suddenly had the urge to start blogging.. haiz... was reading aretha's blog just now.. and it triggered my tots and reflections.. time do pass very fast.. 2003, i entered KC.. entered a new environment and made new and many frens.. 2004, the bonds btw frens grew stronger and affairs of the heart just struck me.. made even more frens thru a new cca and better friendships with frens from the same class.. almost at the end of 2004, was nominated to be a prefect with hui yee and others bt i rejected.. didn't see the need to become one and lose my frens if they couldn't understand my duty.. and i didn't and wun regret my decision though i sometimes feel i shldn't have reject it.. 2005, the same thing happened.. a new class with new classmates.. had fun with them though we weren't very united as compared to my former class.. 2006, final year in KC.. sitting for 'O' levels in a few months and getting more and more scared yet that kind of fearfulness cannot be explained and may be can't even be experienced for some others.. i nv knew that time would actually pass so soon.. just like for church, it's been 10 years and in july, i'm gonna officially end cathechism with my confirmation.. i suddenly have this fear.. this fear of doing badly in exams, this fear of not doing to wad is expected of me be it by parents or family or even myself.. i just don't know now.. i feel at a loss.. it seems everything's coming to an end.. in school and in cathechism classes.. after this year, will we ever meet again? will we ever meet up for chats and parties.. and will the closest of the closest of my frens ever lose contact with me? or the frens whom i've known for 10 years.. i really dunno.. all these just seem to have triggered me.. these tots and feelings.. i have this sense of fearfulness that can nv be described in this point of time.. mayb like wad renfu said, at this point of time, other than studying, i really dunno wad to do and wad my life is becoming.. is it becoming more fruitful or is it becoming more useless.. haiz.. owells.. there's nth i can do much abt it, rite? other than focusing on my studies now and try to do as well as possible for 'O' levels?? anywae, school is starting again next week.. when school starts, i'll be busy with exams, with prelims, with tests and of course, with stress.. think will not be online as often.. if i can come online once every 2 weeks or once a month, i think it would be quite ok.. then i can have more time in studying for my exams and tests and focus more on studies.. bt will i be able to do it? hopefully so if GOD give me the strength and determination and HE will help me through the next half of the year until after 'O' levels... owells.. i have to get back to my maths.. gtg now.. tata...