i've been crying over the last few days. as a result, my eyes are all a little red and swollen. reason being, poly has started. i'm so scared. although this week only has lectures, but it still scares me. i'm so scared i can't cope with tutorials and with project and group work. i'm so scared i can't fit in. i'm so scared of everything. i'm trying my best to not cry everyday and at least look forward to school. but wad's happening is however the opposite. i cry everyday and instead of looking forward to school, i'm looking forward to lessons ending and being able to go home. hopefully with time, this will all be the opposites. today so happen to be my one and only free day for this week. no lab class. ever since my aunt left us, i've been closer to my family members. as a result, i'm being homesick each time i go to school. tmr's thursdae. lesson in the morning till afternoon 2 pm with an hr break in btw so mayb it wun be too bad except when i'm gg to sch. but i can't say about fri. when i come home and shower after my 1st lesson during the 3 hr break, my mum leaves the hse and i'm left alone at home again till 1 plus. and then i'm back at school. haiz.. this is just scaring me and giving me a lot of stress. hopefully things get better.

during my orientation, i was badly homesick.. it was just so bad till i nearly wanted to cry.. just sort of missed home.. afterall, 5 mths since i haven attended school so guess will just have to slowly adapt to sch life again.. takes time, i guess.. made some new friends esp. those from my class.. real nice people but maybe cause i'm not close to them yet, i find it hard to talk to them but time... anywae, if anyone has a remedy for homesickness, pls tell me! i'll need to cure my homesickness fast! haha.. timetable wise, isn't much of a hectic.. still quite manageable.. but cause it's week 1, no tutorials only lectures so next week, mon to wed, i only go to sch in the afternoon for 2 hrs a day.. so mayb it wun be that bad but the later the lessons, the more i dun feel like gg at all.. but when the tutorials come in, i guess it wun be that bad lah.. as for thurs and fri, lessons till 2p.m for thurs and 4 p.m for fri.. so actually, more or less, i'll still be able to watch some of my fave shows so i doubt it'll be that bad.. will update again when sch proper starts..

my computer's lagging badly or is the system just getting on my nerves?? took so long just to load a page.. blogger got me irritated the last few days.. argh! anywae, was out with the girls on saturdae.. had fun with them doing shopping.. they got what they wanted and i got what i wanted so it was quite enjoyable! well, partly cause this would be the last time out shopping together esp. now that they've started poly and the next time out would be ages later... so was overall happy with my gain that afternoon.. met up for dinner with my dear long sisters and little cousin.. tired sort of overtook me and i was a little irritated with my cousin that evening for a little little while.. i become easily irritated if i'm out the whole day without any rest. hopefully it just gets better when school starts on monday officially... owells.. orientation's tmr.. not very enthusiastic about it but would love it if i get my timetable tmr.. den i can pon half a day on fridae.. yes, me poning orientation when i've never poned sec school b4.. haha.. it's so... unbelievable.. of course, plans to pon school will only be confirmed after tmr and on friday.. things will have to depend on how the orientation goes tmr.. if it's fun and enjoyable, den mayb i wun pon afterall.. if not, heehee.. i'll come home and sleep.. guess will be rather tired tmr.. owells.. actually i'm both excited and nervous when school starts.. after all that holiday-ing, it's time to get down to serious business and i'm gonna work real hard for the next 3 years.. hopefully there's still a chance for me to go university to get a degree.. lol.. a degree is better than a diploma so since i can, why not work hard and hopefully end up in the uni??? wun that be better?? and also, i dun wanna waste mum's money.. so yup, it just all boils down to one thing: work hard! lol... hopefully i'll make new friends tmr and enjoy myself and dun think abt *****... haha... :p

blogging time!! haha.. anywae, was at home the whole day after applying for my ez-link card at bedok interchange.. after 4 years, it's time for a new ez-link card with a new picture.. went back to KC yesterdae... as i was walking to the needle-work room, i started thinking about how we used to have lessons in class, the noisy corridors after recess, how we would laugh at teachers and their jokes and stuff.. really missed those laughter and joy we had in class.. i think before poly starts, these would be the days that i would miss.. afterall, KC could be considered as my 2nd home since i spent most of my time in school and with friends.. so naturally, i would miss everything. had a talk with my ex-form teacher as well.. wanted to play a small "joke" on her.. but din quite work out.. but she still rmbs all of us.. i think even if i lost contact with the juniors of CO, i'll still go back to KC and visit those teachers, provided they're still teaching.. haha.. owells.. the next time i go looking for teachers, will be when i go back to school to collect my year book and my GCE 'O' level cert, bah? haha.. i think i'll arrange a time with hui yee and clair and we'll go back together.. really missed my two dear partners!! haha... owells... shan't blog further.. :)
P.S: hey, am i such a funky god-sis to you?? you know who you are.. haha!

it's almost close to a week since i got my contacts and during this close to one week, i only wore my contacts once... actually i sort of regretted getting contacts done.. mayb because i'm at home most of the time just before poly starts and since i'm at home, i hardly touched my contacts. but come to think of it, i got my contacts only for special occasions like.. christmas? family photo shoots and mayb only during cny? hopefully when poly starts, i'll wear my contacts more often but yet at the tot of having to wash my contacts, put in and take out my contacts just puts me off.. guess i'm really not used to having a pair of invisible specs around and having to wear them. mayb it's just the experience, i guess? but somehow or another, i feel ok with the contacts on but in another undescribable way, i'm uncomfortable with it. really think i'm not used to it.. ok, this sort of concludes another consequence of my reckless thinking. owells...