Tummy upset again. But dinner was great. Now, I'm making a point to have dinner with my family every weekend. And this evening, we received good news. Everyone at home is promoted to a new calling with the birth of a baby girl called matilda into the family. (:
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Packed till I'm finding it hard to breathe even before tomorrow comes. Full of appointments from morning till night. It'll definitely be a long day tomorrow for me. With the end of the week the last day to get promoted in order to receive badge this June, this week is gonna be stressed. Not only for me, but also for him. But we're motivating each other, working hard together and I know we'll pull through this week, no matter what outcome it'll be. (:
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till then;

I have to admit that my view changed just within these few weeks, especially after Sunday's HOR Grouping and I learnt to relate a simple daily action to what I'm doing. The concept of a new food stall. And I guess that will be something I will and can use to explain to my clients what this industry is all about.

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I've had enough of you questioning me. It's common sense that I'm working, that I'm going to the office everyday. Tell me that you're concerned. Fine. But I can't sense that you're being concerned. If you are concerned, you would try to go down to the office to understand more about the company and what I'm doing rather than question me. Tell you I got a small promotion. Yet while everyone can be happy for me, I can't say the same for you. All you said in reply last week was 'So does that mean you get a stable income?' And asking me about the blueblacks on my hand. Again, all I sense is that you are questioning your daughter. You sounded like I got the marks because of the magnetic bracelet that I was wearing and not because of any other reasons. You questioned when I said the truth. How do you want me to feel? I felt that at the age of 19 going to 20, I don't have the trust of my mum. It's not like I don't know what I'm doing. It's not like I don't know whether I got the marks because of the bracelet. I know. But why can't you just trust me? Even if you don't trust the company I'm with, shouldn't you at least trust in me? Trust the outside world but what about those that have tried and succeeded? Are all these lies? If so, don't bother trusting me anymore. Cause I've tried and succeeded in getting promoted and will continue to work harder to achieve what I want to achieve in this company, even if it gets real tough.

till then;

My dreams, my interests, my passion. I'll still go for it, pursue them. But why can't they see that even if it's a part-time job, I'm taking it seriously. I'm only asking for one simple thing - their support. Why can't they just give me their support and quit being a wet blanket? Why can't they try to accept the fact that the chances of me getting into NIE is super low now? Just who are they trying to deceive? Me or themselves? Cos I've accepted the fact that the application was unsuccessful but it doesn't mean I've given up on my dreams, my interests and my passion. Cos I'll never give up on teaching.

'Turn down all appointments this week and go in and teach if the school calls" - that's what she told me. Then I ask myself, what if the school doesn't call? Then I'm wasting my time at home when if I can be out there, going for appointments. At least there's the possibility that I can close deals and earn that money, even if it's a teeny weeny bit. Why can't they try to put themselves in my shoes and think, and understand that some things aren't as easy or simple as they say it is. Maybe they're the ones who have to accept the fact that I've grown up, that I know what I want and stop deceiving themselves instead.

till then;