haha!! i'll be updating my blog on my very own laptop from now onwards!! yeah!! i'm so happy.. like finally.. my own laptop.. haha.. anyway, since the last post till now.. a lot of things happened.. in school and in relationships.. the friendship between us gals just became sour.. purely because of projects and the peer evaluation.. i know they dun read my blog thus i can write it out here.. but then again, this is my blog.. why shld i bother how they think.. in relationships, i've really decided to let go.. reason being, is that he's told me how's he's feeling.. another reason is that i guess it was a good thing that he told me what he said.. cause i'm starting to feel tired waiting for him and trying to change him.. it's really tiring just to wait for him.. so i've decided to give up and let go.. letting go now although will make me feel hurt and pain, but this beats having to let go in the future.. it'll be even more pain and hurtful to me.. so yup, let go... owells.. but i think my tao hua yun quite strong the last few weeks since valentine's day.. have been meeting new guy friends.. haha.. but for now, i'm not thinking that far ahead.. what matters most for personal matters is to try and get over him asap...

the girl seems to be falling sick.. yes, that's me.. i'm so tired from all that hectic lectures, tutorials and project deadlines.. and yes, my blog died a few weeks ago, and it's alive again.. haha.. so fiona, stop the lameness... anyway, projects this semester sucks.. mkt project's due in almost a week's time but we haven really got anything started.. so i sae, my group's so dead meat.. at least OB is somehow doing fine.. thank goodness, i'm not the 'leader' for mkt if not, i'll just die... but den again, being the leader for OB isn't any better when it seems that they're somehow against you, and not very happy with you.. but thank goodness, i've got her and a bunch of dearies that i know i can alwaes turn to and complain to... thx sweeties!! i miss you guys!! =)

but really, i somehow regret being in the same grp.. i mean, get a life.. stop forcing ppl to turn up for projects when they can't or stop asking ppl to not leave early when they have a valid reason.. there's too much complaints abt them which i think cannot be written here due to certain reasons... but my sweeties you can ask me abt them.. lol.. i can just say, i really regret making the wrong choice and doing projects with them.. for now, i can only wish all these projects and presentations can quickly be over so that i can concentrate more on my preparation for exams which i so badly wanna do well..

to my dear sec sch frens:
thanks so much for always answering the phone or calling me back when i so badly need someone to talk to and complain.. thanks for always being there for this girl.. and she really appreciates that even when she knows you all are soooo busy... really love you ppl lots and i miss you!! =)

p.s to all those reading my blog, i'm NOT les.. i'm straight... =)

I'm back to blog again.. lol.. highlighted my hair yesterdae... nice!! haha.. although the colour isn't that that that obvious.. but still, it's nice!! haha... went down to parkway today to find my good friend.. and i did give her a surprise.. lol.. bought my chocs for godma and have given to her already.. hope she'll like the chocs i got her.. haha... =) saw caroline today too in church cause went for memorial mass.. chatted a bit with her.. missed talking to her lah.. miss all my sec sch frens.. esp. my very close frens like her and nicole.. hopefully i'll get to chat with them soon!!

anyway, she left us all a year ago.. a year later, we pray for her.. that she'll continue to be happy with whr she is now.. watching over us.. and we're all still doing well.. although for some of us, it's still painful.. for me, flashbacks frm a year ago still "haunt" me.. i still rmb a year ago.. the incidents and days spent crying till eyes were swollen.. but we've all slowly letting go cause we know she would want us to be happy and not sad just because she isn't around anymore.. she would want us to be happy so that she too will be happy for us frm wherever she is.. i mean, if we think positively, all of us return to Jesus one day.. but it's just a matter of who goes first.. since Jesus called for her first, we ought to be happy that she's now with Jesus, and that one day, we'll all still meet in Heaven.. I've tot things thru and slowly accepting things the way it is now and events that are yet to happen.. accepting the fact that if we dun treasure the chance we haf with our loved ones now, it'll be too late when they're gone.. accepting the fact that life is so unpredictable and that it is really not up to us to control when we stay on this earth and when we return to our maker.. it is HE who decides.. so for the rest of us here, let's continue to live our lives happily so that she'll be happy for us and she can rest in peace.. for those who have yet to lose a loved one, an advice frm someone who have experienced the pain of losing someone, treasure those around u now.. dun wait for a tragedy to happen before you learn, because by then, it'll be all too late.. and you may regret for not treasuring that person before.. i've learnt my lesson through her.. that's why i've changed and treasured those around me.. and it was through her, that i've learnt this.... =)

people, pls cheer that i'm updating.. lol.. have been busy with school.. projects and stuff.. and adding to that, i've got some projects not started and half-way hanging there.. plus mid-sem is coming... -.-''' anyway, dun feel like talking abt school.. let's talk abt more personal.. i din hear wrongly.. i heard correctly and i've asked.. it's his habit.. and i'm starting to continue picking up myself and move on... i nearly dropped back down to that pit but i'm glad i hung in there and cleared things with him.. =) and i feel that we've made quite a bit of improvement this sem.. as in friendship wise and =), i'm smiling.. we talk to each other and stuff.. and yes, i'm moving on... =) ok, i'd better shut this up just in case some people do not understand wad i talking abt.. lol.. owells.. may go back to my books soon.. i need to start revising early if not... =( i know my strengths, that's why i choose to start studying early.. =)

i feel shitty.. i tot i had gotten over it and moved on in life.. but it was all self-deception.. or wadeva you call it.. i tot he left my heart slowly but i was wrong.. mayb like wad S said.. cause i see him in school almost everyday... i really don't know wad to do.. i just stone when i see him.. is this how i really feel or am i just deceiving myself in making myself believe i still like him when the feelings have faded alr?? i really dunno.. can someone tell me??

i wanna change my blogskin.. any nice soul to offer to help me?? lol.. afterall blogger's giving me a hard time which puts me off.. haiz.. anyway, i've started sch.. 1st wk, ok lah.. not too bad.. but quite tiring.. mayb cause everyone hasn't adjusted back to studies mode and you know wad?? the subjects for this sem is going to kill me!! it's so difficult!! ahh!! someone, help me!!! tutorials start next wk, so i guess i'm slowly adjusting back?? lol.. oh, and i changed my CDS tutorial timing to ming li's class so i'm in the same class with her and in the same project grp!! of course, i met new frens but for now, they can't be compared to my nonsensical gals in my class!! right angeline?? lol... oh, and me and angeline made a pact tat this sem we'll be in the same project grps for all.. that is if we get to choose our own grps which i think is ok?? lol.. taking into consideration that i din do any projects with her last sem!! so since this may be our last sem together for BSG, i'm gonna sae it hear out loud and i know she'll be reading it so.. ANGELINE!! LET'S DO PROJECTS TOGETHER!! HAHA... (p.s i'm not les btw.. i've got someone i like ok?? and i'm not gg to change direction just because he doesn't feel the way for me...) lol... piano tmr.. din quite practise today but yah.. i doubt i'll haf time to practise now that sch's started and i end class as late as 4p.m.. by the time i get home, i got to rush out tutorials and revise, someone, pls tell me whr can i find the time to practise?? lol.. owells.. anyway, c u readers ard!! =)

HELLOZ ANGELINE!!
TRACY, PLS HELP ME WREAK HAVOC ON MY TAGBOARD.. IT'S SO QUIET!! lol.. =D

chalet yesterday.. truly enjoyed myself although i spoilt a bit of the fun in the late afternoon/early evening..

it had been quite some time (N years back actually) when i first cycled.. yesterday, i could peddle but i couldn't balance.. nearly kept falling and hurting myself.. in the end i din cycle.. but my dearest angeline cycled me instead.. and yes, we talked quite a bit while we cycled.. and i kept screaming cause this is afterall, my 1st time being a pillion rider(hmm, is that wad you call it??)... and it was raining somemore.. but it was still fun.. played bowling, arcade etc.. truly fun but tiring and hungry.. lol..

dad came and instead of sending just angeline home, he sent angeline, ming li and ben to the same place whr i think ming li and ben had to make their way back to ben's hse while he sent the me, yee sin, xiao min and jacelyn back home.. was supposed to stay over at yee sin's place but cause her room couldn't fit too many of us, i slept at home.. but i din sleep well cause my arms were aching badly.. (of course, most tiring one wasn't me during that bicycle ride but angeline..) my legs and butt were aching too but it wasn't dat bad as compared to my arms.. slept after watching the repeat of wan yu on ch 256 at 1am.. i couldn't wait until my hair was totally dry so tiredly, i went to sleep while the 3 upstairs slept only at 4 am.. lol..

anyway, school's starting in 5 days time?? can't wait cause at least i've got smth to do when sch start but the headache part is wad to whr to sch everyday.. haiz.. anyway, i think i'll meet up with angeline earlier on monday to go get lecture notes.. dun wanna wait last minute and be late for lesson... lol..

do a quick post before i'm off to the seat in front of the tv.. lol.. i was just wondering after a small conversation with a long time friend..

to no one in particular:
how long has it been since we last chatted with each other?? a day? a month?? or close to a year?? yet for some of us, we may have chatted months ago, and when we do chat again at this moment, we've got lotsa to talk about.. updating each other on our lives etc... but for others, there seems nth for us to talk abt even after months.. for some of us, we may have chatted just yesterday or recently and yet we still have lotsa to talk abt when we meet or call..

people say time heals all wounds.. to me, time seems to change everything.. be it whether we've been hurt or not.. for friendships, some may have deepen and become closer.. for others, we may have just drifted apart.. for relationships, a day together may not mean together forever.. but one thing i know for sure is, no matter how fast or slow time pass, no matter it's a day, a month or a year, there's this special grp of people here beside us alwaes.. supporting us and giving us the necessary help and support.. and the spiritual support we need and long for.. the happiness and warmth for us after each long day at work and in school.. and that special grp of people are known as FAMILY..

post time again.. lol..

headed out to somerset on friday with my 1 dearest best fren always and another dear fren frm TP.. ok, namely tracy and angeline.. lol.. went k box singing.. had fun time there and we went crazy lor.. mayb cause too much craziness, angeline slept there for a while while me and tracy, the 2 besties, continued singing.. haha.. and our bladders all got problem.. keep going to the toilet like there's gold in the toilet.. and btw, the toilet's pathetic lor... lol.. after k box, the 2 girls wanted to eat sushi so we went sakae and had sashimi buffet.. but i tot it was ex for one person.. $24++.. of course, it's worth it if you ate a lot but somehow that day my appetite was quite small and the cause of it came on saturday.. dots.. we chatted abt quite a lot of things lah which some of them not very convenient to mention on my blog.. lol.. after dinner, we shopped awhile as we made our wae back home.. all in all, i enjoyed that day lots.. was dead tired when i got home and btw, i got home by cab frm bedok interchange.. lol.. it was a very NICE outing with them.. hopefully can go out with them again soon!! lol...

"struck lottery" on saturday after a few hours of pain coming frm my tummy.. went out to eat though that evening and then came home and rest.. literally speaking, i slacked my saturday awae after piano in the morning...

as for today.. the pain was just killing me.. din really have a big appetite for lunch and dinner just now.. slept in the afternoon and den watched wan quan yu le.. lol.. i'm into wan yu again.. haha.. wadeva.. oh, i dreamt of zhi and fu last night.. so did tracy and that girl is supposed to tell me her dream.. haha.. so cool.. lol.. anywae, it's back to real life and back to being my sister's temp typist.. lol..

been busy the last few days?? hmm.. not exactly but i did go out with frens just this past week and i'll be going out again this week!! anyway, that outing was last thursdae.. went out with tracy and li ting to bugis.. managed to buy wadeva i needed to buy and the children's day gifts were although cute, they cost me quite a lot of money.. just the clips alone came up to almost $20.. but at least when i gave them out today, they were happy with it.. :)

as for today, i tink some people found out that i nearly had to handle the class of abt 18 kids today alone.. thx to hmm... of course, that excluded my parents and my sisters who obviously would know cause i'd have told them.. she smsed nancy this morning, informing her that she wun be able to come.. so nancy obviously told me and the 1st thing she said this morning when i saw her was.. " marianne, i've got bad news for you.." i tot wad bad news was it, but just news that she wun be turning up today.. and nancy was making arrangements for someone to come in and help me when.. poof!! she turned up and asked why she turned up, she said "oh, actually i wasn't feeling well but then i tot you would be the only one so i just come and help lor.. " dots.. not that her presence would make any difference but today, she did help me out a bit so it wasn't that bad.. she did a mindmap for me on the board so that the class could copy.. and i din tink of that so mayb one way or another, she did help out a bit today.. lol.. owells..

will be going out later in the evening for dinner.. not sure whr but i guess it sure will be good food tonite!! lol..

i'm dead bored.. the games online are pathetic.. nth to do till 5 plus when my show starts... dots.. crapping here anyway.. lol... gosh, someone save me from this boredom that i'm suffering from!! ahh!! lol... anywae, i miss sch.. i miss the frens in sch!! haiz.. mayb i dun miss all.. but i'm sure i miss the gals and that someone.. such a random post.. ok, i'm off!

this wasn't the 1st time already.. it happened before and it happened again.. i shouldn't have been rash but that feeling's coming back again after so many months.. mayb i shouldn't have looked for it.. maybe staying home would be better.. i really dun noe.. i apologise for my mistakes, for my behavior and for my attitude.. but i wish i could have turned back time.. really...

i treasure the friendship i have with you now.. at least although i know i may nv stand a chance anymore, but i'm happy with the current status quo btw us.. and i hope u treasure it too.. at least things are improving btw the two of us and we're getting to know each other better and i truly hope that u wun take it to heart with wad i tell u or msg u at times.. but i just wan u to know that although i still like you and sometimes i wish that you'll give me a chance, i wan you to know that i know certain things can't be forced and can't be rushed so i wun rush this.. i'll let things be as it is.. mayb things will change after some time but i hope that even though we may not be together, i still hope that we can be very good frens to the extent that i can share everything with you and vice versa.. will u give me a chance to do just that?? will you?? p.s i hope you know who i'm referring to...

yup yup! 1st ever post after my exams.. anyway, exams ended on thursday.. quite relaxed now and yes, i'm enjoying the freedom after exams and starting to bury myself with my interests and stuff.. lol... of course, besides enjoying myself, hopefully i'm not asked to re-sit for any supp paper especially csa.. will cry i tell you... but i guess it shld be ok bah, i pray?? and yes, i did pray before all my papers.. see, TRUST THE LORD... k, yesterday went back to KC.. honestly speaking, i shld have gone back on my own instead of as a grp.. of course that doesn't include bumping into old friends lah.. saw berlyn, carolyn, chun hui, michelle and etc.... after so long.. haha.. went a little over hyper when i saw them... haha.. after that went to look for teachers and found most of them and yes, had nice talks with them and well, they're happy to know i'm adapting and doing well in my new school!! and yes, i'm happy too.. after all that happened at the start of the new school year.. lol.. after that came back home and was at home for the rest of the day.. was quite tired lah.. lol... so anyway, as for today.. after a month's break from touching my piano, i'm back for piano lessons.. long long long long time nv touch piano le.. haha.. and i'm so thankful to yen hui jie for being so understanding.. she told me today that only when i think i'm ready den will she let me take exam again and for now, it's just music appreciation and yes ppl, i'm still learning.. lol.. but she say for me to continue, i have to take grade 5 theory and practical.. hmmm.. i may take bah.. but if it's like exam every year, i guess at least grade 5 practical will have to wait after my year 3 unless i just intend to play for the fun of it and really not continue.. but owells, i dun noe.. that will really have to depend how busy and how often i can practice in the future bah?? but for now, since i'm on holiday, i guess my house will keep hearing piano music coming from me.. lol.. cannot depend on angel.. lol.. kk, anywae, keep the post "short".. gotta go... bye!! :)))
yen hui jie, thx for being so understanding... :))

thank you thank you thank you thank you to all those who celebrated my birthday with me this year!! really enjoyed myself today!! :) here's what happened....

after BA1 exam, the gals(minus of ming li) and i went tampines to celebrate my birthday.. zi wei, cheryl, justin, rachel and nabilah went too and being naive and blur, i tot they really just went tampines for lunch and nothing else.. so with the 1st grp of ppl, we went century sq for lunch.. me, xiao min and da jie went TM at first cause angeline and yee sin went to buy something but because later angeline and yee sin were at century sq, we headed there.. so we ordered lunch and stuff and ate.. den yee sin signaled to one of the waiter and he brought out a cake.. lol.. the 2 of them bought a cake to celebrate my birthday!! so touched sia.. but the cake was too much for the 5 of us to finish so since they wanted me to bring the cake home, i took the cake along with me.. den angeline hurried us to go to the open space at TM level 4.. she say she want to go dere take picture.. couldn't quite understand but din ask and neither did i suspect anything.. went there and saw zi wei, cheryl, rachel, nabilah and justin waiting there for us.. lol!! they also bought a mint cake, hoping to celebrate my birthday too!! so yes, cut the cake again and the unfinished mocha cake.. the next thing i knew, angeline just smashed the cake into my face!! lol!! i was like.. wth.. but wasn't angry.. so went to wash up.. my hair smelt like choc and so did my shirt.. after that, they insisted that i eat a piece of the mint cake but before i could do anything, rachel smashed the piece of cake into my face and yes, i ate a little bit of mint.. yucks!! really taste like colgate!! so went to wash up again.. and cause my shirt was quite bad, wanted to change out.. so after that, we took some pics and den we left and it was only left with me, angeline and xiao min.. so we went shopping for clothes and the 3 of us bought a shirt alike!! and they paid for my shirt so yes, that's the birthday present!! :))) den we continued shopping and in the end, the 3 of us bought a bag each.. and the bag was similar and only mine and angeline's were of the same colour.. lol!! so one day, we'll wear the same shirt to sch with the same bag!! lol!! after that, they left and i waited for tracy.. lol!!

shopped at TIMES with tracy den went Macs to get a drink before gg to the arcade to slack.. den tracy went for dinner and i accompanied her cause i was more of tired than hungry.. after that, we wanted to take neoprints but cause tracy said not nice, we din take so we left TM and headed home.. felt quite sorry towards tracy cause i ended our meet earlier.. sry!! on the way home, someone smsed me and made me rather happy~~ angeline hinted that person that's why that person guessed that today was my birthday but i guess if it wasn't for angeline, i dun think i would be this happy!! so a big big big thank you to angeline!! but in conclusion, a big thank you to all these ppl who made my day memorable: TRACY, ANGELINE, DA JIE, YEE SIN, XIAO MIN, RACHEL, NABILAH, CHERYL, ZI WEI and JUSTIN.. and to all those who msged and wished me: HUI YEE, CAROLYN, CHERLYN AND ALL THE MANY MANY MANY MORE!! too many names to be mentioned so all in all, a big thank you!!!! :::))))

just felt like blogging.. haha.. ok, that's too... sudden to start my post.. lol!! anywae, this week was a sucky week for me.. friendship with a fren turned sour over an idol[that i dunno wad's so great about him other than good-looking and can sing].. ok, this is my blog so i guess i can talk crap here and if you're not happy den get lost... honestly speaking, i feel that yes, we both had our wrongs that nite.. but hey, weren't you not petty over this, getting upset and crying over it?? ok, yes, i admit that if today it was xiezhi and the grp came over and she got chosen, i would feel terrible but hey, i wun pull a long face and ignore you after that.. i mean, pls get a life?? and i know you wun be reading this cause u dun have my blog's address that's why i dun give a damn and write my tots here... ok, i may hurt u by writing this but let's be honest, i'm saying this from my heart and it's wad i really feel and think.. i hope u din go round telling people how evil i was to do this to you and shit but pls be mature[although u're 2 years older than me], count on ur poor luck? everyone and anyone who attended that concert has a right to be his princess although i dun give a damn cause he's not my style.. and you ought to know who i really like... so pls, get a life will you??

and stop pretending you're really cute.. sometimes it irritates me to see you acting cute.. not saying that i dun do it but hey, act ur age will you?? i'm not saying i'm not acting my age when i act cute but i do it to the right person who acts back too.. and pls stop asking people to say you're cute.. being your mei mei doesn't mean i have to always listen to you.. i've got my opinions and my priniciples... ok, you want to talk rite?? let's talk but stop ignoring this till after exams.. i'd rather get it over and done with and den focus on my exams.. not saying that i'm not focusing on them now but this will be a stone weighing on me until we talk things out.. mayb not me, but you.. i'll only choose to listen and not say a word unless it's necessary cause it's not me who wants to talk things out.. you chose it.. so if you think you wanna talk, you'll do the talking and i'll listen and i'll talk if i think there's a need.. ok, tat's all i have to say..

just had a sudden urge to blog after reading my dear god-bro's blog on a post he entered last year... suddenly so many tots surfaced... it happened last year... and for the past few mths, i realised i've changed a lot.. i seldom argue with my parents even though i still do but take it this wae, the arguements have become lesser... although i still do a little whining here and there but tell me frankly and honestly, haven't i changed mentally?? haven't i grown up?? i dun wish to sae this but i'll be honest, i still cry at night when i miss her.. i still want to mention her in my conversations although it's painful yet i dun wanna really really admit she's no longer around.. just mentioning her will make me feel that she's still around.. but we all know the real fact... special occasions just remind me of her... the most recent one?? my cousin's birthday celebration.. the upcoming one?? my birthday celebration.. i nv expected that last year's birthdays would be the last time she celebrated with us be it mine or my cousins or sisters... i won't know whether i'll cry again this coming christmas but i know she'll wan us to be strong.. it seems very long since she left yet recalling the mths, it's only close to 8 mths.. is it long or is it short?? but i know if i do cry again this year, it'll just show how fast time flies and it's a year gone.. many things happened yet all this made us even more stronger and more mature.. but i just realised that hey, within the next few years, i'll mature even more and be a stronger person.. owells.. GOD has his plans for all of us... and i TRUST in HIM.. :)

i shouldn't have entered her blog and read that damn post... the feeling of being guilty and that selfishness is back... really... mayb i really think i tink too much and stuff and being over-sensitive but this time round, i felt i am being rather unconsiderate even after deciding to exchange... argh!! but this is human's nature isn't it?? all humans are selfish but in a different way?? am i not wrong to say this?? or am i in the wrong? i really dunno.. but i really shouldn't have read her blog.. if i din read her blog, i guess i wun be feeling this way now.. but i really wan to tell this fren even though i know she may not read my blog:

it's not on intention that i dun wanna exchange with ur grp
just that i felt it was fair to draw lots
if you din get that time slot, u can only blame ur luck
so dun go round telling people how some people are just freakingly selfish and inconsiderate
i know it may not be me but i get the hint
i was part of the other grp who din quite wan to change
but when i wanted, ur grp changed alr
so stop saying some ppl are &%@%$!@#!@$!$
cause i believe even if you dun show it, you are one of a kind too

sorry about that but just felt somehow uncomfortable.. lol!!

yes yes, i know, it's has been a long long long long long time since i last blogged.. tot my computer couldn't sign me into but haha, i tried and yes, i'm blogging.. isn't it obvious?? lol!! i think this will be a long long long post.. anywae, just finished busying myself with all the projects! and finally all projects are over!! yeah!! happy happy! but there's the last presentation to go which i wish i dun have to present and i hate... bleah! argh!!! but happy thing is that i dun have to go to school on 17th cause got no class!! lol.. and because of some incident that happen today, i feel super guilty until i talked to dear ting about it!! thx girl! nice of you to listen!! hopefully can catch up with you soon after exams!!

anywae, things doing fine both at home and in school!! suddenly being able to blog, just leaves me at a loss for words.. dunno wad to write and even if write already, dunno whether ppl still interested in reading.. well, wun type a lot bah... if u ppl out there are still reading my blog, why not you leave a tag and i'll continue updating my blog!! lol!!till then, tata!! :)

haven updated for quite some time already.. mayb cause i've started writing a diary so everything goes into my diary.. lol! anywae, spent the recent weekends rather sadly and a little angrily cause of some stupid people.. if i've told you about it, you'll know who i'm talking about.. long story on how i got angry and upset with so i shan't comment on it.. -.- having lessons now.. but quite bored so updating my blog.. lol! haiz.. it's hard to forget but i know i can if i managed to forget nicholas.. it'll take time but i can do it.. lol! but the person's still on my mind.. so yikes! will i ever forget?? i really don't know.. anywae, will update another day when i find my blog dying! lol! oh, just a mention, i did well for my mid sem tests!! yeah! WELL DONE MARIANNE!! :)