regret for not treasuring that person before.. i've learnt my lesson through her.. that's why i've changed and treasured those around me.. and it was through her, that i've learnt this.... =)

people, pls cheer that i'm updating.. lol.. have been busy with school.. projects and stuff.. and adding to that, i've got some projects not started and half-way hanging there.. plus mid-sem is coming... -.-''' anyway, dun feel like talking abt school.. let's talk abt more personal.. i din hear wrongly.. i heard correctly and i've asked.. it's his habit.. and i'm starting to continue picking up myself and move on... i nearly dropped back down to that pit but i'm glad i hung in there and cleared things with him.. =) and i feel that we've made quite a bit of improvement this sem.. as in friendship wise and =), i'm smiling.. we talk to each other and stuff.. and yes, i'm moving on... =) ok, i'd better shut this up just in case some people do not understand wad i talking abt.. lol.. owells.. may go back to my books soon.. i need to start revising early if not... =( i know my strengths, that's why i choose to start studying early.. =)

i feel shitty.. i tot i had gotten over it and moved on in life.. but it was all self-deception.. or wadeva you call it.. i tot he left my heart slowly but i was wrong.. mayb like wad S said.. cause i see him in school almost everyday... i really don't know wad to do.. i just stone when i see him.. is this how i really feel or am i just deceiving myself in making myself believe i still like him when the feelings have faded alr?? i really dunno.. can someone tell me??