hmm.. another reflection again.. lol.. it seems that being single has an advantage, if you would consider it to be one, would be that you dun have to think about whether or not your other half's parents like you or not or approve to you and him or her being together.. would that be an advantage?? i mean, being single, all it takes is spending more time with your family and nothing major to consider abt rgd relationships but being attached is totally different.. it's more than just spending time not only with ur family but with ur other half, and also getting the approval by both families.. and even getting approval doesn't just mean a full-stop to the problems.. it may just be the beginning only.. owells.. maybe i'm thankful for being single at this point in time.. at least i don't have to worry and think for my partner now.. maybe in the future, i'll be that girlfriend thinking for her boyfriend, worrying for his studies, the approval of his parents etc.. but for now, i'm thankful for the life i'm living now.. :)

blog blog blog!! let's blog abt.. today!! finally met up with dear tracy!! like after 6 months!! *gasps* that's very long lor.. haha... lol.. and she say i become chio bu.. haha.. thank you hor!! lol.. p.s: i actually only started to da ban da ban ever since i entered poly.. haha.. influenced by friends lah.. heehee.. so we went to bugis.. had prawn mee and started our shopping spree.. walked around bugis looking for clothes and shops.. haha... fun but tired and hot!! the result of our shopping spree was super fruitful!! trace got her bag, sweater, shorts, belt etc.. as for me, heehee, i got my new pair of skinny jeans and... my *finally, after so long* jumper!! i so love my jumper!! it's so nice!! and i'm glad i bought it.. hehe... can wear for church, school and even meetings with frens!! haha.. so love it!! :)

took neoprints with tracy too!! gosh, the aircon was just the thing we needed and wanted after shopping at bugis village!! was so hot and sweaty.. we love the aircon at bugis junction after our shopping spree, don't we?? can u believe it?? we went in the afternoon and we got all so hot.. whatsmore at night?? and worse if there's no wind!! haha... then it was camwhore time!! took pics with my phone.. haha.. haiz, dun say anymore.. enjoy the rest of the post with the best pics we took!! :)

we've got a secret but only the two of us know.. lol.. *do we have a secret?? haha...*

i just love this friend to bits!! heehee.. and lastly...

the pic we both like lots!! haha...

anyway, had lotsa of fun with tracy today!! looking forward to next wk with the addition of ting and fiona to the pic!! :)

hmm... sudden reflection again.. got back from a wake not too long ago and well, this post is on my reflection:

it's quite surprising on how we tend to treasure life and those around us after an upset event has happened... we tend to take things for granted.. we do not know how to cherish our loved ones until something happened.. for me, that was something i've learnt abt 1 year and few months back after what happened.. it was a blow to me and that day, i couldn't accept it.. no tears, nothing.. didn't know exactly how i should feel.. and i guess maybe that was how Godma and they felt yesterday?? to them, they may have felt prepared but for us, it wasn't.... godma said this today: 'children, treasure ur parents before it's too late...' this somehow struck a chord in me.. yes, we ought to treasure them before it's too late.. i mean, our parents have done a lot for us, their children, and shouldn't us, being their children, do something for them and treasure them?? it just makes sense doesn't it.. i guess this incident will make me learn again.. learn not to take things for granted and to cherish those around us, parents, siblings or even friends..

i've been through the pain of losing a loved one forever.. i don't want to go through it again.. or at least not at this moment.. i had a bad dream that day.. not a good one.. and i don't want history to repeat itself.. i'm afraid of losing someone else.. i won't know what i'll do if it happens.. but Lord, not at this time yet, ok?? to all my friends: treasure those around you before it's toooo late... treasure and cherish them now and i promise, you won't regret when they leave ur life one day... :)

after a short chat with a fren online, i suddenly had this reflection, not only for myself but also for them, i guess in some way or another...

it makes me happy to know that slowly and gradually, close frens of mine, mostly from sec sch, are getting attached.. whether or not the other half is their mr right, i'm happy for them to have found someone who likes them and they like other than their family members.. for some, they had to go through obstacles and worries before they can be together and for others, they're still experiencing obstacles even after being together for some time already.. however, there are also some who feel that their other half doesn't suit them and end their relationship while others may be having problems within that relationship.. so it actually still mean to say that even after you're together, there are still problems that you will face be it now or in the future.. and even before you can be together, you may have to undergo obstacles first before you can be together.. no matter what, all these problems and obstacles are just testing your love for each other.. although we can let nature take its course, but on the other hand, shouldn't we do some actions to gain our own happiness?? well, that is if you feel that he's the special one for you.. :)

talking about others, what about me? at this point in time, i'm also not very sure.. yes, i've agreed to give him up and let go.. i'm tired of thinking whether or not i'll end up in a relationship with guy A or guy B.. it just tires me out.. but i'm not against meeting new frens of the opposite gender.. it just broadens my social circle and some way or another, increase my chances of getting hitched.. but that is beyond my control.. i'm tired of thinking on the positive side and hurt myself indirectly.. it just feels like a burden to me after all that had happened.. i'm not sure if being in a relationship is what i want now although i know that even if i'm attached, i won't neglect my studies.. but is this what i really want?? i really don't know.. mayb it is, mayb it isn't.. let's hope i just meet that right guy next semester in year 2.. that's all i can wish for, i guess.. but i don't think i'll ever take the initiative to express my feelings again if i'm not sure of how the guy feels towards me.. yes, although i may be brave but i don't wanna get hurt again, if you know what i mean... :)

owells.. hopefully things go smoothly for me and i'll be able to find THE ONE.. will i?? just where is my ONE?? :S

homebound this week.. lol.. one, no money so can't go anywhere.. 2nd, it's Holy Week.. don't wanna go out and be so tired after that.. and ever since i've finished exams, i've been gg out so this week, i shall stay home and be good.. but i'm gg down to TM to get some CATS stuff for TJ lesson.. so yup.. spent quite a lot of money last week.. and gosh, i think the effect of hanging out with angeline is starting to show.. lol.. why?? i've started to spend money on clothes and stuff.. and one thing/clothing i wanna get the next time i'm out shopping would be a new pair of jeans.. and tat would be at bugis street with tracy!! lol.. owe her her present so i'll have to go with her one day to bugis to get it.. and mayb shop for a pair of jeans!! lol.. and i also wanna go k box!! but i guess that would be in another 2 weeks time when i've arranged a time with tracy.. next week seems to be fully packed already.. lol.. here's my schedule for next week, beginning on easter sunday:

sun - GP's birthday celebration, chalet day 1
mon - chalet
tues - neighbourhood mass[evening]
wed - day out with tracy or godma [tentative]
thurs - day out with sherlyn and angeline
fri - day out with tracy or godma [tentative]

see how packed my next week will be?? lol.. owells.. but i'm not so afraid lah.. cause i'll have extra allowance since i'm not gg out this week.. so lol.. heehee.. :)

back from my outing not too long ago.. haiz.. another one tmr.. tummy upset and feeling so tired.. just dun feel like gg.. owells.. will update another day.. :S

got back my results abt 2 days ago.. hmmm.. not that bad i would say but i'm somehow a little disappointed in my results.. i guess i would have mayb scored better for my GPA if it wasn't for my OB grade.. but owells, it's over.. i shall just leave the unhappy memories of year 1 behind and look forward to year 2.. and of course, work harder.. haha..

went out with mama and mum yesterday.. had jap for lunch.. yummy.. eat until quite full.. but went shopping for angeline's present with angel at TM after that and gave angeline a surprise.. haha.. came home, showed pat her present.. and pat asked if i was dating angeline.. lol.. like no way... she's taken by a nice guy and i'm straight.. can't i have very good frens like tracy??!! haha.. it's funny when my sisters ask me such a question.. well, i'm intending to get married and have kids u know?? lol..

will be going out in abt 2 hrs time.. meeting my dear gf.. going shopping with her and have dinner.. but i dun think i'll be home very late tonite.. haha.. owells.. meeting her again tmr with the other gals and i'm somehow not looking towards tmr.. for some reasons but.. owells.. i'm letting go so that i can live better and not because i wanna give them a 2nd chance or smth.. i'm just torturing myself like that.. so why not free myself from all that torture and let go?? haha... in this case, i'm only referring to the 4 gals..

owells.. gotta go offline soon.. need to shower and get ready to go out.. need to go to the bank first.. update my bank book again.. haiz.. poor me.. ok, will update soon again!! :)

hmm.. seems that now my laptop can let me blog, wad did i just say abt blogging more often?? haha.. let's do a late nite post tonite den..

was basically at home the whole day today.. one, the rain just somehow spoilt my mood of gg out.. every time i look at the sky, it alwaes seems to be dark and gloomy.. haiz.. so sian.. but i guess that just doesn't stop me from making plans to go out with best friends.. haha.. meeting angeline on friday and saturday.. friday to celebrate her birthday wif her.. an early celebration on my part lah.. looking forward to our 3rd date together after the holidays have started.. haha.. the 1st was when she accompanied me to the IT fair and 2nd was on monday.. haha.. lol.. saturday to celebrate the other girl's birthday but just don't seem to be looking forward to it even though angeline is gg as well.. mayb it's because of those incidents that took place.. mayb like wad he said, to let go.. and only when i let go, will i be able to forgive them and move on.. but the problem is, i can't seem to let go no matter how willing i am.. it's those memories tat they gave me lah.. just wish they can disappear from my life.. hopefully i'm not so suai to end up in the same class as any one of them in yr 2, will i??

actually planning to meet tracy tmr.. but then, the weather was another factor that made me reconsider my decision.. and also because i'm broke alr.. no money so can't get her present for her yet.. will have to wait till after easter and i'm not planning to go out next week so that would mean i've got extra 40 bucks to spend the following week with tracy.. haha.. hopefully i manage my budget well enough.. i hope i do... dun overspend my budget can liao.. lol.. ;p

owells.. i guess i'll stop here for now.. starting to feel a little tired.. will try to sleep soon after a cup of milo.. haha.. have been having problems sleeping since after exams.. strange but owells.. i believe if i continue to try and tire myself out, i will be able to fall asleep without much problems.. p.s exam results release tmr/thurs!! strange but i can't wait to get back my results.. lol.. :) will update again after i know my results.. haha.. :) nights everyone..

i guess i'll be updating more often nw that i have my laptop!!! haha... slept quite late last nite.. was talking to him online.. surprisingly, we chatted more than what i expected.. haha.. chatted quite a bit although in the end, we concluded that although we are somehow different in character and our beliefs, we still can be friends and we ARE friends.. haha.. and we were talking about the both of us.. he must have been glad to know that i'm letting go.. and the funny thing is, we were actually talking abt the gals and he just said letting go and i asked him in which area is he referring to.. so he just said mayb in trying to forget him... and so, i told him my POV and wow, he actually agreed with what i said.. haha.. owells.. even though we can't be together as a couple, mayb for us, it wld be good to stay as friends.. and hopefully, we'll be each other's good fren.. i think that would be great if this really happens.. :) but no matter what, i'll treat him as a fren and i'll still be friends with him.. too many reflections when he's involved in my tots..

owells.. was slacking awae at home today.. nothing to do.. so was playing games for a while this afternoon.. when u have nth to do, everything will just be bored to you.. well, i'm not a busy person like him or my other friends.. haha.. hopefully this week gets better and i won't be dat bored.. just hoping friends can ask me out to play, to do window shopping or to chat.. i would be so happy just to do that and get away from home.. haha.. there's CATS tmr.. will be seeing my lovely team of ladies and those darling kids.. although they can be naughty, yet i still love them... who ask me to love kids soo much!! haha... there's piano too.. haiz.. sian.. really dun feel like playing piano and it's not 45 mins tmr.. but 1 1/2 hrs.. i'm just too tired to commit to practising every week esp. now that i'm on holiday.. may propose quitting piano again to mum someday.. although i love music, but i'm losing the interest.. owells.. :S

haha!! i'll be updating my blog on my very own laptop from now onwards!! yeah!! i'm so happy.. like finally.. my own laptop.. haha.. anyway, since the last post till now.. a lot of things happened.. in school and in relationships.. the friendship between us gals just became sour.. purely because of projects and the peer evaluation.. i know they dun read my blog thus i can write it out here.. but then again, this is my blog.. why shld i bother how they think.. in relationships, i've really decided to let go.. reason being, is that he's told me how's he's feeling.. another reason is that i guess it was a good thing that he told me what he said.. cause i'm starting to feel tired waiting for him and trying to change him.. it's really tiring just to wait for him.. so i've decided to give up and let go.. letting go now although will make me feel hurt and pain, but this beats having to let go in the future.. it'll be even more pain and hurtful to me.. so yup, let go... owells.. but i think my tao hua yun quite strong the last few weeks since valentine's day.. have been meeting new guy friends.. haha.. but for now, i'm not thinking that far ahead.. what matters most for personal matters is to try and get over him asap...