Stories about NS, life, our experiences and simply getting to know each other better sums up a great Sunday afternoon yesterday. Hectic afternoon but the company of the new group makes it great and relaxed after that. Looking forward to such sessions with them again!
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A question was asked yesterday. What are the 2 3-word phrases in life that is the most difficult to say? 1) It's my fault/I am wrong. 2) I am sorry. And the explanation to why "It's my fault/I am sorry" comes first was a great explanation and realisation to us. I shared it with my family yesterday and they agreed to.

We often say sorry for the sake of saying sorry, sometimes we do not even admit that it's our fault while saying sorry. But the whole meaning of saying sorry is to first acknowledge our mistakes, our faults and be sorry for them. Saying sorry doesn't necessarily mean that you are really sorry for them. Saying sorry is difficult but acknowledging your mistakes, your faults is even more difficult.
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I've moved on. I'm no longer gonna waste my time on people who doesn't appreciate what I'm doing for them, no longer gonna treat them that well when they don't deserve my kindness and is taking me for granted. It feels that all this while, people took me for granted, as if I owed them and it's right for them to treat me this way. In fact, there's no need for me to deserve such treatment. So I'm moving on. Getting on with my life. Cause at the end of the day, people will come to realise that it's their loss for not treasuring such a friend like me, and not mine. And at the end of the day, I'm gonna spend my time on people who deserves it more than others and that I deserve someone better.
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till then;

4th month;

I just realised that at the start of the past 3 months, I'm on MC. Argh. Terrible. And reason for cause of MC this month? Sore eyes. Conjunctivitis. How good. Specs to work tmr just so that I can wear my contact lens on Thursday. But luckily, it's only half day tmr. This week is indeed a short short work week.
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CNY in 2 days' time. Not so much excited. Nor have the festive mood. When there's not much to do during CNY apart from the routine visiting and new clothes, guess there's nothing worth looking forward to. Except for the long weekend this year.
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till then;

My 3rd month and it's getting busy already. New work arrangements result in more workloads. Work is piling up day by day. New cases, new challenges. Fun and interesting. Starting to leave me tired at the end of every day, with me starting to end work later and later as well. But I'm enjoying it and loving it. Totally no regrets. Once again, thanks to the nice and friendly colleagues and the nature of my job. (:
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Hair appointment on Saturday. Trying out a new hairstyle. Hopefully it'll turn out nice. If so, I'll be doing perm soft curls on Thursday. Talking about it, taking a short break from work from Thursday onwards. Plans to meet up with Viv on Thursday, off to Malacca on Friday, back on Sunday and saying hi to work on Monday. Gonna be a super packed week next week with just 3 days of work and loads of work to clear after my short break.
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Smiles on my face this week since Tuesday placed by a special someone. The smiles are still there as I recall our sms chat. It's keeping me going these days. Wonder when will be the next time I'll meet you. (:
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till then;

2011 - New year, new beginnings;

Just like the heading, 2011's a new year which also mark new beginnings. 2010 created many memories, made impacts in my life as well as many first times. Looking forward to more memories in 2011, creating more memories in 2011, writing new chapters in my life.
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Countdown on 31 Dec with PP was awesome. 2010 started well, ended great with a big bang with them at Seven, Iluma. And naturally 2011 started off well for sure. Drank, a bit high but total enjoyment. An unexpected surprise came along as well and it did made me smile.

Singing session was up next last night. 3 hours of singing came along with laughter and great gathering. Another total enjoyment. The last night of 2010 and the first night of 2011 spent with them was just awesome. Looking to more of such impromptu gatherings.
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till then;

Christmas eve party was great. Enjoyed myself with the company and Gulliver's Travels. Nice movie with non-stop laughter. Got home at 3 plus am. Totally tired but worth the tiredness. Next up would be New Year's eve party. Gonna be lots of fun as well. (:
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On a sidenote, I've decided to change my wallet after much hesitation. Black prints on my wallet after family lunch yesterday made me turn off and sad cause it was a birthday gift from Clique 2.2 and I treasured that wallet a lot. Now, it'll be kept in my cupboard. Getting it on Friday before the party and high chances is that I doubt it'll be white although it's nice.
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Feelings messed up once again. Thrown into a state of confusion and full of question marks surround me. Don't seem to understand the actions done and the reason behind it. In fact, don't seem to understand anything at all. From the happy Christmas mood to a emo Christmas mood, who's the only one who can change my mood such drastically. The answer's pretty known.
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till then;

Sakae sushi at Changi Airport T2 with Liang Yi, Ms Xinyi, Ms Gem and Mr Shunjie. Late dinner/supper yesterday night was AWESOME. Enjoyed myself last night with the laughter, the plates of side orders, sushi and temaki. Missed them a lot and it was nice meeting up with them last night. Gift exchange of Body Shop presents, tie and tie pin and Zinc bag. And they liked my presents so it was a relief for me. Still waiting for Liang Yi to open his. Haha. It wasn't anything special but it was the thought that counts. Received my 1st Christmas present from them too. A pretty star pendant and earrings. And soon, the pendant will be around my neck! (: Didn't bring my camera in the end to capture these lovely memories. But it's ok. These memories are kept in my heart. Looking forward to 31 Dec now. Countdown to 2011 with them and I'm sure it's gonna be lots of fun as well! :D
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till then;

At some point you will realise that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It's not like you're giving up, and it's not like you shouldn't try. It's just that you just have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

Maybe this is what I'm doing now. Neither giving up nor not giving up. Maybe I've done too much and I should stop and walk out of everything. Cause like the quote, what is truly yours will eventually be yours, no matter how long it takes. But if it isn't meant to be, then really, no matter how hard I try, it'll never be mine.

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till then;

Throughout life, you will meet one person who is unlike any other. You could talk to this person for years and never get bored, you could tell them things and they won't judge you. This person is your soulmate, your best friend. Don't let them go.

Felt this way before. Felt that you could be the one. We used to talk about anything and everything. But silence now lies between us most of the time. Miss the past. But what's gone has gone. What's left is only memories. Memories that no one can take it away from us. While these memories are important to me, I hope they're important to you too.
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On a side note, end of 1st month. Tomorrow is the start of the 2nd month. December's just going to be more hectic, more busy with colleagues going on leave etc. Work is starting to pile with so many things to attend to. Only worry is that I'm too careless in my work and make stupid mistakes. Only worry is that I won't be able to perform as well as I'm supposed to.
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till then;

Car rides that ended up driving in circles, dinner at White Sands, laughter and jokes we shared all sum up to 1 word: AWESOME! Sunday evening / night was totally great with the company of Wendy, Liang Yi, Shi Qi and Ke Yuan. This weekend is the best weekend I've ever had since I started work. And the fun we had yesterday is definitely leaving a smile on my face for at least today! (:
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till then;

Glad that there's a break this week. Somehow I really need this break despite last week was the only week so far that I worked for 5 days. That's why I say I've come to appreciate the weekends and public holidays even more now.
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Edited.
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till then;

End of 1st week. Colleagues pretty nice and friendly. Getting on well with them, I can say. Tired is also for sure. Still getting used to habits and routine. But 1 thing is that it's not as boring as what I think, even though it's reading, reading and more reading for now. But I'm gradually getting to handle work with help given by my colleagues. So guess things will definitely get better as the days go by. And just in 4 days, I've gone for a learning journey with colleagues and enjoyed myself much! (:
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So looking forward to Saturday. Clique 2.2 gathering, that's it! Totally keep me going and even though I may not meet all but yeah, it's still worth a trip. (:
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Question: single? Answer to her: half-half. More than friends but not a couple yet was my answer to her. That's the feeling I get. But still taking things easy. Maybe Christmas 2010 would change some things for us. Mass, lunch with relatives and family or simply dinner with family still remains unknown. Not sure if this is what I want from you. Well, at least unsure for now. But yeah, I'm happy with status quo even though thoughts of giving up said hi in my mind. So we'll just see how things go cause I still believe, if we're meant to be then no matter how long or what happens, we'll still end up together cause we're meant to be. (:
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till then;

A new beginning tomorrow. A new working environment. New colleagues. Definitely looking forward to it cause this was something I chose. But hopefully everything goes well. (: But of course, this would lead me to make another decision with regards to the familiar environment.

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Maybe I'm tired. Emotionally tired. Or maybe cause being sick causes me to be emo and think this way. But the thought of giving up crossed my mind and this time, it seemed firm to me. But could this be the first or the second? Is this for real? I simply have no explanation for it now. Cold war? Fights? Did we? No, we didn't. But maybe this weekend, I just don't really have the mood or don't really want to see him. Yet now what's coming across my mind is did she ask him that too? The answer to it is still a question.

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Contradictory, yes it may be. But this time round, no matter how tough it'll be or how difficult this new journey will be, I'll hang in there cause I know I'm not alone. My other friends are experiencing the same thing too. And at the same time, we're fighting together. You for the nation, me for this new journey that's lying ahead of me.

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till then;

I'm imperfect. So are you. But when 2 imperfect individuals come together as one, that's when their strengths and weaknesses complement each other and they become PERFECT in the eyes of each other. And that's what I wish for the both of us as well. (:

till then;

Simple yet memorable. Just 3 simple words to describe my birthday this year. This year was different than the other years. The simple birthday message from you made me smile, made me super happy cause it was the 1st birthday message received in the first few minutes of 24 August. And what made it even more special and memorable was that I spent it with you. Just you alone is enough to make me smile from the heart. (:

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till then;

A new beginning to a new start. Hard work and effort went in to get results. Results shown. A new position. Us all on the same level. Our efforts paid off with such results. This August, it's all about hard work and effort again. But success doesn't come on its own. Success comes with teamwork. And that's what we're all fighting together for, to be successful.
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1 of the few birthday wishes I have has come true. What about that 1 simple wish of mine, coming along with all that I did? Will it be fulfilled as well? It all depends on an individual's choice.
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till then;

Fears overcome, challenged myself. Feeling good and proud of myself, even though it wasn't perfect and mistakes made. But one thing for sure, it was a great experience and I did learn a lot. (:

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Smooth sailing, I thought it was, even while the conversation was going on. Bt that sentence proved me wrong, even though I hope it wasn't what I was thinking. And all my smiles and happy feelings disappeared from my face. All thanks to that sentence.

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till then;

Tummy upset again. But dinner was great. Now, I'm making a point to have dinner with my family every weekend. And this evening, we received good news. Everyone at home is promoted to a new calling with the birth of a baby girl called matilda into the family. (:
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Packed till I'm finding it hard to breathe even before tomorrow comes. Full of appointments from morning till night. It'll definitely be a long day tomorrow for me. With the end of the week the last day to get promoted in order to receive badge this June, this week is gonna be stressed. Not only for me, but also for him. But we're motivating each other, working hard together and I know we'll pull through this week, no matter what outcome it'll be. (:
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till then;

I have to admit that my view changed just within these few weeks, especially after Sunday's HOR Grouping and I learnt to relate a simple daily action to what I'm doing. The concept of a new food stall. And I guess that will be something I will and can use to explain to my clients what this industry is all about.

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I've had enough of you questioning me. It's common sense that I'm working, that I'm going to the office everyday. Tell me that you're concerned. Fine. But I can't sense that you're being concerned. If you are concerned, you would try to go down to the office to understand more about the company and what I'm doing rather than question me. Tell you I got a small promotion. Yet while everyone can be happy for me, I can't say the same for you. All you said in reply last week was 'So does that mean you get a stable income?' And asking me about the blueblacks on my hand. Again, all I sense is that you are questioning your daughter. You sounded like I got the marks because of the magnetic bracelet that I was wearing and not because of any other reasons. You questioned when I said the truth. How do you want me to feel? I felt that at the age of 19 going to 20, I don't have the trust of my mum. It's not like I don't know what I'm doing. It's not like I don't know whether I got the marks because of the bracelet. I know. But why can't you just trust me? Even if you don't trust the company I'm with, shouldn't you at least trust in me? Trust the outside world but what about those that have tried and succeeded? Are all these lies? If so, don't bother trusting me anymore. Cause I've tried and succeeded in getting promoted and will continue to work harder to achieve what I want to achieve in this company, even if it gets real tough.

till then;

My dreams, my interests, my passion. I'll still go for it, pursue them. But why can't they see that even if it's a part-time job, I'm taking it seriously. I'm only asking for one simple thing - their support. Why can't they just give me their support and quit being a wet blanket? Why can't they try to accept the fact that the chances of me getting into NIE is super low now? Just who are they trying to deceive? Me or themselves? Cos I've accepted the fact that the application was unsuccessful but it doesn't mean I've given up on my dreams, my interests and my passion. Cos I'll never give up on teaching.

'Turn down all appointments this week and go in and teach if the school calls" - that's what she told me. Then I ask myself, what if the school doesn't call? Then I'm wasting my time at home when if I can be out there, going for appointments. At least there's the possibility that I can close deals and earn that money, even if it's a teeny weeny bit. Why can't they try to put themselves in my shoes and think, and understand that some things aren't as easy or simple as they say it is. Maybe they're the ones who have to accept the fact that I've grown up, that I know what I want and stop deceiving themselves instead.

till then;

22 Mar to 25 Mar 2010 - Penang Trip with Clique 2.2;

Back from Penang yesterday evening. Had total fun and did quite a bit of shopping there till the luggage was full to the max! But I missed home and my dear friends who couldn't join us. But still, it was totally awesome and I enjoyed myself. More trips next time with the clique! More photos on FB. Next up - Taiwan trip and it's gonna be even more shopping and even more fun! (:

while waiting to board the plane at Changi Airport T1

At our hotel after checking-in

While waiting for the bus to go to our first stop - Island Plaza

The kiddy side of each of us

Singapore's Chen Lei - Tan Ke Yuan

The cute gingerbread man which me and shu peng found it cute but we didn't buy it. ):

My Swensens yam ice-cream! (:

Day 2 - on the bus to the bus terminal where we got lost and ended up at the jetty!

at Times Square, having our lunch

Day 3 - at the beach before we started another day of shopping

the couple - Mel and Wendy

back at Pranglin Mall for our lunch

Before the pillow fight started...

at the Penang airport, waiting to board the plane. and then it was Home Sweet Home. (:

and this was the group of people that went to Penang - Me, Wendy, Shu Peng, Melvin and Ke Yuan. Had awesome fun and laughter with them around. And yes, I'm missing the fun already. But the fun we had become memories and will always be remembered. Our first trip overseas as a clique. (:

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till then;